I thought the same as the others - it's 'your' house so you have to pay all the bills yet he refuses to leave? So which is it, he needs to decide. I'm a WAHM and if my husband told me I just sat on my a@se he'd wear his dinner.
I know we often say the mother and child shouldn't have to leave, and you shouldn't. But if he's refusing to leave I would be while you still have some money. Stop paying all the bills and use the $$ for a bond. He's verbally, financially and emotionally abusive. He's a bad father on several levels. He doesn't respect your role. He doesn't contribute financially. He's controlling and vindictive.
Run, don't walk from this relationship Babybee, it's not going to get better, only worse, and you know that. And what happens when your mat leave runs out? You are going to be a lazy c that doesn't earn any money either.
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06-12-2016 23:17 #11
07-12-2016 06:52 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
Do you rent or own? If you rent, is his name on the lease? If it is you need to get it off the lease. If he won't leave and it's your house, then you can call the police and ask for him to be escorted off the premises, or change the locks when he's at work.
This isn't a difficult first 12 months, this is an abusive relationship and he needs to go.
I'm sorry you're going through this again, but please take measures to look after yourself and your children.
07-12-2016 09:16 #13
Thank you for all of your responses. I didn't sleep much at all last night pretty much just laid there awake.
I'm going to my bff today to talk to her as she is home from work today
So will touch base in more detail then
07-12-2016 10:12 #14
Hugs you poor thing.
Would he goto relationship counselling?
I would maybe have a proper sit down with no kids.
7 years is a long time to not share money. I would never excuse the way he speaks to you. I imagine your feeling hurt and that's not nice.
Could it be the business stress? Do you do all book work etc does he feel financially drained/stressed. I would be ****ed if say you earn 80k and had to pay mortgage, car groceries and he only paid for his business. You must be stressed eyeballs! Enjoy your coffee or lunch.
07-12-2016 10:47 #15
Massive hugs x
You have already been given some great advice, and I don't know how realistic this is, but would it help for you to have someone there for support when you ask him to leave? Assuming that's still what you want, of course. He may take it more seriously that way and it also means you have someone there in case things get nasty.
07-12-2016 11:57 #16
Big hugs. I hope your bff offers you some good advice x
07-12-2016 12:01 #17
This is not a relationship. This has nothing to do with your new baby. This is abuse. This is not acceptable and never will be acceptable. Please look for all the support you can find. Is there now a domestic violence hotline or something. ?? A one stop shop for everything related to domestic violence. ? Please make sure you are safe and your little ones are safe. Hugs, maire.
07-12-2016 12:49 #18
I'm sorry this is happening to you, but he needs to be removed from you and your children. Never accept abuse and never make excuses for an abuser.
I wish you strength and conviction in the tough weeks and months ahead and I hope, with your new found freedom, comes confidence and happiness once more.
07-12-2016 13:29 #19
oh my goodness you poor thing.
From your post it sounds to me like you own the house? If this is the case, tell him to leave or you will call the police and have him escorted from the premises. If you are not married/defacto he has no rights to your house, even if he is the father of your child. That doesn't make your house his house. If he won't leave, follow through, BUT I would see if you can stay with family or friends first before you call the police in case he gets angry.
07-12-2016 13:47 #20
Pack his bags for him, leave them on the porch and get the locks changed. Inform the police this is what you will be doing so that if he gets violent there is a record and they will have background.
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