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  1. #31
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    Default WWYD about grandparents going overboard with gifts

    I get your frustration holly. I have a similar but different issue in that my MIL continues to give cash for the kids as presents instead of toys- being 3 and 1 they just enjoy having a surprise and the joy of something to unwrap! They don't even understand money at all and I sure as hell don't want to do the shopping for her after the event.

    Totally understand your fear of raising spoilt kids!!! My kids want for nothing too and it worries me they don't really appreciate what they have. I recently helped dd1 cull a heap of toys to give to charity- it helped clear the crap and teaches dd1 to help others in need.

    I think the issue is having your request ignored. You need to have your DH speak up. And yes, I'd be putting gifts aside (I've occasionally done this if I feel they have become to overwhelmed or over it) for a rainy day. And tell her this.

    Just remind yourself it won't be forever- you can push the charity/experience aspect down the track and they will be much harder to buy for as they get older.

    Damn MILs!!!!
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 13-12-2016 at 05:46.

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  3. #32
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    Actually I recently saw on FB a fantastic idea about getting letters as presents and put in a time capsule to open when they turn 18. I thought this was a great idea.

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  5. #33
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    Default WWYD about grandparents going overboard with gifts

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    With all the things in the world bothering me I would let this one be. My idea of Christmas isn't always the same as someone else's - even though my way is right (of course!) it is not the only way.

    There are worse things a grandmother can do than but a kid too many gifts at Chrissie (such as looking after your kids 2 nights every week so you can relax with hubby).
    Glad to see you would let something go
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 13-12-2016 at 06:08.

  6. #34
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    Why don't you say hey instead of spending so much money on toys could u save some money for some flights home? I'm not sure on your current $$ but she might feel more involved then? Or say can you come for a trip? Be blunt.

    My mil doesn't really buy things this year is first time she has and I literally almost died. She went from nothing from newborn to-4yo to giving us $200 each to kids to buy them something (we are interstate too) I thought was excessive but I actually paid bills

  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by monnie24 View Post
    Why don't you say hey instead of spending so much money on toys could u save some money for some flights home? I'm not sure on your current $$ but she might feel more involved then? Or say can you come for a trip? Be blunt.

    My mil doesn't really buy things this year is first time she has and I literally almost died. She went from nothing from newborn to-4yo to giving us $200 each to kids to buy them something (we are interstate too) I thought was excessive but I actually paid bills
    We are back in March for a visit and she was just here in August, we also invited her for Christmas but she didn't want to come. Affording flights isn't really an issue for either of us, for DH and I it's more about time and the fact that we also have to fly to the states to visit my family. She's paying for our rental car while we are back as 'our present.'

  8. #36
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    Can I just say, I'm not saying she can't buy them gifts, she regularly does throughout the year and I don't say anything. I didn't say anything when I asked if she could grab a playschool DVD before she visited and she showed up with 5. I didn't say anything when I asked if she could check out cotton on/bonds/country road/seed for anything cute and she showed up with 7 pairs of pants for ds1. Plus she showed up with toys. I didn't say anything when she wanted to buy ds1 a ridiculously expensive not age appropriate gift 'for christmas' while she was visiting. She seemed excited about it so I kept my mouth shut. But for Christmas, when other grandparents, friends, aunts and uncles, us, and Santa will all be giving gifts, PLUS it's his birthday in a month when she will buy more...I think it's pretty reasonable for me to ask her to reign it in and have that respected.

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  10. #37
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    I wonder if it's a distance thing as well. My folks live a 3hr flight away and I know mum makes up for lost time and bonding with gifts.

    It doesn't work imo but it makes mum feel better.

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    Default WWYD about grandparents going overboard with gifts

    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    I wonder if it's a distance thing as well. My folks live a 3hr flight away and I know mum makes up for lost time and bonding with gifts.

    It doesn't work imo but it makes mum feel better.
    Possibly. But our nephews live near her and I'm fairly certain she does the same with them. Plus looks after them most weekends

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  13. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by michellead View Post
    Holly I feel you! This became ridiculous with my MIL. Last year MIL bought so much for DS while we were in Aus that she bought us an extra suitcase and paid the excess baggage for us to bring it all back to London - I was furious and DH just said "if thats what they want to do let them..". I just don't want too much 'stuff' and I don't want DS to be ungrateful.
    This year I got the email and sent back strategic 'suggestions' (knowing she will buy all of it). Three things (1 toy, 1 DVD and 1 book) from amazon and then some clothes (patagonia coat / hunter winter boots) that we would have bought DS anyway (I won't wrap the clothes or give them to DS like a 'gift' but it gives her the feeling of having bought "enough").
    Every year she sends a box of bonds goodies (singlets for DS/socks/undies for all of us and maternity stuff for me this year) - that is useful and appreciated very much!
    I have my parents credit card on amazon and ordered DS small scooby doo characters which he wanted and new pillows for all of us.
    Wow! Patagonia coat and hunter boots! I wish my MIL gave the kids presents like this !!! LOL 😆

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    Every year this happens!! Every year the kiddies keep their favourite one and the rest goes to a women's refuge homes and Ronald McDonald house.

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