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  1. #1
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    Default Would you tell your 6 year old

    That someone he knows has died?
    One of my dads good friends passed away last night, DS (6) knew him and maybe saw him a few times a year (Xmas and dad's birthday) he's had cancer and looked terrible at Xmas time but DS never noticed and we've never spoken about it, we are very lucky that DS had never had anyone he knows pass away so I've never really had a death conversation with him yet, I think it's best if we don't mention it but my sister thinks maybe we should as he's eventually going to see this mans wife without him at family functions and it might be harder to explain it to him then or if he over hears someone talk about it? What would you do?

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    I think I'd probably not tell him and only address it if DS brings it up or asks where he is. Death is such a complex thing for a child to process, I would only delve into it if I absolutely had to (I.e. If someone close to the child passes).

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    Will he be at the funeral? I think it's important if you see them for him to say goodbye so I probably would. But I have had to have talks about sickness and death with DS already. And he isn't 4 yet.

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    No he won't be at the funeral ( I'm going to leave him at my SIL for the day and he will probably think we are going to work) he really won't know unless he overhears something , I suppose I don't want him to start worrying about any one close to him dying or panic if someone gets sick

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    Personally I would if he's someone you saw a lot that he would expect to see. He might panic but you could explain he was old and sick for a long time.

    If you tell him yourself then the times and means of him finding out are in your control, which I think is better for him in the long run.

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    Yes if it were my DD I would. We are quite honest with her about most things. If he is going to potentially notice at a future event that he isn't there it will avoid upsetting people if he asks where he is. It will also give him an opportunity for him to be exposed to death and learn to deal with those emotions without it being someone he's very close to which might be helpful to him in future if unfortunately someone he is close to passes. I never found DD concerned about one of us dying however she's not particularly 'emotional'.

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    We had a similar predicament, but I elected to tell DS because we had an immediate family member with terminal cancer.

    I felt it was important to lay the framework, so when the time came, a lot of his questions were answered.

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    yes. Death is part of life and why must we shield our children from it.
    My boss passed away when my daughter was 5. She had meet him a couple of times.
    It was a learning experience for her. Death doesnt have to be a scary thing.
    Just be honest and matter of fact about it. He died of a heart attack so i said to DD that his heart broke and people cant live without their heart.

    About a year ago we lost our family dog and DD was upset but she took it very well. Again, matter of fact about it. (the dog) was sick and had something wrong with her heart. I didnt say that we had put her down (while she was at school) i just said 'remember how (the dog) was sick, well she dies today'. DD cried and we had a funeral and buried her out the back but she was fine.

    I work it aged care so death is a part of my job. Ive been upset with residents passing away and explained why to my kids.

    You dont have to go into too much detail about it. Just be honest. They will have to deal with it later in their lives, whether it be pets, grandparents, parents or friends...might as well teach them about it when it happens.

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    I would talk to my 4 year old about it. My 18 month old too, actually. We've always discussed death. It can be upsetting and confusing, but to me death is just another part of life.

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    I think it is important to share this with children at whatever age. Death is a part of life, and from what I have seen, children often handle a death better than we expect them to. My granddaughters, are two and four, and they have recently had their uncle die. The two year old hasn't really understood, but the four year old has just accepted it. I would certainly tell your child. marie.

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