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  1. #41
    TheGooch's Avatar
    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post
    I must be the world's biggest grinch/tightarse because I hosted xmas dinner for my in laws last year and I asked them for $25 each. There was 21 of them in total (not including kids) and that fee covered all nibbles, soft drink, Main meal and dessert. That money didn't cover my costs of hiring tables and chairs, buying glassware, crockery etc (i wouldn't expect them to cover that of course) but the whole day cost close to $1000. We could never afford to pay for that! I think the fact that I offered up my house (which basically got trashed and took me a whole day to clean before and then after) and cooked for them all means they can help chip in towards the food. They didn't have to do a thing on the day except turn up! Every other year they "bring a plate" which is a disaster because people get upset that one person bought a green salad ($5) whereas another brought 3kg of ham ($30). I didn't even think twice about asking them for money tbh, although perhaps that's because other years they've hired caterers and been happy to hand over $25 pp. So I figured they'd be ok with giving the money to me. Clearly I am in the minority here though as everyone else finds this horrifying! Now I'm wondering if my in laws had a b*tch about me behind my back? I just thought $25 for having everything (except alcohol) provided was really reasonable. And easy because you don't have to go to the shops and spend $25 on ingredients for the plate of food you have to bring.
    I think it's one of those occasions when what's ok in one family isn't ok in another.
    it wouldn't fly in my family but I can totally respect that it would be fine in another family's culture.
    To be honest, after planning 2 Xmas dinners, a serious case of "fear of under catering" 5 trips to the shops in the last week, a total meltdown at my DH last night because I had a migraine, my foot hurts and I can barely walk, every item
    Of clothing in our house needing folding and putting away, I wish I could have thrown $50 at the situation to make it go away!

    NB I don't really want it to go away. I love Xmas and I will love having people over

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post
    There was 21 of them in total (not including kids)
    That is a huge amount of people and I would totally do the same.

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  5. #43
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    Default Charging a Fee for Christmas Lunch?

    I'm surprised so many people want to have someone else to host it!
    I find it so much more convenient to have it at home - it means I can drink (instead of driving), no worries about packing gifts or taking them home, I can keep all the yummy leftovers but most importantly can go nap on my bed in the afternoon lol.

    Ps no I don't like the idea of charging a fee. You wouldn't at a birthday party or wedding. Happy to accept gifts/offers of plates of food/back or foot massages but wouldn't ask or expect anything, especially cash- that I would refuse
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 22-12-2016 at 15:58.

  6. #44
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    last Christmas my MIL bought ham, turkey, pork, all the vegetables, made the pudding and an ice cream cake plus supplied gravy, cream, custard, nibbles. I actually suggested to my DH, his brother and his sister that we should split the cost of the food as it wasnt fair for their Mum to supply everything. I think from memory we gave her $50 ($150 from all 3 families) but we literally did not have to supply anything and MIL would have spent well over that amount but she wouldnt accept any extra.

    I wouldnt have a problem with it if the money went to food for the day and no one was profiting at the end of the day.

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    I must admit I was shocked anyone would "charge a fee" at first but if it's more like "chipping in" then why not! I would have no issue giving some money to any family member who wanted to host.
    I had the bad experience last year of offering to host, had 15 people that showed up, ate, then left with no offers of bringing food or helping tidy up.

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    Default Charging a Fee for Christmas Lunch?

    We always do the same thing for Christmas each year with my family. Each family group or couple will contribute dishes regardless of who is hosting. Usually it's the same kind of food each year that they do as well because it's a speciality. For example we always do a honey glazed ham, some salads and build your own mini pavlova's, my grandmother always does the turkey and some salads (home made potato salad etc) along with a custard dessert, my mum does a juicy beef roast and makes our traditional Christmas milk based drink, my Aunty is bringing fresh king prawns which we will have as starters with some avocado etc and well the list goes on but you all get the point.

    I would never dream of having a Christmas where we didn't all contribute because that's how it's always worked. We share the cooking and we share the cleaning up after so it really is everyone getting involved.

    We have also split the costs of some meals too for example we get together on good Friday at Easter and have a seafood extravaganza. Traditionally one family group will go to the seafood markets in the morning and will buy whatever we have all agreed to (we chat about the menu we want beforehand) and then we split the cost on the receipt. Last Easter we contributed a few kg of fresh seasoned calamari instead because we knew of a great place to get it and a bucket load of lemons (used for the tonne of seafood) so it all balanced out anyway. We all met at my aunty's house and prepare the seafood and dishes together.

    I love the way that we all pitch in and it makes it not only a more affordable day for everyone but loads more fun and less stressful! That's the whole point anyway right? To enjoy yourself!
    Last edited by TortoiseNotTheHare; 22-12-2016 at 16:18.

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    I guess in my mind, asking for a plate or asking for money is kinda the same thing? If someone asked me, did you want to chip in money for xmas lunch or do you want to bring a plate, I'd choose money every time cause I can be lazy like that! Maybe that's why I didn't even think twice about it? I get that if you're the host then you do take on certain responsibilities and some of the financial burden.... but then again I normally find it's only a very small handful of people that put their hand up to host, which means it usually falls on only a few shoulders and the responsibility isn't shared around evenly.

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    Wowsers, no I would never charge. What is it these days where people host an event, be it a wedding, birthday party etc and expect to charge people like they are a catering company? I see zero issue with bring a plate. That's what we do with DH's family. I find it different than cash bc the person can choose what they bring, to their taste and budget. They can easily utilise existing stuff in their cupboard if they are broke. They can shop around to make the dish cheaper.

    But charging 50 bucks a head? Poor taste and bad manners. And I highly suspect people that do that are making a very nice profit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post
    I guess in my mind, asking for a plate or asking for money is kinda the same thing? If someone asked me, did you want to chip in money for xmas lunch or do you want to bring a plate, I'd choose money every time cause I can be lazy like that! Maybe that's why I didn't even think twice about it? I get that if you're the host then you do take on certain responsibilities and some of the financial burden.... but then again I normally find it's only a very small handful of people that put their hand up to host, which means it usually falls on only a few shoulders and the responsibility isn't shared around evenly.
    It sounds like your family are not willing to share the burden and be fair about things without being forced so I understand where you are coming from and why you're asking them for money.

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    I'd be happy to pay\ask ppl to pay. My mum is hosting this year and has spent $700 on alcohol and nearly the same on food and she hosting for 14 ppl. She's asked us to bring small food items but I feel really bad that she has the financial burden of Xmas catering.

    One year we paid for our own crayfish if we wanted it.

    I don't see why Xmas should be such a huge expense but sharing the cost can help.

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