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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling so anxious!

    So I had my first antenatal appointment at the hospital for surprise baby #3. Turns out I scored quite high on the anxiety/depression survey and the midwife has referred me to the mental health nurse. I also disclosed my partner has been recently (last 6months) diagnosed with BPD, depression, anxiety and PTSD from military service.
    After calculating my score on the test, the midwife then asked me if I have ever been involved with families SA (child welfare).
    I have, my daughter was taken from my care after birth due to the relationship I was in with her father had extreme DV. They placed her under a 12month guardianship order, and as I immediately separated and moved back on with my parents I had primary care of my daughter for the duration of the order. So I cared for her daily but they had legal custody of her should I resume the relationship she would go into foster care. At about 6months I moved out on my own and worked very hard with the social worker to prove myself a good mother. I understand why it was done - but the emotional trauma left me with anxiety and PTSD. That was 7years ago.
    I then had my son 5 years ago - general anxiety about giving birth and him being taken. Families SA was never mentioned. Nothing happened.

    I am now beside myself anxious that I finally disclosed to someone that I'm not OK mentally - I think mainly from having to care for someone that has mental health problems alone for the last 12 months - that I am being punished and reported to families sa. I feel like anyone else can admit they aren't ok, but if I'm not ok I'm going to have to go through the **** with my daughter again and honestly I'm just not strong enough to cope with all that right now. My kids are loved, fed, clean, clothed. Never neglected or abused. Yes they have lived with their father/step-fathers mental illness and seen him upset/depressed/angry but it has never been at them or me, never have they or myself been physically or verbally attacked or abused.

    I don't know what I'm wanting here - but just trying to get it out I guess. I wish I could turn back the clock and change it so I could be left alone.

  2. #2
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    I didn't want to read and run.. Sending hugs.. I'm so sorry that I can't offer practical advice..

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi, would the family services be a bit more relaxed if you were seeing a social worker, or a guidance counsellor ? Perhaps, if you can show you are getting help and support, they will not be so concerned, and by doing that you will not be so very anxious.?? I don't really know how these things work, but perhaps that is worth a try. ?? good luck, marie.

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    Thanks for your replies. I struggle with counsellors as they reported my first relationship (rightly so) but it destroyed all trust I have in the profession to actually help me. I agreed to have the hospital mental health nurse contact me so waiting on that.
    They aren't actually involved yet - just stressing that they will be contacted. I know so many others that have struggled with anxiety/depression in pregnancy and after and not had to deal with this as well but feel like I'll have to prove myself instead of actually being helped. Having a life's too hard and not fair moment.

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    My experience in this area is quite limited, but in regards to your experience with your DD and a DV relationship, they would have had to report their concerns due to mandatory reporting requirements. You have already acknowledged that the relationship was no good and that by leaving the relationship, you maintained care of your daughter.

    In regards to this baby, they will not remove the children from your care on a whim or based solely on your history. They will be looking at your current situation, and if there are serious concerns regarding the safety of your children then and only then will Families SA/Child protection be notified. If you are engaging with health professionals to work towards improving your mental health, it will go a long way. Please try not to stress about the ifs/buts/maybes. It takes a lot for children to be removed from the care of their parents as the primary concern is to keep families together if it is possible and safe to do so. The only way for people to help is if you are open and honest. Please try not to worry too much. If your children are safe, happy and healthy, you'll have nothing to worry about. Good luck.

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    bezzy  (17-11-2016)

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    I have some experience with a similar situation though in Victoria and I have no choice but to have my mental health treated by those who made the referral to DHS that has seen my son removed from my care as I am on an involuntary treatment order. Before this current order though DHS put a lot of supports in place to try to help - removing DS from my care literally only came when they were alerted to thoughts I was having that put him in danger. Families SA really do want to keep families together where they possibly can. If they are seeing 2 happy children receiving adequate care (not in physical danger, having food provided, attending school if old enough etc) they won't come storming in to take them away. It also doesn't sound like you have been referred at this point from what you have said


 

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