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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Wow, thank you everyone for your honesty. I think it's maybe easy to confuse easiest and more alike to us as favourite. I know I probably have

    This really does sum up where I'm at I think.

    I vividly remember bringing DD home after 1 night in hospital and walking up the driveway with so much love in my heart for her. I was sooooo excited I had had a girl (her gender was a surprise) and I was at the time so desperate to have a girl because I have such a great relationship with my mum).

    I also remember looking at her and saying to DH, can we keep her? She was so sweet and innocent and beautiful and perfect.....

    Then I found out exactly what it was like to have a baby an I hated pretty much almost every minute being her mum. I didn't realise at the time but I was suffering PND and PNA.

    The fog cleared in her second year of life and I felt like I could do it all again and got pregnant with DS 4 months later. 2 months before he was born she got to the terrible 2s and had been hard work ever since.

    DS wasn't what you would call an easy baby but he was easier than DD and I was also prepared for what a newborn meant. The tough times dealing with a 2 year old and newborn, I resented her, not DS. I don't know I just feel more connected to DS, like we are kindred spirits. I don't feel like that with DD. Sometimes I just feel like I don't 'get' her and can't connect with her. It comes natural with DS and feels forced with DD.

    I hate myself every single day that I feel that way.
    My first was hard work, and my 2nd baby a breeze in comparison, plus I knew what I was doing second time round so was more confident. I felt more connected to my second child at that point in life and hoped it wasn't favourtism. It wasn't, though. It was just that difficult patch of raising a difficult child. I get equal joy out of spending time with all my kids. Just give it time.

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  3. #32
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    Nope I don't. I love my kids for different reasons - DD is so intellectual and nerdy, DS1 has the kindest, gentle heart and DS2 is his father's clone personality wise lol I find I relate to them in different ways but that doesn't mean I favour or enjoy one child more than the other.

    My mother favours my brother. She'd deny it but she does and it's pretty obvious. Kids aren't stupid and nor am I, it really hurts TBH.

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  5. #33
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    I don't have a favourite, but they have polar opposite personalities and it's sometimes easier to connect with one more than the other depending on who is doing what at the time.

    In terms of my siblings, my mum has never had a favourite, though it could feel like it at times.
    As an adult, I can now see that it's that we all have different personalities; one sibling is really easy going and their relationship has never required any effort. My other sibling has had a few more hurdles to overcome and is the kind of gentle natured personality that feels everything so deeply, so they have always needed more reassurance. I am more like a sister with my mum, as we can argue like no tomorrow and clash, but we're best friends and confide in eachother.

    It's not really obvious, and it's not as though he treats my siblings different, as such, but I'd say I'm probably my Dad's favourite. He's a really quiet person and doesn't talk about much, but we've always had a connection. He's the person that I talk to about things when I don't want judgement or 20 questions, and I can get him to talk more than anyone else.

  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    That's awful. So heartbreaking. I was in a shop one day and the woman that worked there was so open to me (I was there with my children) about how her son was her favourite and her daughters knew it. She kept asking me which one was my favourite. She kept insisting I had to have a favourite. It was so bizarre. I really felt for her daughters, who were obviously constantly living in her their brother's shadow.
    I remember a thread like this ages ago and someone insisting that everyone has a favourite but just won't admit it. Urrrmmm no, I really don't.

    Also interesting a few people saying that others have said the eldest is the favourite. I was the eldest but my mother favours the youngest.

  7. #35
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    My DS is the youngest and I feel more connected to him and at ease around him.

    I actually thought it was usually younger siblings that appeared to be 'favourite' or at least easier and more easy going.

    Perhaps when they're both at least 8 and 6 and both out of the toddler and preschool stage they will even out a bit and I'll find out who they really are and better ways to deal with their individual personalities.

  8. #36
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    I had a better initial bond with DD2 but that had more to do with my mental state. I love both girls but DD2 is the easier one. I should probably stop calling her Angel baby.

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  10. #37
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    Absolutely.
    I have two kids. DS 6yrs and DD 8yrs.

    I absolutely have a favorite but it changes. Last week DD was my fav but this week DS is.

  11. #38
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    Gosh I hope my kids don't think I have a favourite. I always thought my mum favoured my brother, but now as an adult I think it's more just that he was "the baby".

    I actually find my child that is most like me, the hardest to get along with! Whereas I really admire my most challenging child, she is so outgoing and fiesty and just not like me.

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  13. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    I actually find my child that is most like me, the hardest to get along with! Whereas I really admire my most challenging child, she is so outgoing and fiesty and just not like me.
    DS1 is most like me and the hardest to get along with. We're both very stubborn and want things to be the way WE want them. I was apparently a very challenging child, so I guess it's karma, lol 😅 I love all of those things about him, but gosh it's tiring...

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  15. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I'm wondering if people have a favourite child.

    Or do you have a child you feel more connected to?

    If so, why? If not, why?

    If you do, do you think it comes out in your parenting and if so, do you try and over compensate with the non-favourite(s) or have to hold back with your favourite?

    Are you a child who had parents who did favour you or a sibling over the other(s)? Was it just as a child or now as an adult too. How did / does that make you feel?

    Do you think birth order and / or gender makes a difference to if there is a favourite?

    Sorry there's so many questions, but I find this topic quite interesting.
    No neither dh or I have a favourite child. They are all special and lucky to be here. All 3 are treated the same. Dh's mum openly admits to her oldest being her favourite, he developed alopecia when he was 6 months old and she has favoured him ever since as she felt sorry for him and has babied him forever and not allowed him to do a single thing for himself which he is quite capable of doing. Dh and I agreed we wouldn't have favourites and each would be treated equal. They all get our love and attention and dh and I both have good relationships with each. I don't think either of us have more in common with one child or the other etc.


 
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