This maybe a lengthy post! I will try and shorten as much as I can but I would really really love and appreciate any advice..
I have a 7yr old almost 8 (turning 8 in feb 17). I was with her dad for 5yrs and we decided to try for a wee bundle. He turned out to be a total cheat and liar and I suffered immensely from the break up (won't go into detail way too long) long story short he ended up being emotionally abusive. My daughter and I moved from house to house (with family and friends) and I had fantastic support, however I couldn't keep still and we couldn't settle. By the age of two I decided to pack up and move country. We've been living in Australia since she was 2yrs old and I've always been single (no other men what so ever), however I again, couldn't keep still and we moved a lot and could never settle, however she would always seem to adjust to the situation because she was only little and I tried my hardest to maintain a routine wherever we were.
When she was 5yrs old I met my current partner who treats myself and DD extremely well. We all moved in together a year ago (I had been seeing him for a year before that and i was very guarded and didn't want a man coming into our life unless it was forever) and I had to change her school from a school where she was settled and happy and had family and friends attending.
Here are my issues. This year she has settled into her new school, however her grades have dropped way beyond the average level, she seems very withdrawn, clingy, moody and lonely at home but I've been told she is a star student at school and gets along with allll her pairs and teachers and ALWAYS tries her very best at everything she does. She most definitely doesn't get the attention from me that she use too as I now have a household to run, I work full time and juggle after school activities as well. I have noticed that I ignore her a lot as I'm "too busy" or "too stressed out" and I know this is a major factor in her behaviour and I am now working on it. This is the most stable home she's had since she was born and the longest we've lived in one spot. It absolutely breaks my heart that I have done this to my daughter and I want to fix it. Is it too late for me to change her behaviour? Have I damaged her for life? Everything I done in the past was to try and make things better as a single parent (I thought I was doing the right thing) but I'm afraid that it has done more damage than good and is too late
She has been extremely difficult to get through lately and I just want my little happy girl back.
Any positive parenting tips would be greatly appreciated. I am not going to give up on changing her behaviour and mine for the better. My DH is very supportive and loves her like his own, however she will not obey him at all and will cling to me and copy everything I do. I am currently completing an online positive parenting course with triple p and it is helping to identify the issues and tools to fix but they all seem to be for toddlers and younger children.
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16-11-2016 23:03 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2016
Please help! Withdrawn/misbehaving 7yr Old DD
16-11-2016 23:15 #2Junior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2016
I also wanted to add, my daughter loves her dads to bits but he has not attempted to call or make an effort and I know this must be super hard for her. She never talks about him anymore. It's like she doesn't care but not because she actually doesn't care she just knows now that he doesn't I guess i have fought with Him and his family soo much to protect my daughter and it got nowhere so now I don't even try to contact him at all to speak with her
17-11-2016 08:56 #3
I'd suggest talking to her. She might enjoy less activities and more time with you instead. Could be an issue at school even.
17-11-2016 09:38 #4
It could also be that the concept of 'this is forever' is daunting to her. It's never something she has had before, so probably doesn't know how to deal with it.
17-11-2016 10:02 #5
You sound like a lovely Mum who wants to reconnect with your daughter. At nearly 8 I think you can have the 'are you happy' talk? Go through what you have told us about how much you love her but that you are worried that she seems sad and lonely. Perhaps a special mummy and daughter day or asking a friend to sleepover might help. I would also suggest perhaps getting her into the school counsellor. She might need to talk about things that she finds hard talking to you about.
17-11-2016 13:12 #6
Id definitely contact the school counsellor/psychologist. You'd at least get professional advice (and it's free).
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