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  1. #21
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    AdornedWithCats is online now Winner 2013 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Yes, I think so. It's completely changed my life (for the better).

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    Yes x 1000. My kids give my life so much more than i could of ever imagined.

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    I think, for me, Little Miss Sunshine and gingermillie have articulated it quite well. DH and I had to do IVF to fall pregnant, it was a big struggle and every day I look at DD and I feel so grateful and blessed that I have her. I love her more than anything else in the world, she brings me so much joy and now that I have her, I would never want to not have her. BUT. I do sometimes feel that I lost myself a bit when I became a mum, and that's hard.

    And the day I gave birth was so not the best day of my life! The moment I got to see DD for the first time is up there as one of my best moments, but the day itself? I'd pick just about any other day of my life over that!

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  5. #24
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    I was really considering my answer with this one. Part of me says no, it really isn't, and some days its been the worst thing I've ever done, for me and if I'm honest for them.
    But then I consider my life without them and really don't particularly want it.

    I think if anything, the person I had kids with is possibly the worst thing I've ever done some days. We're separated, I'm lonely and miserable and feel like the actual raising of our kids is entirely on me and that I struggle to get him to be an active part of their lives. I really dread the day they realise how much effort and work I've had to put in for them because then their Dad will stop being their hero and I think that will break their hearts beyond what I can repair. I really think it would be easier overall, make them and me happier and make my view of being a mother and parent if he did just vanish and it would become better.

    So overall, it's pretty up there. But not the best because I struggle to define something as the best that I didn't work for to get that sense of achievement. Maybe when they're older and happy and healthy, then having them will have been the best thing I've ever done.

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  7. #25
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    I'd say it's the hardest, the biggest commitment and one of the most rewarding things I've done. I wouldn't say the best.

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  9. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    I'd say it's the hardest, the biggest commitment and one of the most rewarding things I've done. I wouldn't say the best.
    I hear the word rewarding being used a lot when it comes to parenting.

    I'm not sure if I don't understand what it is or if I just don't feel it's rewarding to me.

    Rewarding means getting something out of something. But I'm not sure what I get out of being a parent. Tired, stressed, frustrated, angry, sad.... Nothing positive really springs to mind.

    You know what I probably need to get back to the GP or psych as I'm feeling in a bad place right now and really negative. Sorry everyone

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    @A-Squared, huge hugs. I hope you can work through the darkness and find the light again. Don't ever apologise for how you're feeling. Parenting is a tough gig, and I bet there are times even the people who feel the most amazing about being parents don't feel particularly rewarded by parenting. I definitely have periods where I don't feel rewarded. And you know what, getting that sense of achievement and reward from somewhere else is ok, and normal. I'm not going to be able to be a SAHM long term. I don't want to go back to work full time any time soon, but I need to find something else to give me a sense of achievement as well. But, in terms of parenting I feel rewarded in the sense that I know that DS trusts me to always be there for him (and this is pretty big for me - I feel so guilty over how I was in the thick of PND, and how I get when my anxiety is high, so knowing that he still has that trust in me is hugely important to me), he feels loved and is cared for, when I get spontaneous cuddles and/or kisses (doesn't happen often - he's not very snuggly), when I get his special cheeky little grin, when I hear him laugh with sheer joy, and when I see how much he is learning, and how empathetic he already is. I'm sure as he gets older there will be more to add to it. I also love seeing the world through his eyes... though I wouldn't class that as rewarding per se.

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  13. #28
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    Big hugs @A-Squared I'm seeing the psych tomorrow for the first time since having kids. Had untreated anxiety after possum and it's back again now. If I can do it you can too xx

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    Hugs to those doing it tough. I've been through it and it's awfully hard at times xxxx

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    I have been trying to work out how to answer this question.

    Im wondering if when the kids and I are older I will look back and say yes. But now that I am in the thick of it I dont think I can answer it on a positive note.

    Dd I had pnd pretty much the minute she was born and now she is 7 I still find it hard to have an attchment and much enjoyment with her.
    Ds well he is a toddler and I find this age hard. Constant tantrums drive me batty.

    If I had my time again I really dont know if I would have kids, but I wouldnt give the two I have up for anything.
    And when they are playing nicely and laughing it does put a smile on my face.

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