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  1. #1
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    Default Hot and cold new friend

    Firstly -! Happy Christmas to you all !

    I'm wanting some advice about friendship . I made a new friend a few months ago - we got on very well and met up quite a few times and had a good heart to heart and really hit it off and so did our kids . She invited my family to a family party but she pretty much ignored me , I bought a gift and tried to chat to her but she was not interested and neither was her husband .
    We tried to catch up a few times after that but she always texted in the morning that she couldn't make it . So I backed off . I'm not desperate but felt we had really made a connection on our own .
    I go to another party and she and her husband are there , I say hello and they say hello but that's it . So I decide to back off completely even though our kids are friends.

    Then she texts me and tries to set up a play date , i offer her to come to mine this time and she thinks that's a great idea . The day comes along and I hear nothing from her .

    So now I'm thinking that it obviously wasn't meant to be but I'm wondering why people act like this . If I'm with someone alone or in a group im the same person. If I've made friends with someone that's it , I'm a friend . Im wondering if any of you have a friend like this or if I'm being too sensitive . I'm really confused and never encountered this before .

    Anyway ! Enjoy Christmas xx

  2. #2
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    how weird.

    there must be something going on with her as that is pretty strange.

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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by BH-KatiesMum View Post
    how weird.

    there must be something going on with her as that is pretty strange.
    I agree it's strange. What kind of person is she? Is she someone you can just upfront with and ask is everything is ok and if you did something to upset

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    I made a new friend like that last year and ended up giving up about 6 months ago as I couldn't figure her out. Every time I'd see her she'd be like oh we must get together as families for a catch up. Then I would hear nothing from her and it was always me making contact whether it was just to say hi or suggest a catch up and a few times she declined so I stopped bothering and never heard from her.
    I went to her child's first birthday and never heard from her again after the party (think I got a pity invite but thought I'd give it one last go). I didn't get a thanks for coming or thanks for the gift just radio silence. And she ignored my DDs birthday which hurt as they were born the same week.
    Then a month ago (so 6 months since I last saw her) she saw me out (I hadn't even seen her there and it was a big place so she could have just went on her way) and she made a beeline to me (why bother?!) and again was all like how are you we should catch up but then I hear nothing from her. I don't know if she expects me to do all the contacting or if she's nervous about contacting me but I felt like a sycophant having to ask her to catch up all the time and her never taking initiative to contact me. Very odd and hot and cold like your friend. Very mixed messages!
    I can't answer your question as I don't know why people do this but I understanding it's frustrating and a bit of a rejection as you've put yourself out there. Personally I'd let it go from here and not bother. Hopefully you make some nice new friends in the new year

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    This sounds like most of my "friends" which frustrates me like crazy! And probably why I don't have any "best friends"

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    Too much drama, you're better off without that.

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    It is strange isnt it. She is not the kind of person I would feel comfortable having it out with, Im still trying to figure her out. Ive not done anything wrong at all. Its just so odd because the first couple of meet ups she was so relaxed and told me lots of things about herself and I told her thing about myself too that I would usually reserve for a longer friendship. I just felt so relaxed around her. But she switched in a flash. I was a bit hurt but its still a new friendship I just shrugged it off. But she has sent me nice texted when Ive backed off but then been wierd or not continued with the arranged meet up.

    Glad to hear its not just me thats encountered this type of person. So strange !!

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    Totally get it, oh I could tell you stories....

    Just remember, it's not YOU....

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    Thanks everyone , merry Christmas xx

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    Best of luck and merry Christmas

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