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  1. #31
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    I think I would find it really hard to forgive and I'd probably always have a certain anger inside, but I think in the long run I'd have to try and find a way to forgive in order to move on with my life and be able to function properly for the sake of my other children.

    I remember Oprah used to use this phrase on her show all the time that forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different. I never really understood what she meant back then but as I get older it makes more sense.

    I know someone whose child was killed in a car accident caused by a relative. It's been about 20 years and she interacts with that relative and has said that she's forgiven them. Her life is full and happy and joyful. I'm sure she still has deep private pain but she has managed to be a wonderful mother to her other children. I would hope if I were to ever experience such a horrific thing that I could find the grace and strength to be like her.

    My heart goes out to that family. What an awful thing to happen and on Christmas no less. I can't even imagine their sorrow

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    Just wondering if people's answers would change if the driver was an alcoholic? I expect that a lot of high range drink driving is alcoholics. An alcoholic has less control over their actions - it's an addiction and medical condition.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JustJaq View Post
    Just wondering if people's answers would change if the driver was an alcoholic? I expect that a lot of high range drink driving is alcoholics. An alcoholic has less control over their actions - it's an addiction and medical condition.
    Its definitely a subject that we can all guess how we would react but the reality may be very different.

    If it was an alcoholic I think the hatred toward that person would be the same as if it was just someone that had one too many and made a poor choice

  4. #34
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    Default **trigger** would you forgive?

    Nope I couldn't forgive him as he deliberately got behind the wheel drunk and drove his car !


    I could never forgive him and the family are bigger people than I'll ever be.
    Last edited by granny1; 28-12-2016 at 17:29.

  5. #35
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    Those that would forgive, are you religious?

  6. #36
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    Default **trigger** would you forgive?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    Those that would forgive, are you religious?
    I am catholic but I'm not overly religious. My religion wouldn't come into it I don't think, not for forgiveness anyway.

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    I dont know. Forgiving is actually something I struggle with in general and I am working on it because I recognize how damaging that can be.

    I think drink driving is reckless and irresponsible and dangerous. But it's not evil. I think it is one of those decisions that an otherwise decent human being could make and cause irreparable damage. It shows very poor judgment, but sadly drunk people don't always have the best reasoning skills.

    I think for me it would come down to whether or not they showed remorse.

    I actually know two different people who have been the driver in these situations and maybe that is why I am not so quick to hang this guy up to dry. Both of the men I know were driving cars while under the influence (one 13 yrs ago, one 6 yrs ago). Both were responsible for the death of another person. Both spent time in jail. Neither of them have 'recovered' from their actions. The course of their lives have been forever altered, not because they went to jail and were punished, but because living with the fact they killed someone is too hard. Neither drink alcohol at all anymore. One turned heavily to religion. The other is an outspoken advocate against drink driving.

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  9. #38
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    Default **trigger** would you forgive?

    I imagine that yes, I probably would forgive. Far too much that happens in life is something that could happen to any one of us, and I seem to tap into that and err on the side of forgiveness most of the time. I would struggle if the perpetrator appeared to show no remorse though or wasn't somehow affected by events. From what I have read this driver was significantly over the limit so possibly would have driven regardless, but examples like this are part of the reason I believe in 0 BAC when driving. That's a whole other kettle of worms though.

    No matter what I think, I was so deeply saddened by this story and have spent a lot of time thinking about everyone involved.

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  11. #39
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    Those that would forgive, are you religious?
    yes, I am religious,. I don't know how much of my religion is influencing my response. I have heard many times that forgiveness is something that gives rest to the person who is the forgiver not the person who is forgiven. I think I would need to forgive in order for me to find peace. I also think, I could forgive the person, but never forgive the actions. I have no tolerance for people who drink too much, and absolutely no acceptance of anyone who drinks and then drives.
    I really feel such sadness for this poor family. What a terrible situation. marie.

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    Firstly, I don't think any of us know how we'd respond unless we've beenin this situation.

    That said, it would depend on how remorseful the driver seemed. If they appeared genuinely distraught and remorseful (in the long run, because in the heat of things shock can take over), then yes I think I would forgive them. They didn't set out to kill a child, and whilst they made a selfish and dangerous decision, it's nothing like pre-meditated murder. If they didn't appear to accept responsibility, then I'm not sure I could forgive them. I'd hope to eventually, for my own sake.

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