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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Single parenting and money

    Urgghhh it's been one of those days...
    I've been a solo parent for 3yrs now...and I still hate it. What I hate most is my financial situation. I have 3 kids, 13, 11 and 5yo. I work part time and my XDH pays child support and is a good dad, but I have them full time. My older kids are involved in a fair bit of sport. I only have a smallish mortgage (very very thankful I don't have to pay rent) but only earn about 30k/yr and get Parenting Payment. If I work more, my kids can't participate in sport/extra curricula activities because they can't get there, as it is I feel like I'm always asking someone to drop/take my kid to a game etc. It also means my older kids are home alone a lot more than I'd like and my youngest more time in care. I don't feel like anyone wins if I work more....and just adds to my stress levels. I can't deal with the juggling and have no family support.

    But I feel so damn broke all the time, I pay my bills, I pay the kids sport and I manage a family holiday each year..I know I'm doing ok but I still feel so jaded...if I was still with XDH we'd have a combined income of 120k. My kids often say things that make me feel like I'm not providing enough..they don't mean too but it still really upsets me (my 5yo today - "Mum why can't you save money more so we can get a pool like my friends"). I'm just over it.. just a vent really..but any tips/ideas wise people??

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Hugs. I promised kiddo I was going to take him somewhere yesterday but couldn't in the end as I have no money left. I could see he was heartbroken I let him down but I couldn't do anything about it.

    In the end, all I hope is that kiddo sees that I did the best I could at the time.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Oh hun I don't really know what to say.

    If it helps we had a higher combined income than the kids' mum did and we never managed to take them on holidays, yet she went 4-6 times a year.

    And kids will always say things like "why can't we buy" etc...

    I know it doesn't help much but you are doing wonderfully and the fact that you worry about these things shows how much you adore your children and want the best for them.

    Would their dad be willing to put in extra money every now and then so you can treat them? It's what H did.

    ETA: sorry just re-read and realised my 'combined income' bit sounds horrid... what I meant was that a higher income doesn't necessarily mean more opportunities as it comes with a downside- more work. We never had the same holidays off, long hours, etc.
    Last edited by DT75; 28-11-2016 at 08:06.


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