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  1. #1
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    Default Work Question: Stay or go?

    I'm really struggling with this decision. I started this job 6 months ago, it's 4 days a week but is quite a full-on and often stressful role. My commute is about 1hr to 1.5hrs each way. The pay is very good and it has allowed us to do some work on our house and means we don't ever have to worry much about money. I am friendly with a few people at work and there are a lot of perks.

    However, I have 2 young kids and it has been very hard adjusting to not being around as much. I often leave when they are just waking up and get home after they've gone to bed. I forget to pack things for daycare, meals are all over the place, I struggle to stay on top of everything and am pretty much stressed and exhausted all week. My day off is also quite stressful as I need to keep an eye on emails and be available if needed, and that's hard with the 2 kids to manage. I feel like I'm sinking, I don't get a lot of support from my manager and I feel I'm in over my head. I have been crying most nights for the last few weeks, but so far have managed to keep it together at work.

    I spoke to DH about it and he said he just wants me to be happy and is happy for me to quit if that's what I want. If I'm home, it will take a lot of pressure off him as he's doing all the daycare runs and morning/evening routines during the week. Money will be much tighter, but manageable. The plan would be for me to pick up my study again and finish my Uni course.

    So do I stick it out for the money and hope things get easier/better at work? Or do I bite the bullet and leave?

    Please make my life decisions for me!!

  2. #2
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    You posted before and I encouraged you to stay and wait it out longer...
    Now I'm telling you to leave. You have a plan to finish off uni...so it's a legit reason to leave a job when looking for future employment 'why did you only work for 6 months? Because I went to uni to finish my degree and there wasn't the flexibility in that job to do both.' Ask your boss if you can cut back to two days for uni...they'll say no, but at least you can say you did try and negotiate, and this can be confirmed by your boss.
    If the job is still stressing you out this much after 6 months then leave. You've given it a good go, it's not a good match for you.

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  4. #3
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    Leave.

    Life's too short to be so stressed and anxious.

    There will be another job out there for you. It might not pay as well but some things are more important than money.

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  6. #4
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    I'm sure the extra money is great, but it sounds like it's taking too much of a toll on your family life.

    I would consider leaving to finish your Uni course, then look for a role that can give you a better work/life balance.

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  8. #5
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    Leave. If you can afford to get by without your income, and go back to study, then I'd definitely do that.

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  10. #6
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    Unless you can reduce hours then I would leave.

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    Leave

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  14. #8
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    Having the extra income would be great but at the cost of you feel this upset and exhausted isn't. I would quit, either enjoy your time at home or find something more low key near home.

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  16. #9
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    I'm so sorry you're feeling like this.
    Big hugs xxx
    It's really hard when you're in this kind of situation to know what to do sometimes.
    We can help! There's smart hubbers here and we can support you.
    A couple of questions I have:
    Are you getting any time off over Xmas? Without having to look at emails or work at all? That might give you a break to think it through and discuss with your DH?

    Are you paid for the time you spend on your day off checking emails etc?

    Is there an HR person you can talk to rather than your manager to discuss a flexible work arrangement?

    What would be the ideal for you? Drop one day so you're working 3 days? Or drop 2 days and work 2?

    I know there's no point working if you're just paying the money out to others, but does the money mean you can outsource some housework stuff so that when you're home, the time you spend with family is not spent on those things?

    If you quit, will it cause financial hardship and therefore more stress?

    I'm sorry if these have been answered before. I can't remember seeing them.

    I agree with others, life's too short to have this much stress. And I would quit too if something can't be resolved. But if there's a way to make it work better for you, that would be great too xxx

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  18. #10
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    I vote for leave.
    BUT I vote for stick it out for another six months (hard, I know), live on hubby's income and put ALL of yours away into a savings/offset account (or whatever you use), just so there is some form of backup in case something breaks/you need an emergency trip somewhere or whatever. It might lessen the financial stress on your family when you leave which will make uni a lot easier. You'd only miss semester one of uni and you could always start in second semester.

    It might make it easier to deal with knowing there is an end date in place.

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