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  1. #21
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    I would say your Dr isn't familiar with carriers.
    As for washing...we changed our system thanks to another hubber and it works so well for us at the end of the day! So basically each person has a washing 'day.' So oldest child has clothes washed on a Sunday, Mine on a Mon etc. We have a towels day and a sheets day...what it means is that at the end of the day it takes 5 minutes to fold and put away because you don't have to sort through clothes and then put away in all the different rooms. Dh and I wash our clothes together twice a week cause our clothes don't stretch for a full week...but it still works really well.

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  3. #22
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    I had anxiety when I had a 2 year old and newborn. Some things I did that helped were: have a floor sponge to wipe up dirty spots each day rather than waiting to mop. Invest in a cordless vacuum. Get good at quick wipe overs of bathroom so it feels clean. Set a routine for meals/ snacks so you're not constantly in the kitchen (that's for both you and toddler). Let toddler have screen time when you really need to feed/settle baby. I hope this helps... you'll get there, I promise x

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  5. #23
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    Can you get a second washing machine so you can have 2 loads on the go? We have a second machine which is for messy things like dog beds etc. THat machine is in the garage.

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  7. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    I would say your Dr isn't familiar with carriers.
    As for washing...we changed our system thanks to another hubber and it works so well for us at the end of the day! So basically each person has a washing 'day.' So oldest child has clothes washed on a Sunday, Mine on a Mon etc. We have a towels day and a sheets day...what it means is that at the end of the day it takes 5 minutes to fold and put away because you don't have to sort through clothes and then put away in all the different rooms. Dh and I wash our clothes together twice a week cause our clothes don't stretch for a full week...but it still works really well.
    That is a fantastic idea!!!

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  9. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    I would say your Dr isn't familiar with carriers.
    As for washing...we changed our system thanks to another hubber and it works so well for us at the end of the day! So basically each person has a washing 'day.' So oldest child has clothes washed on a Sunday, Mine on a Mon etc. We have a towels day and a sheets day...what it means is that at the end of the day it takes 5 minutes to fold and put away because you don't have to sort through clothes and then put away in all the different rooms. Dh and I wash our clothes together twice a week cause our clothes don't stretch for a full week...but it still works really well.
    I'm so glad this system is working for another family! This system was literally game changer here in our house for washing, I'd never go back to mixed loads, so so easy!

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  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsIsMe View Post
    I'm so glad this system is working for another family! This system was literally game changer here in our house for washing, I'd never go back to mixed loads, so so easy!
    I am so glad you posted...I couldn't remember who said they did this...it is soooo brilliant. I can't believe I had never heard of it until you posted. We love it, and because my kids are older I just dump their clothes on their beds at the end of the day and they fold and put away without complaint...they hated doing it before when it was everyone's washing, but they don't care when it is just theirs.

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  13. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    That is a fantastic idea!!!
    Get on it...it's brilliant. You'll never go back. We just bought some more underwear for the kids to get them through...DH and I will get to the point where we can wash ours once a week, and then we'll either have a day off washing, or use it to wash randoms (stained clothes that need soaking, or that extra load of towels that we have in summer). I don't know why more people don't do it. My older kids deliver their clothes hamper to the washing machine the night before, I wash it, and hang out in morning, they put it away. It also gives you a clear idea as to what each person is wearing each week...I have one child who goes through an excessive amount of clothes, and we've been able to get that a bit more under control with the new system because it became really obvious.

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  15. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    Ok I'm not coping. I have DS2 (4) and DS3 (4 months) at home full time. Yesterday I ate half a piece of cold toast and drank a can of Pepsi. I had not water at all, I was so dehydrated by the time DH got home - but honestly the day was such a blur I didn't realise.

    The house is a disaster, the table is covered in folding, the laundry is full of washing to be done. I'm in full post partum hair loss mode so my hair is everywhere as I haven't vacuumed since I can't remember when. There are ants everywhere because I haven't cleaned the kitchen properly and DS2 has been helping himself to food while I'm perma feeding DS3. It's a bad time we are in leap 4 and he had his needles on Monday. I have no one to come over and help out. I have no child care and it's not an option anyway because we don't qualify for CCR or CCB and can't afford full fees.

    So what do you do? How do you cope? Don't tell me to forget the house - It's a major stressor for me and I can't handle the mess and dirt.

    What are your tips? My mum will be here on Saturday but she is 73 and has congestive heart failure. I really need the house to be tidy before she gets here or she will wear herself out helping.

    Help

    Hello,

    Sorry to hear that you're struggling. You're certainly not alone. I know in my parenting journey I've had times of feeling completely overwhelmed and out of control. Many years ago I had four children under five and now I have eight children, with two of them under three.

    Here's some things I have found helpful. Without knowing you personally and without knowing your housing situation (ie unit/house with yard), here's some ideas:

    Prioritising is crucial. I think you're basically in survival mode when you have a 4 month old and a toddler. It's just so busy! So, what are the things that must be done and what are the things that can wait?

