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  1. #1
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    Default Discuss: Helicopter Parenting

    This is an opinion piece about Carrie Bickmore admitting she let her 9 year old walk to school alone.

    I'm more interested into a discussion about helicopter parenting as the author here is addressing

    http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/par...31f962433330f1

    So are we all helicopter parenting too much? What do you consider helicopter parenting?

  2. #2
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    I am a helicopter parent who is trying hard to let go but I find it so bloody hard.

    I do think helicopter parenting is definitely more of a thing from when I was a kid, but in saying that, when/where I grew up there was never an attempted abduction.
    Where as where I live now with my family (it's a beautiful costal suburb, would be seen as a great place to live) there have been several attempted abductions in the last few months outside the private high schools.

    I can't ignore that. So when my daughter asks if she can walk to school alone or to the park next year it freaks me out!

    I am less of a helicopter parent though when it come to climbing, riding bikes, playing outside etc. I let them run wild during play time but it's the being alone, out of my sight that freaks me out.

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  4. #3
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    When i first became a mum 12 years ago i was a helicopter parent. I was always nervous, stood behind my daughter when she started walking, then climbing, only gave her certain foods so she wouldnt choke (i now know babies can choke on milk ), then my second came along two and a half years later and i was a bit more relaxed but still somewhat helicopter-type..

    Well fast forward to now and i am 4 kids (12, 9, 7 and almost 3) and my parenting ways have changed (for the better) and have done a full 360. Of course i still get nervous but i am far more relaxed and laid-back with a lot of of things to do with parenting.

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  6. #4
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    Everyone is becoming so judgemtal on everyone and voicing it on social media now that sometimes it feels like we have to become helicopter parents incase something happens instead of letting a child learn by falling over when they run or by not letting them have a toy everytime they ask.

    Yes there are horrible people out there but they have always been there we just know more about it because of social media.
    Someone told me they wouldnt let their twins have a rocking horse because they were worried one would get their toes squashed while the other was rocking it.
    We need to let go a little and enjoy life and relax. Acess the risks involved and teach your children about the world not wrap them in bubble wrap.

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  8. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Poppy View Post
    Everyone is becoming so judgemtal on everyone and voicing it on social media now that sometimes it feels like we have to become helicopter parents incase something happens instead of letting a child learn by falling over when they run or by not letting them have a toy everytime they ask.

    Yes there are horrible people out there but they have always been there we just know more about it because of social media.
    Someone told me they wouldnt let their twins have a rocking horse because they were worried one would get their toes squashed while the other was rocking it.
    We need to let go a little and enjoy life and relax. Acess the risks involved and teach your children about the world not wrap them in bubble wrap.
    Agreed.

    Like that crap recommendation about holding your child's hand until they are like 10 or something.

    I'm laid back. I let my kids walk along me, or fall behind or run ahead.

    I let my kids touch hot drinks, get their fingers caught in drawers and doors. They only do it once or twice before they figure it out lol!

    But my concern is being seen as a "irresponsible" parent as opposed to a "relaxed" parent.

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  10. #6
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    I was a little bit helicopter but have relaxed a lot as I noticed it made DS anxious.

    My IL's are terrible helicopter grandparents though and it is affecting DS.

    For example. He wanted to run down their driveway (it is down a hill). It is short. He was in sight the whole time and had room to stop before a ridiculously quiet street.

    He ran once before my IL's freaked him out with 'you'll fall iver/get hit by a car/*insert ridiculous event here*. He would not walk down there anymore. Despite me telling him it was fine.

    Which is why helicopter parenting does not work for us.

    I let him go off in the local Coles/Aldi to get his yoghurt on his own.

    I let him wander through the toy section in the local Myer while I look at something else not far away. Otherwise he gets too anxious.

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  12. #7
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    I'm more laid back but still there in the background. We can't hold our kids hand a forever is my view

    DS wants to walk to school alone. He will be 10 next yr and grade 4. So this term I've started preparing him to go it alone. I'll walk to pick him up and hover about 10m behind him for the walk him. We have 2 route's we can follow. Both have 2 roads to cross 1 of which is directly in front of the school. He can choose to walk through the park to our house or down the ally up the street to my parents house. He's doing ok but drags the chain a bit.

    At his running group I'll chat with one of the parents I know in the club rooms and trust him enough to follow his group.

    Coles I park at the end of the aisle and let him stand with the trolley while I get what I need (so much faster).

    He's slowly learning and I'm letting go a bit.

    I mean when we where kids we roamed the streets during holidays and our parents probably didn't think much about it at all

    Today there is to many books, DVD, advice columists, social media outlets and people that think they know everything about kids and that the sun shines out of their arses and if do the opposite then it's bad parenting

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  14. #8
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    I'm a bit of a helicopter parent and don't plan on changing. I feel part of my role as a parent is to provide a safe and nurturing environment for my kids. Part of ensuring a safe environment is risk assessment and adequate supervision. If I deem the activity to be safe such as playing in sand etc I leave them to it but around roads, play grounds etc I'm a helicopter and proud of it :-)

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  16. #9
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    I just let my youngest child go down to the lake with a new friend's family (aka the friend and dad...not the mum) to catch yabbies without us. We had to introduce ourselves before they took off. I am not a helicopter parent by any stretch...and I'm pretty sure my action today will be largely judged by certain bh members for my choices...but we weren't worried, and our child had a ton of fun. They werr gone for about 20 minutes.
    I think kids walking to school is so individualised dependent on area, no judgement at all from me.
    Last edited by Full House; 12-12-2016 at 15:56.

  17. #10
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    I think sometimes, different paths lead people to become parents and that might impact on whether they are a "helicopter" parent and that can be hard to change. My first son was on the back of a hard road of ttc and recurrent miscarriages, so I'll probably always hover over him because I came so close to not having him. I'm probably too over protective and I wouldn't let him walk to school at 9 years old, but is just the way I am.

    It also depends on your child. My 3.5 year old is a bolter, climber and escape artist and he has little fear or shyness of strangers so I need to be a bit more of a helicopter parent with him, and probably will as he grows up. He's a huge risk taker already.

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