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    Default Discuss: is having kids the best thing you've ever done?

    So, in the interests of starting a discussion thread :

    If you've been lucky enough to have kids (and i know lots of people on here struggle with this), do you think it's the best thing you've ever done?

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    Its funny, I was only thinking this morning about the incredible joy my daughter has brought to my life - and how much better my life is because I have her.

    (Family stuff got me thinking about this, and what my life would have been like if I didnt have her)

    I love her so much, and she is everything to me.

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    Yep, even despite the struggles parenting has put me through, my little girl lights up my life. I get so much joy from seeing things through her eyes like fireworks or a concert. Having her was absolutely the best thing we've ever done.

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    I'm not sure how to answer this to be honest. Best thing I've ever done? If I look at it like if I took away children from my life, and thought about other things I've 'done' and taken that away, what would be the worst thing I couldn't bare (or is it bear!?) to take away, yes I would say kids is the best thing I've ever done.

    However, I don't like to define myself as living to have kids and start a family. So I think in some ways I feel like me saying they are the best thing I've ever done puts me in this light.

    But on the flip side I feel like if I said they aren't the best thing I've ever done, then I sound uncaring, that I shouldn't have bothered having kids and perhaps a little bit selfish.

    So hmm, I'm not sure exactly how I feel.

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    @A-Squared - perfectly put. I was thinking along those lines and not sure how to express myself. So now I'll just say 'what she said'

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    Hmmm...
    I have done heaps of amazing things, bringing tiny humans into the world is one of them.

    Is it the best thing?
    I don't think it can compete or be compared to anything else. It is a stand alone part of my existence, nothing else comes close.

    I will honestly say it is far harder than I thought it would be. The emotional cost is inconceivable.

    And I thought I would be better at it...

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    @A-Squared I think I'm a little in the same boat.
    DS brings so much joy to DH and I. And also I think he's brought my family closer together in some ways.
    But I never wanted to be defined as only living to have kids.
    On the flip side, I'm not sure I've done anything truly amazing in any other aspect of my life so maybe DS is my greatest achievement. But he's only two. I wonder if I'll feel more like that when he's grown up, hopefully into a decent human, with a happy and positive life, achieving what he wants - then maybe I'll feel more like that.
    Can I imagine life without him now? Absolutely not.
    I know every day just how lucky we were to fall pregnant straight away and to have a healthy little boy.

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    Default Discuss: is having kids the best thing you've ever done?

    To simplify -

    Is it the best thing I've done in terms of achievement/making the right decision? Yes . I'm immensely proud of my girls and they fill me with love. I would die for them without question. They give my life purpose and meaning. I look forward to the future and watching them grow.

    Is it the best thing I've done in terms of enjoyment/happiness? No. I had a lot more fun and was overall happier/less tired and stressed before kids. I don't enjoy all the responsibility that comes with motherhood- and I don't enjoy doing all the "mum" things half as much as I imagined.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 18-12-2016 at 12:52.

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    Default Discuss: is having kids the best thing you've ever done?

    Another thing I struggle to understand is when women refer to giving birth as "the best day of my life". Sure, it's an amazing, life changing experience, but the "best" day?

    Nope.

    The best day of my life is the day I got my licence, drove to the beach with some girlfriends, then came home and had a party with all my friends.
    In fact there were MANY other better days then being in hospital, in the throes of labour and squeezing a baby out my vagina.

    Sorry.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    Another thing I struggle to understand is when women refer to giving birth as "the best day of my life". Sure, it's an amazing, life changing experience, but the "best" day?

    Nope.

    The best day of my life is the day I got my licence, drove to the beach with some girlfriends, then came home and had a party with all my friends.
    In fact there were MANY other better days then being in hospital, in the throes of labour and squeezing a baby out my vagina.

    Sorry.
    I have a friend who openly says that the day(s) she was in labour and gave birth were the worst days of her life. She doesn't feel she had a traumatic birth experience, but she still feels this was. And is completely unapologetic about saying so. I don't understand why we (society general we) feel horrified when someone says this. Sure, for some people it is an amazing experience. Is it so hard to believe that for others it isn't, and is in fact rather, well, horrible.

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