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  1. #1
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    Default Well needed vent

    I'm the first to admit I am not in the healthiest of relationships at the moment and my PND and anxiety are not helping. Unfortunately I don't feel I have anyone to turn to and vent to and I'm feeling very unsure of whether to keep trying or to walk away.
    We have 2 beautiful kids together, an 18mth old daughter and a 3mth old son. We're broke, exhausted, stressed out and fighting all the time. He can't work for medical reasons or care for the kids full time so I'm unable to work either. We recently moved to be closer to his family and more support, but even though his parents are literally around the corner we never see them. I have no friends. My partner spends all his free time on his Xbox. I spend all my time with the kids and talking to no one. Sometimes I think of leaving but don't feel I have anywhere to go.
    I feel like I've lost my personality. I don't enjoy things anymore. I don't remember when I really felt relaxed or happy. My partner has a temper and yells a lot and puts me down a lot. I feel like I spend a lot of time trying to not upset him. These days I avoid him and just carry on with the kids and stay out of his way and avoid conversation. And that's not healthy.
    I don't know what I feel anymore. I just feel numbed and removed.

  2. #2
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    I really wish I could give you a hug right now. I hope you find someone to chat to. Perhaps you could see your GP to get a referral for a counselor. I'm sorry I can't offer advice but I just wanted to say hang in there xx

  3. #3
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    Gosh you're in a tough situation do you have any family or friends on your side that you can lean on for a bit of support?

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  5. #4
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    My mums about an hour away, but she's a little too close, I know if I was to start talking to her about it all she would be too pushy into leaving right away because she was a single mum.
    I desperately don't want my kids having my childhood. I haven't seen my father in 16 years.
    I kinda already feel like I'm repeating the same mistakes. And unfortunately there's not really anyone else.
    I've always struggled with making and keeping friends and in the past few years I've lost the few I did have.

  6. #5
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    I'm so sorry you're going through this, I really am. I understand how you feel COMPLETELY. Right down to the thing with your mum! Just know you're not alone. There is ALWAYS a way! Definitely start by seeing a GP. They can refer you to a counsellor or mental health nurse - you really need someone to talk to. They can help discuss options.

    If you did leave and your kids didn't see their dad, that is NOT on you. It sounds like you've been running yourself ragged trying to be everything to everyone and that's no life! You don't want your kids seeing that example either. You have the right to leave for a better life, what he does after that is on him.

    That may be getting a bit far ahead for now, but keep the thought there. Please see a mental health professional and do what you can for YOU, you deserve to be happy in life! Your kids will only benefit from that.

    Always here if you want to PM for a chat xxx

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    Thank you for the support ladies it's a nice change to not feel so alone and nuts.
    One of the biggest problems is we live in a small rural town where the only business is a pub, and everything else is 45 mins away. Trying to get 3 hours alone so I can take myself to the doctors without the kids has been impossible. I didn't really want to move here in the first place, but we couldn't afford a big enough place in a safe area where we used to live and my partner promised his family would help. That hasn't happened and I don't expect it to change.
    I just wish my partner would listen to me and give me the support I need him to, I don't want to leave him, I keep hoping and wishing we can go back to how we were in the beginning, that we can put all the stress and bad things that have happened behind us and be a family, but half the time I feel like it's me and the kids and a housemate who's always in another room.

  8. #7
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    Would his family help if they were asked? What is his relationship with his folks? It seems he has taken you away from whatever support you might have had, and now you are forced to stay there. This situation is not healthy for your children, and it is more or less repeating your own childhood.
    Start looking towards a future without him. Start making plans to leave and get back to where you have some support . Once you start thinking about moving, you will find your inner strength. It might take some time for you to really be ready to leave, but I can see no point in staying where you are. hugs, marie.

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    We asked if his mum could watch the kids the other week so we could go into town and pick up a swing set for Christmas and she said yes, we rang the next day to find out when to drop them around and she had gone in to town shopping with my sister in law and her kids instead. So I'm reluctant to ask again.
    I've been trying to work out where I even start in leaving. My mums unit isn't big enough for us so I kinda need to have my own place organised to go to first but the idea of that is terrifying. I don't know how to find the money to do that or whether to tell him first or what. I start to think about it and start to have a panic attack.
    I just feel so guilty, like I've subjected the kids to a hard future and family life. I know that's not the case but my lovely depressed and anxious mind loves telling me awful things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mammadrama View Post
    We asked if his mum could watch the kids the other week so we could go into town and pick up a swing set for Christmas and she said yes, we rang the next day to find out when to drop them around and she had gone in to town shopping with my sister in law and her kids instead. So I'm reluctant to ask again.
    I've been trying to work out where I even start in leaving. My mums unit isn't big enough for us so I kinda need to have my own place organised to go to first but the idea of that is terrifying. I don't know how to find the money to do that or whether to tell him first or what. I start to think about it and start to have a panic attack.
    I just feel so guilty, like I've subjected the kids to a hard future and family life. I know that's not the case but my lovely depressed and anxious mind loves telling me awful things.
    Couldn't read and run. Contact Centrelink and get the ball rolling on payments. They maybe able to help with assistance in finding a house and a payment for bond etc. Talk to your mum too.

  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by mammadrama View Post
    We asked if his mum could watch the kids the other week so we could go into town and pick up a swing set for Christmas and she said yes, we rang the next day to find out when to drop them around and she had gone in to town shopping with my sister in law and her kids instead. So I'm reluctant to ask again.
    I've been trying to work out where I even start in leaving. My mums unit isn't big enough for us so I kinda need to have my own place organised to go to first but the idea of that is terrifying. I don't know how to find the money to do that or whether to tell him first or what. I start to think about it and start to have a panic attack.
    I just feel so guilty, like I've subjected the kids to a hard future and family life. I know that's not the case but my lovely depressed and anxious mind loves telling me awful things.
    How are you doing OP?


 

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