+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 32
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    49
    Thanked
    3
    Reviews
    0
    We have been trying for a Bub for 4 years now and have had 5 rounds of unsuccessful IVF. A work colleague recently asked when I was having children and not wanting to go into details with him I simply said we had been trying for a while but things hadn't worked out yet and he flippantly said "well you mustn't know how to do it right in the bedroom". Felt like punching him in the face.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    615
    Thanks
    95
    Thanked
    76
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I've been really lucky not to have had too many comments... just lots of when will you have another one...

    But in terms of insensitive remarks I had one recently. I'm sure nothing was meant by it, but in the situation I am sure they could have chosen more appropriate wording and at a teary time anyway I went home and just bawled. I've just had a super early MC a 5.5 weeks. I haven't had one before, was upset obviously and didn't know what to expect. Started bleeding so turned up to the hospital (on my dr advice) who took bloods and said well your test is still positive, go home, try to be hopeful and come back tomorrow for an ultrasound. Turned up the next day to the radiology and got this bloke who asked me what was going on. I told him how many weeks I was and that they thought I was possibly having a MC but that's why I was there to check it out. So up oh table - I knew things didn't look good as couldn't see anything on the screen. But then he just goes "are you sure you are even pregnant?" Umm yes yes I am. "Yes but are you actually sure?!" Well I was mate - positive home test, positive dr test, positive hospital test. "Oh well, there's nothing ther so you aren't now. That's that then". And then he just left.

    2 weeks on I don't feel so bad now, but still feel they could have been a bit more sensitive about it. Like asking was I sure I had even been pregnant when he had the hospital notes right there - c'mon!! 😡😢

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    23,248
    Thanks
    6,367
    Thanked
    17,670
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    We spent 4.5 years ttc our first, only 6 months for our 2nd and just over 3 for our third so we have spent an insane amount of time ttc. I've had a lot of comments over the years but these are probably the stand outs.

    Stop trying so hard and it will happen. My sister/bestie/aunty did that and she got UTD straight away.
    Yes bc endo and terrible motility suddenly disappear when we don't try so hard

    Maybe this is a sign from the universe that you weren't meant to have any/2 kids.
    It's a sign from the universe you are a jerk.

    You have 2 healthy kids. Why don't you just be happy with them?

    Yes bc the fact I badly want a third child means I'm not happy with the 2 I have

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    Rocky27  (13-01-2017)

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Far North QLD
    Posts
    2,297
    Thanks
    1,984
    Thanked
    2,011
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Gosh people are just so rude & insensitive!! It really frustrates me.

    We spent 4 years ttc our dd. We've also had terrible comments from 'maybe it's a sign you're not meant to be parents' to when we were going through ivf:

    'ivf kids are allergic to everything, people shouldn't even have kids if you have to do ivf'. I so badly just wanted to punch people in the face when saying silly things like that.

    So many more comments have been made but I can't think of them now.

    We've recently just gone through a missed miscarriage. I had one of my friends when she found out go to great lengths telling me how she doesn't have any of my 'issues' and that all her children were unplanned & she was on birth control at the time. Not really what I wanted to hear at the moment!

    I'm so sorry for people saying such stupid things at such a hard time. I don't think people realise how hard a time we're all having. xx

  6. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    23,248
    Thanks
    6,367
    Thanked
    17,670
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    I've heard people (especially religious) say that ivf is wrong and if you were meant to have kids you would have them.

    Yes, that's why you took AB's for that raging ear infection or had a c/s bc the birth was going wrong right? Bc you are leaving it to god and how it was meant to be? Idiots.

  7. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    Gentoo  (13-01-2017),HillDweller  (13-01-2017),mckel  (13-01-2017),Mif1  (23-01-2017)

  8. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    1,981
    Thanks
    2,505
    Thanked
    1,774
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    This thread needs a 'Wow' or shocked face emoji button, not just the 'Thanks' button. So many of these are just awful!

  9. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to JustJaq For This Useful Post:

    babyno1onboard  (13-01-2017),hopefull29  (13-01-2017),Rocky27  (13-01-2017),Shoopuf  (13-01-2017)

  10. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    2,238
    Thanks
    96
    Thanked
    2,083
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by erinn View Post
    I've been really lucky not to have had too many comments... just lots of when will you have another one...

