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  1. #1
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    Default Pregnant & alone

    Hi all,
    Just after a bit of non-judgemental advice/support/vent about the situation i am in!
    I have two great children, aged 14 & 11, i work part time and single! Life is generally good.
    Not so long ago, i went out on the town with a few friends for a night out while my children were at there Dads.
    I Met a guy..who turns out i had been chatting to online a few times, Soooo he ended up at mine at the end of the night and we slept together. Condoms were hopeless (im also not on the pill as it caused me problems..i rarely have sex in the first place :/) so we decided i would get morning after pill in the morning and be done with it....well hasn't turned out that way

    When my period was due (i was watching dates as i had taken pill) i had brown spotting thinking, yay i have my period....That was it just the spotting. Something told me to get a test a few days later when my period didnt progress,aching boobs, horrible unmistakable pregnancy nausea.
    WHOHH them two lines come up straight away. I kept looking at it thinking nooo it cant be......Next day after a chat with my doctor, (a meltdown over how the pill has not worked/very confused upset) she gave me options and got the ball rolling for tests to go with whatever decision i make.

    So i contacted the "guy "which i had to do via a long message, as its the only way i knew how to get hold of him. I let him know, and said a decision has to be made..nearly a week later, he replied with nothing but...i dont want it.

    After talking with my mum she advised me of where im at in life,age gaps, would it be a setback, i know she will support me either way. (My Dad..decided not to tell him)
    I started looking into the Termination track because of my mums reaction also my doctors.. and started to make this decision... and the more i looked into it, the more it made me feel sick to the point of anxiety/shaking and heart palpitations at the thought of the procedure and guilt.
    I am just past 6 weeks with all the symptoms and feeling so pregnant...then i start feeling like i should be excited, i have a child growing inside me that wasn't meant to happen,,,but it has!!!!
    I am so confused, of course i could parent alone again although the timing and situation isn't right...is it ever really??
    My older kids Dad and i seperated when youngest was 8 months, we get along well, remarried and had more kids,my kids see him regularly..i know im worried about what people will think, (i live in a small rural town) and how would "the guy" react if i was to parent.
    I didnt hear from the guy after that night, as i ended up giving him the cold shoulder while he was here, as he was asking things like "should i come see you tomorrow or go see this other chick" and "can i come over again later and drink and place few bets even if your kids are here" weird things...after that i decided he wouldnt be someone i would date, a douche really..which is why i made sure i got the morning after pill, he also said good i dont want to be a dad, after i told him i am getting the morning after pill.

    I know no one can make a decision for me, my body, my emotions and feelings..i have been against abortion in the past, also why this decision is so hard...then you really dont know until your put in this position..
    Last edited by 1mizzyx; 05-12-2016 at 10:00.

  2. #2
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    No real advice but couldn't read and run. I guess the only thing I can say is that you need to follow your heart! If you want to keep it, then keep it. Don't let anyone else dictate your decision as you may regret it for the rest of your life

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    1mizzyx  (07-12-2016)

  4. #3
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    I don't want to read and run. Only you can make this choice. Do what you believe is right.

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    1mizzyx  (07-12-2016)

  6. #4
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    Sorry to hear you are in this tough situation I agree with the above, follow your heart as it is 100% your decision. Maybe try and picture your life a year, 5, 10 years from now and think about how you may feel if you decided either way. Good luck with your decision xx

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    1mizzyx  (07-12-2016)

  8. #5
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    I think that abortion should be a decision you should only make if you are 100% certain that's what you want to do.
    Reading your post, it doesn't look like you want to abort this baby. I think it would be a mistake for you. Not that I'm saying abortion is a mistake, it is the best or only real option for some women, but for you, reading your post, I think it would be a mistake.

    Good luck with your decision, I'm certain if you choose to go ahead with this, you will be ok. Either way, you're going to be ok. You got this.

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    1mizzyx  (07-12-2016)

  10. #6
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    You have just spent last 10 Years as a single mum.

    Now you want to do it again? What about your 2 current kids ...that would be my focus personally...getting good employment and maybe finding a suitable partner in the future.

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    1mizzyx  (07-12-2016)

  12. #7
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    I was in a very similar position as you this time last year. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to inbox me.

    All the best

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    1mizzyx  (07-12-2016)

  14. #8
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    Thank you for your replies and time to read this!

    Im aware only i can make this decision, just scared and confused i guess. As this is not a situation i really wanted to be in...but thats life, im generally a positive person!!
    I have looked at the future possibilities, where i am at now and im pretty positive i would cope. My family and children are great and im sure they would soon warm to it and accept it.
    The other option continues to frighten me more sadly


    Butterfly i do have a great steady job that i have had for a long time,i acheived my career goals as a solo mother, the options are there, i have thought about all this.

  15. #9
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    Follow your heart

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    1mizzyx  (07-12-2016)

  17. #10
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    @1mizzyx you sound like an amazingly strong person... I think you know what you want to do, I can hear it reading your story... perhaps seek some counselling before you make your final decision, just so you know you explored all options... But ultimately you know your kids & your lifestyle better than anyone & will know what it/ you can cope with... as for what people will think, you only have to tell them what you feel comfortable telling, people gossip all the time, but that also means they'll move onto the next topic pretty quickly!

    Anyway good luck

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to AmyEL For This Useful Post:

    1mizzyx  (07-12-2016)


 

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