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  1. #21
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    Depends on my mood lol

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  3. #22
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    Wow, thank you everyone for your honesty. I think it's maybe easy to confuse easiest and more alike to us as favourite. I know I probably have
    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    Not exactly a favourite.
    I find it so much easier to interact positively with one of my kids than the other. With one child I've felt like we're fighting each other just about since birth. With the other, I feel so much more relaxed.
    This really does sum up where I'm at I think.

    I vividly remember bringing DD home after 1 night in hospital and walking up the driveway with so much love in my heart for her. I was sooooo excited I had had a girl (her gender was a surprise) and I was at the time so desperate to have a girl because I have such a great relationship with my mum).

    I also remember looking at her and saying to DH, can we keep her? She was so sweet and innocent and beautiful and perfect.....

    Then I found out exactly what it was like to have a baby an I hated pretty much almost every minute being her mum. I didn't realise at the time but I was suffering PND and PNA.

    The fog cleared in her second year of life and I felt like I could do it all again and got pregnant with DS 4 months later. 2 months before he was born she got to the terrible 2s and had been hard work ever since.

    DS wasn't what you would call an easy baby but he was easier than DD and I was also prepared for what a newborn meant. The tough times dealing with a 2 year old and newborn, I resented her, not DS. I don't know I just feel more connected to DS, like we are kindred spirits. I don't feel like that with DD. Sometimes I just feel like I don't 'get' her and can't connect with her. It comes natural with DS and feels forced with DD.

    I hate myself every single day that I feel that way.

  4. #23
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    Default Discuss: Do you have a favourite child?

    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Wow, thank you everyone for your honesty. I think it's maybe easy to confuse easiest and more alike to us as favourite. I know I probably have

    This really does sum up where I'm at I think.

    I vividly remember bringing DD home after 1 night in hospital and walking up the driveway with so much love in my heart for her. I was sooooo excited I had had a girl (her gender was a surprise) and I was at the time so desperate to have a girl because I have such a great relationship with my mum).

    I also remember looking at her and saying to DH, can we keep her? She was so sweet and innocent and beautiful and perfect.....

    Then I found out exactly what it was like to have a baby an I hated pretty much almost every minute being her mum. I didn't realise at the time but I was suffering PND and PNA.

    The fog cleared in her second year of life and I felt like I could do it all again and got pregnant with DS 4 months later. 2 months before he was born she got to the terrible 2s and had been hard work ever since.

    DS wasn't what you would call an easy baby but he was easier than DD and I was also prepared for what a newborn meant. The tough times dealing with a 2 year old and newborn, I resented her, not DS. I don't know I just feel more connected to DS, like we are kindred spirits. I don't feel like that with DD. Sometimes I just feel like I don't 'get' her and can't connect with her. It comes natural with DS and feels forced with DD.

    I hate myself every single day that I feel that way.
    Hugs @A-Squared. I really disliked dd1 after dd2 was born. We have similar "high spirited" girls lol. She was soo much more hard work (still is) compared with dd2.

    I think the difference for me is I kind of outgrew that dislike. And as DH always sides with and looks after dd2 I take over the role of sticking up for dd1 iykwim? It's funny, DH will play with dd2 and I play with dd1- so I'm not building that much of a closeness/bond/dependence with dd2 like I have with dd1. For me it's not a favouritism thing but trying to be fair. I think that's why dd1 and I are so tight despite her being a royal pita at times.

    I often wonder what things would be like with a boy and a girl instead- but I'm so very grateful for the two girls tbh so it takes that worry of favouring one sex out of the equation.

    It's normal a-squared to have a connection better than another. It's how you deal with it though. Hugs xxx
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 18-12-2016 at 20:45.

  5. #24
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    Growing up my parents favoured me as I was the youngest there was a 9 yr gap to my brother and 5.5yrs to my sister. My brother passed when I was 9 and my sister moved to Sydney and now NY when I was 15 (24yrs ago) so essentially I grew up alone and I'm the only one here for my folks plus my kids are the grandkids they have the closest bond with ESP DS1 he gave them both a new lease on life when he was born

    As for a fav for myself. DS1 was all I had for 9 yrs until DS2 came along 5 months ago. They are both equally loved to bits and I spend time with each of them alone and together. DS1 I had to survive mentally, emotionally and physically to keep going and I feel he made me to do that with the circumstances I was under.

