My first was hard work, and my 2nd baby a breeze in comparison, plus I knew what I was doing second time round so was more confident. I felt more connected to my second child at that point in life and hoped it wasn't favourtism. It wasn't, though. It was just that difficult patch of raising a difficult child. I get equal joy out of spending time with all my kids. Just give it time.
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19-12-2016 07:50 #31
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19-12-2016 08:02 #32
Nope I don't. I love my kids for different reasons - DD is so intellectual and nerdy, DS1 has the kindest, gentle heart and DS2 is his father's clone personality wise lol I find I relate to them in different ways but that doesn't mean I favour or enjoy one child more than the other.
My mother favours my brother. She'd deny it but she does and it's pretty obvious. Kids aren't stupid and nor am I, it really hurts TBH.
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A-Squared (19-12-2016)
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19-12-2016 08:06 #33
I don't have a favourite, but they have polar opposite personalities and it's sometimes easier to connect with one more than the other depending on who is doing what at the time.
In terms of my siblings, my mum has never had a favourite, though it could feel like it at times.
As an adult, I can now see that it's that we all have different personalities; one sibling is really easy going and their relationship has never required any effort. My other sibling has had a few more hurdles to overcome and is the kind of gentle natured personality that feels everything so deeply, so they have always needed more reassurance. I am more like a sister with my mum, as we can argue like no tomorrow and clash, but we're best friends and confide in eachother.
It's not really obvious, and it's not as though he treats my siblings different, as such, but I'd say I'm probably my Dad's favourite. He's a really quiet person and doesn't talk about much, but we've always had a connection. He's the person that I talk to about things when I don't want judgement or 20 questions, and I can get him to talk more than anyone else.
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19-12-2016 08:06 #34
I remember a thread like this ages ago and someone insisting that everyone has a favourite but just won't admit it. Urrrmmm no, I really don't.
Also interesting a few people saying that others have said the eldest is the favourite. I was the eldest but my mother favours the youngest.
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19-12-2016 08:28 #35
My DS is the youngest and I feel more connected to him and at ease around him.
I actually thought it was usually younger siblings that appeared to be 'favourite' or at least easier and more easy going.
Perhaps when they're both at least 8 and 6 and both out of the toddler and preschool stage they will even out a bit and I'll find out who they really are and better ways to deal with their individual personalities.
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19-12-2016 09:37 #36
I had a better initial bond with DD2 but that had more to do with my mental state. I love both girls but DD2 is the easier one. I should probably stop calling her Angel baby.
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A-Squared (19-12-2016)
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19-12-2016 10:05 #37
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Absolutely.
I have two kids. DS 6yrs and DD 8yrs.
I absolutely have a favorite but it changes. Last week DD was my fav but this week DS is.
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19-12-2016 14:46 #38
Gosh I hope my kids don't think I have a favourite. I always thought my mum favoured my brother, but now as an adult I think it's more just that he was "the baby".
I actually find my child that is most like me, the hardest to get along with! Whereas I really admire my most challenging child, she is so outgoing and fiesty and just not like me.
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19-12-2016 15:22 #39
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19-12-2016 17:37 #40
No neither dh or I have a favourite child. They are all special and lucky to be here. All 3 are treated the same. Dh's mum openly admits to her oldest being her favourite, he developed alopecia when he was 6 months old and she has favoured him ever since as she felt sorry for him and has babied him forever and not allowed him to do a single thing for himself which he is quite capable of doing. Dh and I agreed we wouldn't have favourites and each would be treated equal. They all get our love and attention and dh and I both have good relationships with each. I don't think either of us have more in common with one child or the other etc.
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