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  1. #11
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    I was about to say that @Heyside !! @ShannyAnny yeah totally!!!

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    Heyside  (19-11-2016)

  3. #12
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    oh ladies I didn't even think of it that way. It would be hard to see first second or third time successes and being as you say left behind. That must be so hard to deal with. And annoying at times.

    Marn83 - Thank you for the kind invite to your dinner on the 8th of Dec but i work as an RN my shifts are crazy. But do keep me informed if and when they are coming up and if Im in sydney i will come. Or hang on if my follicles are progressing I may be in town...ooooh that would be nice. If im there count me in.

    Shannyanny - love the name by the way. This overbearing lady was the same, she has had 4 successes from 4 attempts and she painted herself as an expert who could help me. And im on syneral and prone to snapping. I held my tongue cause she is a teacher at my daughters school. Otherwise I would have let it rip!


    And those who have not been lucky with their 1st, 2nd or 3rd attempts and still going would be wanting to rip shreads off this woman. And i would have let you at her.

    Just because someone has had success does not mean they are some kind of expert. It means they got lucky.

    We had the added pressure of if we werent successful in the first 3 goes we would be put back on the horrible sperm donor wait list again. I couldn't go through another 2yrs of waiting!! So I am glad we got success.

    But I am also sad for the ladies without success yet.

    Would it help if those who have a child to not always talk about said child? Would it be ok for those to say oh yes I was successful so IVF can work but to leave it at that.

    For me that would have been fine. But before child i couldn't deal with pregnancies, or children, or babies, or friends getting pregnant. I lost my **** in the car one day with hubby when friend announced her 3rd pregnancy. I was in tears saying she gets pregnant and here we are on a feking waiting list that should be us not her. i lost it for an hour.

    So it is hard dealing with it. From my perspective i see heaps of people in this town 3-7 kids in one family not very well cared for. And I think jesus christ i know of good people who would give their right arm and leg to be in that position.

    So i sincerely hug each one of you still on your journey.

    mysticfalls
    Last edited by MysticFalls; 21-11-2016 at 10:26. Reason: one sentence did not make sense.

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    Heyside  (21-11-2016),nettz84  (21-11-2016),Tinachris  (21-11-2016)

  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by MysticFalls View Post
    Would it help if those who have a child to not always talk about said child? Would it be ok for those to say oh yes I was successful so IVF can work but to leave it at that.

    mysticfalls
    I don't mind too much if people talk about their children but I do often feel quite left out of group conversations that revolve around babies, child birth, pregnancy and kids. To be totally honest with you if someone said to me oh yes I was successful so IVF can work it would probably annoy me. I already know that it can work and it feels like it works for everybody except me. The fact that you were successful doesn't really give me hope it actually just makes me feel even more broken. I am pretty over sensitive about these things and most things people say annoy or upset me which is why I avoid these conversations for the most part. I think I am also quite angry about the situation so often twist things people say in my mind so I can get offended and have an avenue to direct some of my anger. I would never say anything to the other person but I would probably stew on it for the next 24 hours and replay it in my head and think of all the things I would have loved to say in response

  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by MysticFalls View Post
    oh
    Just because someone has had success does not mean they are some kind of expert. It means they got lucky.
    Absolutely. We were one of the lucky ones. Everytime someone even alludes to the fact that we somehow did something to get a good outcome I say "No. We were just lucky. Really really f*#%ing lucky". It is completely absurd for anyone who has had success to somehow think they're an expert that can give someone else advice on what to do with IVF. It would be like winning the lottery and going around telling people how you picked the numbers and can help them win too.

    I did talk to others IRL about IVF, that's just the way I am, I like sharing things with people, but I didn't know anyone else doing IVF at the time. I can imagine it would have been near on impossible to stay friends if one of us got pregnant and the other didn't. One would feel heartbroken and the other guilty.

    I really feel for you ladies, you're absolutely right, getting lucky in your first few attempts is incomparable with long term IVF attempts. I won't say "hang in there, you'll have success eventually" because that's a bullsh!t thing to say. I wanted to punch people in the face that said that, even just while we were TTCing naturally.

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    nettz84  (23-11-2016)

  8. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by HillDweller View Post
    is completely absurd for anyone who has had success to somehow think they're an expert that can give someone else advice on what to do with IVF. It would be like winning the lottery and going around telling people how you picked the numbers and can help them win too.
    Love this analogy. It shows that you totally get where I am coming from.

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    HillDweller  (23-11-2016)

  10. #16
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    @MysticFalls Will def let you know of further catch ups!

    Am super unsure of how I'll feel with each attempt of IVF and talking to others. At the moment I'm trying to see it from the viewpoint that some friendships last a lifetime and some last for a point in time, and accept that that's ok. I guess that at the end of the day we have to remember to do what is right for us. Such a tough time!

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    MysticFalls  (24-11-2016)

  12. #17
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    Shannyanny,

    point well taken. I understand you. nodding.

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    ShannyAnny  (24-11-2016)

  14. #18
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    Hi @Marn83, how many women are in the support group that meet up and do you have any older ladies in that group?

  15. #19
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    fairyfloss7676

    me if i can ever find the time to get there. hahaaa. Im regional at the moment. But clinic still in Sydney

  16. #20
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    Hi @fairyfloss7676, the group is small in size (and very new) we have had meet ups with 3 -5 people there to date. Others have joined but not been able to make the meet up dates so far. Ages range from 30 - mid 40s.


 

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