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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Considering her kids were distressed and trying to climb in the front of the car her rate of 'checking in' was obviously not frequent enough.
    But like another poster said, what's 'distressed?'

    I'm going to find a screen shot of something that happen in our local park this summer and what somebody posted on the local mum group, you would have a field day!

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  3. #52
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    It's just another example of a no win situation for a parent. Take them in and the mcjudgy's come out because your kids are being loud, leave them in the car and you're abusing them.

    I personally haven't done it but I'm the idiot that accidentally locked her DS in the car or left them to pay for petrol or god knows what other lynchable acts someone would judge me for.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I just simply don't believe the mom wasn't watching. ?
    Either the mum wasn't watching or she let her kids be distressed and climb into the front of the car while she continues to chat. Either option reflects poorly on herself IMO.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Considering her kids were distressed and trying to climb in the front of the car her rate of 'checking in' was obviously not frequent enough.
    My DS constantly tries to get in the front seat when bored (obviously car is not moving). He probably look distressed trying to squeeze between the seats and be all sneaky like.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    So just to confirm .... you are judging the judger of a parent that put her kids at risk rather than the actual parent that put her kids at risk?
    Yes I am.

    Although I did say it's not an awesome thing for the mum to do but since I do not know any of her side of the story I am not going to crucify her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    So just to confirm .... you are judging the judger of a parent that put her kids at risk rather than the actual parent that put her kids at risk?
    I've made that pretty clear. Move on VP.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Either the mum wasn't watching or she let her kids be distressed and climb into the front of the car while she continues to chat. Either option reflects poorly on herself IMO.
    Again, we don't know how old the child that climbed in the front was. I probably wouldn't care if I saw my 6 or 7 year old climb in the front passenger seat. She said they undid their seatbelt, not car seat harness. Kids cry all of the time, VP, and I'm fairly certain you have practiced controlled crying or crying it out which means you have left your child/baby alone knowing they were crying. Is that negligent as well?

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    Default Leaving kids in car for Latte

    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    Again, we don't know how old the child that climbed in the front was. I probably wouldn't care if I saw my 6 or 7 year old climb in the front passenger seat. She said they undid their seatbelt, not car seat harness. Kids cry all of the time, VP, and I'm fairly certain you have practiced controlled crying or crying it out which means you have left your child/baby alone knowing they were crying. Is that negligent as well?
    No - I'm not big on cc or CIO.
    I think you're glossing over the specifics of the case and throwing out red herrings in a misguided effort to protect the sisterhood.

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    Default Leaving kids in car for Latte

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    No - I'm not big on cc or CIO.
    I think you're glossing over the specifics of the case and throwing out red herrings in a misguided effort to protect the sisterhood.
    What specifics? The article lacks many. What sisterhood? I just simply don't agree with how the author chose to deal with the situation, I think her 'article' is pretty ****, very sanctimonious. Had she included more details or been less sanctimommy, I may agree with her more. I don't necessarily agree with what I know of what the mom did (leaving the car running mostly) but I just don't think it warrants an 'OMG what a negligent idiot!' Because I guarantee it's not as bad as the author would have you believe. We're all just trying to survive this parenting gig and grabbing a latte is really low on my '**** things parents do.'

    I thought CC and CIO was a good comparison of what seems to bother you about this story. Have you genuinely never done either? I have at least seen you support mums who do do it, it is knowingly leaving a child crying and distressed. How does the example not compare to a mom knowing her kid is crying but not rushing out to her car?

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    The author does come across quite Sanctimummy. But putting myself in her place, I'd be scared to try and comfort small random children in a car for fear of getting abused or mistaken for trying to kidnap/hurt them. So I think the author was in a no win situation as well.

    Look, I tend to be a big believer in a 'each to their own' approach to parenting. But my yardstick for being judgy is simple. If the child is being placed at risk of harm, then yes I do judge, I totally own that. You bf, bottle feed, use a pram or sling. Bed share, use a cot. Meh, whatever works. But leaving 3 small children in a running car is dangerous on several levels. Someone could have literally jumped in the car and stolen it (it's happened a number of times). The older child could have bumped the hand brake or played with the gears and literally driven the car into a wall or another family. You can get drive through coffee lol you hate dragging your kids in? (I hear her!). Use drive through! Run in and out? ok. But 15 mins with your littlies distressed in the car while you gas bag? Not ok in my books.

    There is Sanctimummy judging...... and there is blind acceptance of any parenting act, however dangerous to the child in favour of 'support'. I'm 100% for supporting fellow mothers, but not ones that put their kids at risk.

    Sorry but I'm with VP on this one.

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    Default Leaving kids in car for Latte

    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    The author does come across quite Sanctimummy. But putting myself in her place, I'd be scared to try and comfort small random children in a car for fear of getting abused or mistaken for trying to kidnap/hurt them. So I think the author was in a no win situation as well.

    Look, I tend to be a big believer in a 'each to their own' approach to parenting. But my yardstick for being judgy is simple. If the child is being placed at risk of harm, then yes I do judge, I totally own that. You bf, bottle feed, use a pram or sling. Bed share, use a cot. Meh, whatever works. But leaving 3 small children in a running car is dangerous on several levels. Someone could have literally jumped in the car and stolen it (it's happened a number of times). The older child could have bumped the hand brake or played with the gears and literally driven the car into a wall or another family. You can get drive through coffee lol you hate dragging your kids in? (I hear her!). Use drive through! Run in and out? ok. But 15 mins with your littlies distressed in the car while you gas bag? Not ok in my books.

    There is Sanctimummy judging...... and there is blind acceptance of any parenting act, however dangerous to the child in favour of 'support'. I'm 100% for supporting fellow mothers, but not ones that put their kids at risk.

    Sorry but I'm with VP on this one.

    Oops hit send too soon....
    Im not blindly supporting the other mum, I just doubt it is how the author describes so that makes me a bit 'meh' about the situation.

    ETA: also, the author could have approached the mom and told her her kids were distressed if she genuinely believed they were distressed and the mom wasn't watching, but she waited apparently 15 minutes to say something with *such* a dangerous situation happening before her eyes.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 31-12-2016 at 00:23.

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