ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,589
    Thanks
    2,042
    Thanked
    1,421
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger

    Default Teaching how to not invade others personal space?

    DD1 is almost 4, I've picked up that at daycare she's a bit too huggy/ touchy with her friends. She chases her friends to hug them goodbye and even if it's obvious they are uncomfortable she won't stop, even if I or a teacher tells her to stop.

    She does this at home with DD2 also, insisting on hugging and kissing her even to the point where DD2 is crying and DD1 won't stop.

    I've always raised her to know that her body is hers alone and if she doesn't want to hug or touch someone she doesn't have to. She understands that concept when it relates to her own body but doesn't seem to understand with others. I told her that if she tries to hug her friends at daycare or give them a kiss and they push her away or run away or say no then she should not keep trying because they want some space but she says "but they're my friends and I love them". She says the same about DD2 when she's over affectionate and I tell her to back off she says "but she's my little sister and I love her".

    What can I do to help make her understand? I'm afraid she will lose friends because they'll get annoyed with her.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,495
    Thanks
    1,027
    Thanked
    2,118
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I find it quite hard! I used to just think my DS who is 3.5 was just a really affectionate baby and then toddler but now we realise he has a few sensory issues (he's sensory seeking). He sometimes crash tackles the kids at daycare for hugs, or hugs them really tight (they obviously don't like it he's been bitten a few times). I keep trying to tell him to do gentle hugs and give people space. He also likes to squeeze people's faces, affectionately again though they don't take to it well. I'm still trying to work on it so would also love to hear some advice!

  3. #3
    AdornedWithCats's Avatar
    AdornedWithCats is online now Winner 2013 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Winner 2014 - Best Username

    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    8,698
    Thanks
    8,298
    Thanked
    4,188
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 12/6/15Funniest Caption400 Posts in a week300 posts in a week
    Ds's childcare teach them to shake hands - you could try this? I think your DD will understand soon but may still be a bit young to understand other people have different thoughts/opinions/preferences to her. Children don't develop theory of mind until after 3-4 so they struggle with understanding other peoples pov before this develops.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    3,721
    Thanks
    2,402
    Thanked
    3,094
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    My daughter (4) often responds well to explicitly flipping the situation around, when she otherwise just doesn't seem to get it. E.g. "You know how sometimes your cousin hugs you when you don't want her to? How do you feel when she does that? It's just like when you keep hugging your friends, they might feel..."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,598
    Thanks
    441
    Thanked
    3,371
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    DD responded really well to telling her other people's bodies are theirs and hers is hers. We really had to reinforce it though, so if she doesn't want hugs or whatever she doesn't have to give them to anyone.
    It took a few months but being really firm with "Your body is yours and Johns body is Johns and mummy's body is mummies" has really helped and she just turned three.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    22
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0
    Maybe try making a social story and reading her that! My little boy is autistic and we read heaps of social stories, he is overly touchy feely so we wrote a social story to suit him and his relationships!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,589
    Thanks
    2,042
    Thanked
    1,421
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger
    Thank you for the suggestions. I always turn it around and remind her that if it was the other way around and she didn't want to be hugged and kissed she wouldn't like it if someone did it anyway, and although she appears to understand it doesn't change anything.

    I have suspected sensory issues for a while now because she's an extremely picky eater and prone to meltdowns over the smallest things (wrong cup, doesn't like specific clothes, won't sit on certain chairs etc) so that might be worth investigating further.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Gift ideas for 4yo who loves space, planets etc
    By CountryGirl77 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 29-06-2016, 18:34
  2. Hi all - section tweaking .. watch this space ..
    By Veve in forum Childless - not by choice (still trying)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 28-12-2015, 15:16

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
L'il Aussie Prems FoundationAn Australian charity supporting families of premature babies & children. The charity assists families who are at high ...
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›

ADVERTISEMENT