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  1. #1
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    Default First christmas without my family

    Hi, as I suppose my profile shows I'm still pretty new here, so I'll try and give the short version of my life:
    I'm 18 I'm a single dad with 100% care of my son, and I love it, I'm profoundly deaf, while I usually have cochlear implants, the external part is non-functional at the moment for both implants.
    I was born one of triplets, but the other two died when I was 11 in a car wreck.
    I became a dad at 16, and now I'm 18.
    Usually I work at Bunnings, though I can't right now for obvious reasons.

    I spend most of my days with my boy at either doctors appointments or down at the beach playing with him, and drawing while he goes to sleep under our beach shelter.

    This year is the first time I'm facing Christmas alone, my parents are overseas, and had planned to be back on Christmas day, but have since decided to spend Christmas in Fiji instead.

    I have had an invite from a friend to go and spend it with her family which I am going to do, though it's not my family.

    I know I'm an adult now because the law says so and I've had to grow up and take care of my son, but I'm not ready to live away from my family let alone not be able to spend Christmas with them, and at the moment I feel so alone without them, being alone without hearing and not able to communicate with people makes me alone enough as it is and now no one I love bar my son is here to spend Christmas with us.

    I don't want to sound ungrateful I know lots of people have it worse than me, I have somewhere safe to live and food on the table for my boy and I both.
    Even with that I know it's not the end of the world but I feel ditched by my parents and super alone, I also don't have any extended family around to spend it with either.

    My only Christmas wish is to wake up on Christmas morning and have Christmas again like it was with my brothers when I was 11 and we were all still together.

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    Mason, it sounds like you've had more than your share of difficulties to face in your lifetime. You are so young, nobody would blame you for feeling sad about being away from your parents at this time of the year let alone doing it while looking after your baby full time as well. That is tough!
    I hope you can enjoy your christmas with your friend and her family and your baby boy. He is very lucky to have you! May I ask what happened to his mother?
    Merry christmas Mason.

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    Mason98  (19-12-2016)

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    Hey - it's not wrong to feel the way you do. I'd be feeling the same.

    I know your friend's family is your *your* family but sometimes family is not people that you are related to but who are there for you when times are tough.

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    Mason98  (19-12-2016)

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    Oh gosh @Mason98 I'm so sorry it took you this long to get a reply.

    Your story touched me very deeply. I couldn't just read and run.

    My suggestion is to start creating your own little traditions with your boy.

    I'm glad that you have chosen to spend it with friends. Nobody should be alone at Christmas.

    I'm so sorry for everything that has happened in your life, and the disappointment of your parents not being here, and wish you a very merry Christmas.

    Please stick around and keep chatting here xxxx

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    Mason98  (19-12-2016)

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    I'm nearly 44 and my family live in Ireland and I feel sad every Xmas that I'm not with them. You are doing an amazing job to be so upbeat and strong for your son. I hope you do take up the offer to be with that friend that invited you. Do you normally live with your parents? I can see why you feel a bit abandoned by them. Maybe you just seen so mature to them now you have a child of your own? I 100% was not an adult at 18. Hugs

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    Quote Originally Posted by CazHazKidz View Post
    May I ask what happened to his mother?
    Merry christmas Mason.
    Her parents wouldn't let her keep our son at home, she came to school with him a few hours after she was released from hospital and told me I had to look after him, so I have ever since.
    At first she used to come over every day breast feed him, express milk and generally just spend time, by the time he was 11 months all that stopped, she got a new boyfriend now she doesn't really have anything to do with us unless I see her out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    Do you normally live with your parents? I can see why you feel a bit abandoned by them. Maybe you just seen so mature to them now you have a child of your own? I 100% was not an adult at 18. Hugs
    No they told me once I had him I have to move out and stand on my own 2 feet they helped a lot to get me there. Though I really don't want to live on my own I'm still not ready for it but I have to do it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mason98 View Post
    No they told me once I had him I have to move out and stand on my own 2 feet they helped a lot to get me there. Though I really don't want to live on my own I'm still not ready for it but I have to do it.
    Wow that seems pretty harsh to me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mason98 View Post
    No they told me once I had him I have to move out and stand on my own 2 feet they helped a lot to get me there. Though I really don't want to live on my own I'm still not ready for it but I have to do it.
    Do you have a good support network? Did you need one?

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    Do you have a good support network? Did you need one?
    I go to a youth group a couple of times a week but that's mainly geared for single mums and I've never really felt welcome there being a guy a couple of them are nice to me but none ever just want to hang out for a bit of company.
    Most of my friends slowly distanced themselves from me, I still see a couple of them, one in particular but none are really interested in coming over on Friday night or whatever and watching the footy or games or something, though not many of them are conversational in sign.
    Hearing again should help when I can get there but that won't be till after the new year.


 
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