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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frankenmum View Post
    I'm not 100% sure that I fully advocate for men to be able to opt out, but I do lean towards it in certain circumstances.

    And I'm truly grateful that 'my tax dollars' go towards supporting those less fortunate. I'm grateful that we live in a country where the government provides support for low income families and single parents. My mother wouldn't have been able to put food on the table or keep a roof over our heads without it. My dream job is to work for a non-profit org that helps the disadvantaged, especially single parents and their children. Heck, if I could afford to just volunteer my time for free I would work every day in a job like that without a pay check! But unfortunately for me I don't live in a high income bubble with a husband that can support me solely on his income. In fact, we'll be relying on FTB to keep our heads above water until I can get back into the workforce...
    Well then my ranty post isn't directed at you then In fact it's not directed at any one person in this thread, more a trend I've noticed over the years of the most judgmental of single mums and the most supportive of opt out are the high-middle/high income women. Often supported by men themselves which is ok since he wanted her kids

    At the end of the day it must be about the child. And allowing men to opt out punishes the child. Even in the worst of circumstances - a woman that deliberately tries to trap a guy for either a relationship or CS. It's a crappy situation, no doubt and something I find repulsive. But what kind of man punishes his child bc it's mother is an awful person?

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  3. #52
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    @delirium see I see another side of it where my mum had a child to an abusive a$$hat, who used CS to financially manipulate and abuse her for 16 years. She had to claim CS to get CL payments, he resented it, so made it as difficult as he possibly could for as long as he possibly could. He had no intetest in being a father, but had an etitlted attitude of "I'm paying for the kid so therefore I'll demand to see/take them when I want" purely in order to punish my mum, and thereby damaging and punishing the child. Everyone would have been better off if he'd terminated his parental rights and walked away...

    ETA - I guess what I'm saying is that the type of 'man' who would punish a child because of their mother is the generally going to be the type of man who finds a way to punish them anyway.
    Last edited by Frankenmum; 05-12-2016 at 21:50.

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  5. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Well then my ranty post isn't directed at you then In fact it's not directed at any one person in this thread, more a trend I've noticed over the years of the most judgmental of single mums and the most supportive of opt out are the high-middle/high income women. Often supported by men themselves which is ok since he wanted her kids

    At the end of the day it must be about the child. And allowing men to opt out punishes the child. Even in the worst of circumstances - a woman that deliberately tries to trap a guy for either a relationship or CS. It's a crappy situation, no doubt and something I find repulsive. But what kind of man punishes his child bc it's mother is an awful person?
    I fall into the category you talk of but didn't agree to fathers being able to opt out, unless the mother wants him too as well. Stereotype broken!

  6. #54
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    Yep totally get where you are coming from. I know a few guys who demand a chunk of custody simply so they can cut CS payments. I guess if the mother agrees to opt out??

    But then you enter the risk of women being bullied to agree to opt out

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  8. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    But then you enter the risk of women being bullied to agree to opt out
    But is it better that they're bullied for a few months to opt out, or that they and the child are financially and/or emotionally abused for the next 18 or so years...?

    I honestly don't know... I mean, you'd hope that they'd just suck it up and get over it, but sadly I've seen too many cases where the drama carries on for years.

    It's a tough one...

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    It is a tough one for sure, it's complex.

    My concern is that it opens the gates for men to be even more careless with contraception and behaviour. Don't want to wear a condom with the one night stand? Meh, if she gets UTD I'll just opt out and the govt can support her. Even though we've actively tried for this baby, I've been having an affair and actually don't want the baby or this relationship anymore. A-ok, I'll just opt out. We've broken up and now I hate her guts and want to hurt her, so opt out it is!

    It takes away any responsibility. And when that happens, it will become a free for all.

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  11. #57
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    Good points there...

  12. #58
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    Maybe as there is a clause with CL now where if there is DV you don't have to claim CS without being financially penalised in payments, that there is a clause for opt out. That in cases of abuse she can agree to opt out for him?

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    It is a tough one for sure, it's complex.

    My concern is that it opens the gates for men to be even more careless with contraception and behaviour. Don't want to wear a condom with the one night stand? Meh, if she gets UTD I'll just opt out and the govt can support her. Even though we've actively tried for this baby, I've been having an affair and actually don't want the baby or this relationship anymore. A-ok, I'll just opt out. We've broken up and now I hate her guts and want to hurt her, so opt out it is!

    It takes away any responsibility. And when that happens, it will become a free for all.
    You've really got me thinking now. It could end up being quite the can of worms couldn't it!?

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    Actually abortion is illegal in some parts of Australia - eg Queensland.
    Abortion is allowed in Queensland if it is performed to prevent women from serious risk of physical or mental harm even though abortion is in the criminal code.

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