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  1. #31
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    I must be the world's biggest grinch/tightarse because I hosted xmas dinner for my in laws last year and I asked them for $25 each. There was 21 of them in total (not including kids) and that fee covered all nibbles, soft drink, Main meal and dessert. That money didn't cover my costs of hiring tables and chairs, buying glassware, crockery etc (i wouldn't expect them to cover that of course) but the whole day cost close to $1000. We could never afford to pay for that! I think the fact that I offered up my house (which basically got trashed and took me a whole day to clean before and then after) and cooked for them all means they can help chip in towards the food. They didn't have to do a thing on the day except turn up! Every other year they "bring a plate" which is a disaster because people get upset that one person bought a green salad ($5) whereas another brought 3kg of ham ($30). I didn't even think twice about asking them for money tbh, although perhaps that's because other years they've hired caterers and been happy to hand over $25 pp. So I figured they'd be ok with giving the money to me. Clearly I am in the minority here though as everyone else finds this horrifying! Now I'm wondering if my in laws had a b*tch about me behind my back? I just thought $25 for having everything (except alcohol) provided was really reasonable. And easy because you don't have to go to the shops and spend $25 on ingredients for the plate of food you have to bring.

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  3. #32
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    Holy crap AceofBase nice friend not! Are you kidding me I would never ask for money!

    BabyG4 are you kidding! I would send a txt back say "are you joking".

    That both would be enough for me to question the relationship/friendship.

    No way would I ever charge unless it was a collection for charity.

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  5. #33
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    We've never done this and I would be really uncomfortable with it.

    My BIL's family did this and my sister flipped out. They asked for $80 pp including the two kids! This included alcohol but my sister (and the two kids obviously) don't drink alcohol. My BIL paid and off they went. My sister said the food was awful and it was clear all the money had gone on alcohol

    My mum has chipped in on the groceries for Xmas this year. However that was her choice and an unexpected bonus to the Xmas budget!

  6. #34
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    We don't ask for money. Alcohol is always byo. Certain people will always bring a plate. MIL always brings bags of groceries when she comes over (snacks and desserts mainly and usually a cooked chook and some rolls).
    When we host anything we always cover costs. We often go to "bring a plate" things and I am fine with that. I always get asked to make the desserts so often end up being 3 or 4 plates.
    My husbands work party the other day was bring a plate so I made a pavlova and trifle and hubby made jalapeño poppers and peri peri chicken.

  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post
    I must be the world's biggest grinch/tightarse because I hosted xmas dinner for my in laws last year and I asked them for $25 each. There was 21 of them in total (not including kids) and that fee covered all nibbles, soft drink, Main meal and dessert. That money didn't cover my costs of hiring tables and chairs, buying glassware, crockery etc (i wouldn't expect them to cover that of course) but the whole day cost close to $1000. We could never afford to pay for that! I think the fact that I offered up my house (which basically got trashed and took me a whole day to clean before and then after) and cooked for them all means they can help chip in towards the food. They didn't have to do a thing on the day except turn up! Every other year they "bring a plate" which is a disaster because people get upset that one person bought a green salad ($5) whereas another brought 3kg of ham ($30). I didn't even think twice about asking them for money tbh, although perhaps that's because other years they've hired caterers and been happy to hand over $25 pp. So I figured they'd be ok with giving the money to me. Clearly I am in the minority here though as everyone else finds this horrifying! Now I'm wondering if my in laws had a b*tch about me behind my back? I just thought $25 for having everything (except alcohol) provided was really reasonable. And easy because you don't have to go to the shops and spend $25 on ingredients for the plate of food you have to bring.
    If you were my IL I wouldn't care

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  9. #36
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    I haven't but I don't have an issue with people doing it.

    Christmas is so expensive to host and we get stuck doing it every year! I hate asking people to bring a plate or being asked to bring a plate. You end up with random stuff so I would rather pay and avoid that!

  10. #37
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    When I first tgought about it. I thought no way would I ask for money!

    Although thininking about it now. When we go interstate for xmas I chip in some money to put towards xmas lunch and this year we will be at mums and I have offered to pay for the ham and we will get our own drinks.
    So I think if you are having a very large gathering suggesting money or a plate of food towards the day isnt that bad. But I dont think I would ever ask someone to pay me for the food.

  11. #38
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    I've not read any responses but would never ask for money, but if anyone asks what to bring I ask for something not too expensive and not too difficult or time consuming for them to make.

    So we have my parents bringing a Greek salad and 2 deserts, SIL bringing prawns, MIL bringing 2 salads and the ham. We are doing everything else.

  12. #39
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    I wouldn't do it, and I wouldn't be keen on paying it either. In my family someone hosts and we divide it up amongst the rest of us. So the bigger families bring the turkey or ham, the smaller ones might do side dishes and the singles bring snacks, everyone brings their own drinks.

    We're going smaller this year and it's just our immediate family and basically my parents will bring seafood and ham and I'll do the rest.

    A few years ago our family toyed with the idea of going out for lunch but I just said we can't afford it, and I'd probably do the same if there was a cost per head. I buy on special and also make a lot from scratch so while I might spend more on having it at home, we'll have leftovers for a while and bits and pieces for the next few gatherings we'll likely go to over Christmas/New Years.

  13. #40
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    I've never even thought about having people pay for Christmas lunch... but, whoever we do christmas with, everyone always brings something. I'll usually do a salad or 2, and 2 desserts, maybe some dip and veg as well. I usually end up spending at least $40 on ingredients for whatever it is that we bring. It helps take the load off the hosts. I also try and help them clean up - because that is a job that I absolutely hate, and I think most people at the end of a big day really appreciate the help.


 

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