    Both the boys are challenging at the best of times. DS1 is a tween and embarking on bodily changes and hormones that he can't control and DS2 can be extremely unsettled and never want to sleep when he has to

  6. #25
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    I have one biological child and two stepchildren. DD is my favourite of course. I love my stepkids, but it's not the same as my own child. Not necessarily because I gave birth to her but because I've been there from day one and i'm her mama my DSSs already have a mum and don't me to fill that role.
    I do switch favourites between my DSSs though. DSS1 is generally the smart easy going kid who everyone loves and is often my favourite. He is starting to get a bit 'teenager-ish' so he may lose the spot as favourite DSS! DSS2 can be quite difficult and it's easy to get very frustrated with him. I try not to let it show, but he honestly drives me bonkers sometimes. At other times he can be the sweetest child. I think he may have ADD or something similar. I've mentioned it gently to DF before but I think he didn't really want to hear what I was saying. I feel pretty sorry for DSS2 and annoyed at myself for getting so annoyed with him and overcompensate so it probably appears to everyone that he is the favourite. DSS1 is def DF's favourite so I often side with DSS2 to balance things out. Since DD was born I pay far less attention to DSS2 and have less patience for him. Agh - I feel really bad about that.

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  8. #26
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    I don't have a favourite. Sometimes I find one child more difficult than another for that particular moment, but it changes all the time, lol. I feel connected equally to my children in different ways.

    My oldest is definitely an overall 'easy' child. Since birth she has slept really well,she's a great eater, there are very few 'battles' with her. She can be defiant and argumentative at times, and does some silly things, but she is generally a really lovely girl.

    My 2nd is a firecracker. She lives life at 1 or 10, & not much in between. She has been difficult since the day she was born She has SPD & throws a lot of tamtrums and has some generally challenging behaviours. She's hard work. BUT she is also the very most empathetic, kind-hearted, lovable child you will ever meet When she is sweet, she is sweet as pie.

    My 3rd child is a snuggler. She loves her mummy, she just wants to cuddle me and be with me. She can be strong willed at times, but is mostly a really easygoing child almost all the time. Crap eater though, & has been my worst sleeper.

    So even though I see the good and bad in each of my children, I absolutely love them all, equally, just for who they are. I appreciate who they are. I love their unique personalities & I wouldnt change anything about them

  9. #27
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    My mum has two children my brother and me with a four year gap.
    I'm the favourite she has good relationships with both. It's obvious we're best friends though and we spend a lot of time together .

  10. #28
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    Default Discuss: Do you have a favourite child?

    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    No I don't have a favourite.

    My parents did and still do favour my older sister. It is hell growing up knowing your parents prefer to spend their time with your sibling.

    It hurt. A lot. It still does. It did a lot of damage to my relationship with my sister. We are very close now but it took until adulthood for us to get past it.

    So no I don't have a favourite. I would never do that to my children.
    Absolutely this ^^^

    I remember calling my parents out on their favouritism and my fathers response... "When you have children, you'll understand why the oldest will always come first"

    Well, I have 3 and I still don't get it
    Last edited by yadot; 18-12-2016 at 22:25.

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  12. #29
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    I totally have a favourite child!

    But he's also my only one!

  13. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by yadot View Post
    Absolutely this ^^^

    I remember calling my parents out on their favouritism and my fathers response... "When you have children, you'll understand why the oldest will always come first"

    Well, I have 3 and I still don't get it
    That's awful. So heartbreaking. I was in a shop one day and the woman that worked there was so open to me (I was there with my children) about how her son was her favourite and her daughters knew it. She kept asking me which one was my favourite. She kept insisting I had to have a favourite. It was so bizarre. I really felt for her daughters, who were obviously constantly living in her their brother's shadow.

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