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  1. #11
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    In short I disagree with this one. Abstinence from sex is the only foolproof contraception. If you have sex, even with contraceptive measures in place you need to be aware that it could result in a baby.

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  3. #12
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    I think if we want true equality when it comes to pro-choice, then it needs to work both ways. A woman should, and does, have a right to choose whether to have a child or not. But a man currently isn't given the same choice (assuming contraception fail).

    It does take two to tango, but currently only one person in that partnership gets to make the final life-long, life-changing decision to make them both parents.

    But if things are going to be equal then a man shouldn't be able to make a woman terminate, but should be given the option as to whether he wants to be a parent.

    ETA - I personally can't fathom how anyone would not want to be involved in the life of someone they created. But just thought it was important to note that the current system of pro-choice is very unequal.
    Last edited by Frankenmum; 04-12-2016 at 10:38.

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  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    In short I disagree with this one. Abstinence from sex is the only foolproof contraception. If you have sex, even with contraceptive measures in place you need to be aware that it could result in a baby.
    Genuine question - I'm assuming you're pro-life? As otherwise this still leaves only the woman with the power in the situation to make the choice for both parties, once conception has occurred.

  6. #14
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    I think that seeing as a female can get an abortion even if the man wants to be a father, then why not give the man the choice to opt out financially if he doesn't want to be a father but the woman wants to be a mother. It's how so many men get trapped into financially raising a child they never wanted to start with.

  7. #15
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    I strongly disagree. I don't think you can say 'well women can opt out so men should be able to as well' - that's comparing apples with oranges. Biology dictates that there is no 'fair' with this situation.

    The reason I disagree is because of the child. The child needs to be supported and with the father being able to 'opt out', who is left to foot the bill? Why should a man's right to opt out be more important than financial security for a child.

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  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frankenmum View Post
    Genuine question - I'm assuming you're pro-life? As otherwise this still leaves only the woman with the power in the situation to make the choice for both parties, once conception has occurred.
    Yes I am prolife and would never have an abortion. I do understand that abortion is legal and would not judge anyone for their decision.

    At the end of the day though the woman is the one who carries the baby for 9 months and gives birth. Of course they should have the final say. My opinion would be different if men could go through a pregnancy.

    I have an **** of an ex husband who has successfully been able to avoid child support.

    My kids are suffering due to their father's decision to withdraw support. Admittedly not quite the same scenario as the OP describes but the result is the same.
    Last edited by SSecret Squirrel; 04-12-2016 at 11:05.

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  11. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barnaby View Post
    I strongly disagree. I don't think you can say 'well women can opt out so men should be able to as well' - that's comparing apples with oranges. Biology dictates that there is no 'fair' with this situation.

    The reason I disagree is because of the child. The child needs to be supported and with the father being able to 'opt out', who is left to foot the bill? Why should a man's right to opt out be more important than financial security for a child.
    That's a good point. I guess there's no one easy answer in this. Although even without this as an option there are plenty of 'fathers' out there who are absent physically, emotionally & financially anyway, and there are parenting payments, etc in place to help provide for those children.

    One of my friends is a single mother of 7 kids under the age of 10yo, and her ex husband pays $21 a fortnight in child support... it's more hassle to her than it's worth!

  12. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    Yes I am prolife and would never have an abortion. I do understand that abortion is legal and would not judge anyone for their decision.

    At the end of the day though the woman is the one who carries the baby for 9 months and gives birth. Of course they should have the final say. My opinion would be different if men could go through a pregnancy.

    I have an **** of an ex husband who has successfully been able to avoid child support.

    My kids are suffering due to their father's decision to withdraw support. Admittedly not quite the same scenario as the OP describes but the result is the same.
    So sorry you're in that situation Unfortunately it's far too common... My dad moved to another country when I was 10yo and never paid a cent in child support. So all I can say is that one day your children will appreciate all of the sacrafices you made for them x

  13. #19
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    I don't like the idea. It should be about what's best for eg child not what's most convenient for the parents.

  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ahalfdozen View Post
    My opinion purely comes from experience. When I fell pregnant with my eldest, my ex suddenly turned really abusive (mentally, physically and emotionally). He attempted to "abort the baby" by attacking me. It was pretty clear he didn't want the baby. I told him that if he just leaves me the hell alone, I won't have him on the birth certificate (he had already said he was going to refuse), I won't claim for child support etc and in return he won't have anything to do with being the parent.
    He agreed.
    My child's birth certificate has no father listed and my current husband is the only father my child has ever known and it has all worked out far for the best.
    The pittance I would get off him in child support was absolutely worth sacrificing for me to have complete parental rights for my child.
    I think, depending on some variables, so long as both parties agree I can't see an issue.
    I do think it's unfair for some males also, because the woman does have some option to "abort her mistake" but men just get told "well you knew the risks". He isn't afforded the same opportunity to opt out like a female can, but he should absolutely NOT be able to coerce for an abortion so financial is the next best option.
    This was me aswell nearly 100% the same except exh forged my signature on the birth certificate changed my sons last name and added his name to it. Took me 6 months to get my sons last name changed back to mine but I couldn't get his name off it at all then on the back it tells my DS what his name was when he was born. He also had another life going on aswell that I had no idea about at all as it was a fellow employee of the company we worked for hence they both where sacked.

    In a way I am for it. I know of someone who told her BF that she was on the pill....she wasn't.....they had only been dating for 3 months.....boom she was pregnant.......it was her plan all along to get pregnant as she found out what the pension would be compared to the Newstart allowance she was on. When all the benefits where added up it's nearly $800 a week which is more then what I earn in a week working full time. She's also lodged child support and the guy earns mega bucks but she didn't put him on the birth certificate which has made her case ALOT harder. She's in it for the money so she doesn't ever have to work and has already said to her sister that she plans on doing it again in a couple years time.

    Professional baby maker in the making

    I feel if women lie just to have baby and trick the guy like in this case then I'm all for it.

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