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  1. #1
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    Default Me VS The Xbox

    These days I'm fairly certain if there was a house fire my partner would rescue the Xbox before me. He spends more time with it than me. He plays with it more than me. And it sure seems to give him more enjoyment than being with his family.
    I find myself becoming more and more irrational about the bloody thing. Im about ready to bury the thing in the backyard in the dead of night. I'm paranoid he's flirting with other women on these games. He sometimes spends close to 10 hours a day in that room on it.
    Whether he's cheating, flirting or just choosing to play games rather than spend time with us, I'm not really liking any of those reasons and I really don't know how to lure him out anymore.

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    That would drive me nuts.

    Have you had a serious talk to him about it? 10 hours is completely excessive, especially when you're a grown man with a family who wants to spend quality time with you.

    I would see if he'll agree to some time limits and a schedule. My DH (for example) generally plays at night after DS and I have gone to bed (and not every night, maybe 2-3 nights a week). Sometimes he'll have a short session during the day (an hour or less), but that's only if DS and I are at home anyway and doing our own thing. Family comes first.

    The other concern is that he is actually addicted to gaming, which will make it harder to get through to him.

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    I've had quite a few talks with him about it. It's like talking to a brick wall 90% of the time. He's always either playing the Xbox or playing with his phone and I'm having to almost scream anything at him to get him to listen and repeat everything for him to hear it. I'm so sick of repeating everything and it being so hard to have a conversation I'm just getting to the point where I'm giving up. If he wants to spend all his time away from us and not talk to me soon he'll find his family won't be there. Feel like he's just training me to live without him.
    I know there's a definite issue of obsession and addiction, he has a very addictive nature, I've tried to get him to get help about other things and would just get yelled at.
    I'm really sick and tired of coming 2nd to a machine and to people he doesn't even know. I probably don't even come 2nd. More like 4th or 5th to everything that's more important to him these days.

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    Default Me VS The Xbox

    Omg you poor thing!! I can't even imagine having to put up with that!! I'd be out of there! I've no time for boy men! You deserve better than that!
    Last edited by 4B2L; 10-01-2017 at 11:06.

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    Default Me VS The Xbox

    Quote Originally Posted by mammadrama View Post
    I've had quite a few talks with him about it. It's like talking to a brick wall 90% of the time. He's always either playing the Xbox or playing with his phone and I'm having to almost scream anything at him to get him to listen and repeat everything for him to hear it. I'm so sick of repeating everything and it being so hard to have a conversation I'm just getting to the point where I'm giving up. If he wants to spend all his time away from us and not talk to me soon he'll find his family won't be there. Feel like he's just training me to live without him.
    I know there's a definite issue of obsession and addiction, he has a very addictive nature, I've tried to get him to get help about other things and would just get yelled at.
    I'm really sick and tired of coming 2nd to a machine and to people he doesn't even know. I probably don't even come 2nd. More like 4th or 5th to everything that's more important to him these days.
    This is me and my partner except he is obsessed with his phone. He spends all day watching YouTube, Facebook and heaven knows what else. My son asks him to play a game with him and the answer is normally " yeh I'll be there soon" and he never comes or just a flat out no. I am also sick and tired of that damn thing being more important than me and our son.

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    That's exactly my partner, if it's not the Xbox it's his phone, can't get any sense out of him. I can't get him to do anything. Don't remember the last time he changed a nappy or made a bottle. By some miracle I was able to have a few hours without the kids Nye but I still had to get bottles organised and have everything there for him. I've tried to talking to him, screaming at him, writing to him, and still nothing changes. Nothing ever does.

  7. #7
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    That is a very sad comment. " nothing ever changes" . I think you just have to decide where you want to be in your future. Can you tolerate this for another year, or five years. ?? For myself, I would have left ages ago. I look at this as an addiction.. Unless he is willing to admit he has a problem, and he is willing to seek help, then I would just leave. I might not actually leave the house, but I would certainly not be considering him in any way. I would be not cooking for him,not cleaning up after him, certainly no bedroom action. This is not a relationship, this is him living in his own world and you in yours. I wish you good luck, marie.

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    Default Me VS The Xbox

    Quote Originally Posted by mammadrama View Post
    That's exactly my partner, if it's not the Xbox it's his phone, can't get any sense out of him. I can't get him to do anything. Don't remember the last time he changed a nappy or made a bottle. By some miracle I was able to have a few hours without the kids Nye but I still had to get bottles organised and have everything there for him. I've tried to talking to him, screaming at him, writing to him, and still nothing changes. Nothing ever does.
    I refuse to allow an Xbox in this house because I know that he will be on it constantly. It's bad enough with his phone let alone an Xbox as well. My partner has recently started to go in the bedroom to sit on his phone, I'm presuming it's cause he doesn't get bothered by our son as much in there and also so he can have naps. It infuriates me and we have many arguments over it so I feel your pain.

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    They are addictive. We have a PS3 and DS1 has meltdowns if it is taken away.

    Have you thought about "accidentally" breaking it. Put a disc in upside side, break a cable, drop the controller.

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    I've thought about it a lot. But id have to cop a heap of yelling even if it was a complete accident. He's never hit me or the kids and he never would but he's got an anger problem and I'm sure I'd get yelled at and put down for hours and I just don't want to poke the bear as they say.
    Lately I've been trying to separate myself from him, I'd rather him spend 24/7 on it if it meant he wasn't yelling at me or putting me down again.
    Just wish I had the money and the support to leave whenever I want.


 

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