    But in terms of insensitive remarks I had one recently. I'm sure nothing was meant by it, but in the situation I am sure they could have chosen more appropriate wording and at a teary time anyway I went home and just bawled. I've just had a super early MC a 5.5 weeks. I haven't had one before, was upset obviously and didn't know what to expect. Started bleeding so turned up to the hospital (on my dr advice) who took bloods and said well your test is still positive, go home, try to be hopeful and come back tomorrow for an ultrasound. Turned up the next day to the radiology and got this bloke who asked me what was going on. I told him how many weeks I was and that they thought I was possibly having a MC but that's why I was there to check it out. So up oh table - I knew things didn't look good as couldn't see anything on the screen. But then he just goes "are you sure you are even pregnant?" Umm yes yes I am. "Yes but are you actually sure?!" Well I was mate - positive home test, positive dr test, positive hospital test. "Oh well, there's nothing ther so you aren't now. That's that then". And then he just left.

    2 weeks on I don't feel so bad now, but still feel they could have been a bit more sensitive about it. Like asking was I sure I had even been pregnant when he had the hospital notes right there - c'mon!!
    I have children so wasn't going to reply, but this one reminded me of a few months ago. I miscarried at about 8 weeks with a baby we had been trying for, for 11 months. I was out of town by myself, so went to the hospital by myself when the bleeding started. When the doctor told me what was happening, I started crying and she just said "why are you even crying, you're not even pregnant, it's gone any way".
    Then of course I start bawling my eyes out and I hear her tell a nurse (because curtains aren't even remotely soundproof) that I'm "too upset for someone who isn't pregnant" and maybe need a psych consult.

  11. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    23,248
    Thanks
    6,367
    Thanked
    17,670
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Ahalfdozen View Post
    I have children so wasn't going to reply, but this one reminded me of a few months ago. I miscarried at about 8 weeks with a baby we had been trying for, for 11 months. I was out of town by myself, so went to the hospital by myself when the bleeding started. When the doctor told me what was happening, I started crying and she just said "why are you even crying, you're not even pregnant, it's gone any way".
    Then of course I start bawling my eyes out and I hear her tell a nurse (because curtains aren't even remotely soundproof) that I'm "too upset for someone who isn't pregnant" and maybe need a psych consult.
    That's so unprofessional and nasty. I've had similar reactions from my m/c's but more from family and friends than med pros.

  12. #19
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    1,011
    Thanks
    776
    Thanked
    565
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by M'LadyEm View Post
    I think the worst comment I got was when I was having a hcg done at the beginning of this pregnancy when I was faced with a threatened miscarriage. The phlebotomist actually said to me "gee, everybody is wishing to be pregnant today!" in quite a negative tone of voice. Never mind that it was an IVF pregnancy on our 4th round after 3+ years of trying. FU lady. I almost wrote and complained but I was more concerned with what was actually happening to me at the time.

    I used to just fob people off by saying it would happen when it happens, we were saving money etc until it got to a point where I would just flat out tell people the truth - we've been trying for years, no luck yet. We've started IVF. I'm just getting over a miscarriage etc etc. So what if it makes them uncomfortable, they're the ones asking the probing questions.
    I admire you for telling the truth to people and it might make someone think twice before asking the next person.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Hopeful37 For This Useful Post:

    babyno1onboard  (13-01-2017)

  14. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    376
    Thanks
    2,156
    Thanked
    608
    Reviews
    0
    I think the worst is people who are lucky and take it for granted.

    A friend of mine who wasn't even officially trying fell first go and she has done nothing but whine to me about how much being pregnant sucks. Never once thinking "geez she would probably give everything to be in my place". Oh - and she also was going to abort because she freaked out about it happening so quickly.

    Then there is a guy at work who's wife unexpectedly fell and I got caught in the kitchen when he was talking to someone else and explaining that they couldn't decide whether to keep it or not, they already have 2 and didn't really want a 3rd. That annoys me - I'm pro-choice, but I'm also pro-use your brain. Don't want more kids? Find a contraceptive option.

    I've shut a few people down before by just mentioning my PCOS. Luckily all my friends and family know and they don't say anything or ask any questions. So I'm lucky in that respect. But I don't hesitate to shut them down - even exaggerate. Was having dinner at my MIL's one night and a friend of hers was drunk and started saying stuff (first time DF and I had met her mind) and so I shut her down by pointing out that I was due in surgery 3 days later for my PCOS, that i was probably never going to be able to have kids etc. She went bright red and changed the subject. Funnily enough MIL isn't friends with her anymore...

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Pcos30 For This Useful Post:

    Hopeful37  (13-01-2017)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Comments about ovulation on 2CA
    By Sibby in forum IVF
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 16-09-2016, 09:29
  2. I really shouldn't have scrolled down to the comments
    By Stretched in forum General Chat
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 23-05-2016, 12:18

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Baby SensoryBaby Sensory is the only baby programme that offers a complete approach to learning & development. Our classes ...
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›