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  1. #1
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    Default Toddler parenting books/ideas

    Ok so after a not so great morning with my 18 month old involving me yelling way too much I'm after some recommendations for toddler parenting (or general parenting) books or philosophies I can look into?
    What I'm struggling with is my dd is very high energy and what I would call 'spirited'. When she's awake she's going and doesn't stop til she's asleep again. She's an only child and we won't be having any more. She goes to childcare 2 days a week when I work. She is generally adorable and sweet and very happy. But I have no idea what I'm doing (again!).
    She climbs everything and does.not.ever.listen to me or DH. She does throw screaming fits sometimes when she can't do what she wants. She HATES me doing the dishes and stands at my legs screaming the whole time (this has been going about 2 months now and it doesn't matter what time of day or what I do to try and distract her she just screams and won't stop).
    I don't know how to deal with the screaming and whingeing and tantrums and I don't know how to 'discipline' her or get her to listen to me. As an example this morning she climbed the chair in her bedroom about 10 times to get on top of her bookshelf. Every time I said 'no standing' but she just keeps doing it again and again til I lose my block and put her out of the room and she screams her head off I also tried putting her on the floor when she climbed but she just gets straight back up. Last night I closed her bedroom door so she couldn't get to the chair and she lost it.
    I'm just looking for something to read so I understand more about where she's coming from developmentally and how I can best help her. Preferably without yelling

  2. #2
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    One book a lot of parents swear by is 1-2-3 Magic.

    I bought the book myself, but when it became clear my DS had more going on than just difficult toddler behaviour (ASD), I didn't end up taking that approach.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Degrassi View Post
    One book a lot of parents swear by is 1-2-3 Magic.

    I bought the book myself, but when it became clear my DS had more going on than just difficult toddler behaviour (ASD), I didn't end up taking that approach.
    I have heard of that one so I might look into buying it thanks!

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    Yep 1-2-3 Magic is so great, and it's simple to follow. It does mean your DH will need to be onboard for consistency. Also anything by Nigel Latta is wonderful.

    Keep your chin up lovely x

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    My DS2 is a spirited child and I still struggle with him at 4 - he's just so full on.

    At 18 months your ability to discipline is really limited (IMO) to redirection, distraction and persistence.

    I would suggested reading

    Raising your spirited child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

    It saved me, not kidding. It helped me understand him better and that helped me be patient - well most of the time, I still struggle.

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    Your post could almost be a copy of one I wrote a few years ago... lol

    My girl (now almost 7) was exactly the same as this. I reckon I read every book under the sun and I still have no idea what I am doing however it has got better with experience.

    I think the two books that helped the most were "raising your spirited child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids" by Laura Markham.
    Both had some good strategies and actual scenarios that made it easier to work out how to put them into play.

    I also ended up getting help from a local parenting group who sent a volunteer parent out to help me brainstorm ideas etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Yep 1-2-3 Magic is so great, and it's simple to follow. It does mean your DH will need to be onboard for consistency. Also anything by Nigel Latta is wonderful.

    Keep your chin up lovely x
    Thanks harvs I hadn't heard of Nigel Latta I'll add that to the list. I'm the kind of person who needs to read a lot when I have a problem and figure out where I sit on the spectrum. I find it really useful just to read different ideas and mull things over.

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    Hey I reread your OP more closely, and just wanted to add it's also a good idea to teach her how to do things like climb off chairs/beds etc safely. You can assume she's not going to stop completely 😳, so at least that can relieve some anxiety.

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    I read a Pinky McKay book - Toddler Tactics - when ds was that age. And ToddlerCalm by Sarah Ochwell-Smith.

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    Ooooh thanks for all the suggestions everyone!
    I found a note on my phone I wrote ages ago with some book suggestions I picked up from another BH thread, I must have known this was coming for me
    Now I have too many on my list to buy so I'll see if I can get some at the local library and go slowly if anyone has more feedback on any of these that'd be great!
    1. 1-2-3 Magic
    2. The whole brained child by Daniel Siegel
    3. Parenting from the inside out by Daniel Siegel
    4. Parental Guidance Recommended (used to be Children Are People Too) by Louise Porter
    5. Raising your spirited child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
    6. Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
    7. Elevating child care - a guide to respectful parenting by Janet Lansbury
    8. Happiest toddler on the block by Harvey Karp
    9. Politically incorrect parenting by Nigel Latta
    10. Peaceful parent happy kids by Laura Markham
    And two courses I have found:
    1. Parenting by connection (a friend highly recommended this to me)
    2. Talk less, listen more (an online course I think based on 1-2-3 magic?).


 

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