    Washing can't wait.
    1) You could put a load on in the afternoon and hang it out at night.
    2) Load your machine up at night and put it on first thing in the morning (or use the timer function on your machine if it's got one).
    3) If you've got a clotheline in the backyard, hang out your washing while your littlies have some outside time (I'll talk more about outside time)

    Folding
    Sorry, but don't have any suggestions for that. I can't keep on top of mine. In fact I have three baskets full in my bedroom right now. You know what, though - the clothes are clean and ready for use! My only suggestion is to find a spot in the house where you can keep your baskets of folding hidden away - maybe a cupboard, walk in robe, spot in the laundry. That way it won't bother you as much. Otherwise, they can add to the feel of a messy house.

    Routine
    I've always been big on having some type of routine for my littlies. It's always involved some playtime on their own in a bedroom/room after brekky. Then after cleaning up there's some outside time. Back in for lunch and then a nap or quiet time/reading time (not that they can read) on their bed. Arvo tea in front of some ABC kids and then daddy's home. Phew!

    Feeding
    I chose to cut out morning tea, have lunch at 11/11:30 and just offer afternoon tea after the nap (just a way of cutting back the amount of time in the kitchen - and they've never gone hungry). And, they all eat at the same time (babies excluded until their solids are starting to line up with the rest of us). Will your 4 year old sit in the highchair or up at the table while you make lunch? You could give him a puzzle to keep him happy while you make his and your lunch.

    Outside time
    I've always valued outside time for my kids. Have you got things your 4 year old can do outside? Sandpit, water table. A tramp with a net. He can do playdough, painting (when you feel up to tackling the mess). You can supervise the outside time while you hang out washing (bub could be in a bouncer or sitting on a blanket with some toys). That way you're working your chores into your day with your children.

    Feeding baby
    For the sake of your sanity and clean kitchen, can you put a child lock onto your pantry door to stop your 4 year old from helping himself to food?

    House
    I'm not going to tell you to forget your house. I feel the same way. I just don't feel like I can function properly in a messy house. As a stay at home mum your home is your workplace. You need it tidy in order to do your job well. Perhaps, just in this season of life, you need to distinguish between tidy and clean. For me, tidy means no mess and clean means that the shower has been cleaned and scrubbed and the floors have all been vacuumed and mopped etc.

    Maybe for now just aim for tidy. Are you fairly organised? Is it easy for your four year old to put toys back where they belong? Are other areas of the house fairly organised so it's easy to put things back. As my mum would say - a place for everything and everything in its place.

    Only clean what is a must - toilet weekly, kitchen/dining floor mopped weekly? Shower can wait - fortnightly or monthly depending on mould build up. Kitchen benches and sink gets wiped over constantly just in day to day living. Bathroom sink and bath can wait - fortnightly or beyond. You can even get those handy little mops that you don't actually dip into a bucket of water - you just spray some cleaning stuff onto the floor and wipe over with the moppy thing. I actually keep mine beside the fridge and have the spray bottle in the kitchen (just with cleaning vinegar and water in it) as it's handy for spot cleans.

    If you can learn to overlook the some of the cleaning and aim for tidy then it will help you get through this busy time. If allergies are a problem, then that will make it difficult as cleaning then does become a priority. For that, I can only agree with other suggestions of getting cleaner once a fortnight.

    As for your mum's visit, I'm sure she will understand if your house is not sparkly clean. Remember just aim for tidy. I've got friends that think my house is so clean when in reality it is just that it's tidy. My feet can literally be sticking to my kitchen floor, but they still think it's soooo clean! When I've got visitors I just focus on tidy, clean the loo, quick wipe over bathroom sink and bench. If you have to do floors just stick with the dirtiest areas - kitchen and dining?

    Anyway, I'd best go back to my mob. I've written an essay - oopos! Hope it helps.

    All the best!
    Last edited by williamson10; 14-12-2016 at 20:04.

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  17. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsIsMe View Post
    I'm so glad this system is working for another family! This system was literally game changer here in our house for washing, I'd never go back to mixed loads, so so easy!
    I didn't know anyone was washing their clothes together, I've always washed everyone's clothes separately! Works well.
    Last edited by bezzy; 14-12-2016 at 22:38.

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  19. #30
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    You're in the trenches mumma! It's not easy.

    The baby carrier thing would be hard for me too cause I wear my baby a lot of the day to get stuff done. Is he too little to sit in a highchair with toys?

    What helps me, as much as I hate it, is a morning and evening routine (mainly for chores/housework). It only works if I stick to it, and also if I stick to meal planning and shop once a week.

    As well as this, I try to be home by about 4ish so I can get dinner ready early before witching hour, or if im home i cook dinner at lunchtime. Bring in washing etc.

    I throw a load of washing in the machine every night and either set the timer or put it on as soon as I wake, then hang it. I also do the same washing system, hubby's work shirts once a week, 3 x kids clothes, towels and sheets once a week, my clothes, undies and socks. On a tuesday I do all the extra loads I need to catch up. Any folding that still isn't away, I do it on that morning. A load of washing every day can be a pain but if you bring it in in the arvo, fold and put away while watching TV it's quick. I also hang shirts on hangers on the line, so much quicker.

    If you can, pack yourself lunch ever night, along with your DS. Even if is just cut up fruit, cheese and crackers. Then you just have to grab a box and you can eat straight away. So important for you to eat well, us mums often neglect ourselves I know I do. Don't give up
    Sleep for chores.

    When the house feels overwhelming and you want to cry, just pick one room. Just spend half an hour getting one room or bit of the housw sorted, it makes you feel better.

    Also let me know if I can help!!

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