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  1. #21
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    It was always our plan that I would stay home. I went to uni, I've spent years working in the area and was a total stressed out mess. We both consider ourselves lucky enough to have been raised by a sahm and that's what we see for our kids. Not just now when they are little and at home but also when they are at school. I'm a terrible home maker but most of the time I feel like an ok parent.

    Even if I wanted to work it would still fall on me, my husband has a good job but it is totally inflexible and long hours. I would consider studying if it didn't feel like a waste of money with not being able to do anything with it in the end.

  2. #22
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    I had never planned to stay at home and was due to return to work when DS was 6 months.

    However I was made redundant when I was due to return and my husband was working away for 26 days and home for 9. So the decision was made if stay at home. Do I enjoy staying home - no not 100% but I am enjoying it a lot more now

  3. #23
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    1. So i could watch my kids grow and learn
    2. Because financially it makes sense for us (at least for now)
    3. More family time
    4. Homeschooling (i didn't do this at first though)

    ETA: I did work casually before #4 came along, i worked every Friday at an RSL and had a cleaning job cleaning two hours at a doctors clinic and three hours in a gym. I would do it again if i needed to.
    Last edited by Unschooling4; 11-11-2016 at 20:33.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    It was important to H.
    I agreed to stay home for a year with the agreement that I would study to change careers when I went back.
    I haven't been able to study and absolutely do not want to go back to working in childcare so... I'm stuck essentially.
    @DT75 I am in the exact same boat at the moment. Definitely do not want to go back to working in childcare either.

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  6. #25
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    I'm always a bit torn at finding the balance. Before we had kids we always planned for me to only go back to work part time after kids.

    Im currently home full time on Mat leave and i love being home. I generally don't find it boring or isolating, I love planning out our weeks and we have plenty of social time. I'm a bit of a geek in that I love doing kids craft and going to the library.

    I also really like my job, it's interesting and challenging and I like the human interaction but I won't work more than 2 days a week when I return for quite a while yet. The reason for that is that I'd just miss my kids too much. I very nearly didn't have children and it was a long road to have them so I'm happy to sacrifice other things like career progression, more money etc. for time with them. I'd be very full filled being a sahm for a few years while they are little but I would be a bit nervous of staying out of the workforce for too long so I find part time work is a good balance.

  7. #26
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    Technically im not a ft stay at home mum as i work sundays and do a little work from home (but the home stuff is at my pace and when i want).
    I worked 2-3 days and have gotten it down to 1 day and then hopefully none.
    I really enjoy being at home. I was always that work to live not live to work person so i love that i get to go to the beach, pool, parks, zoos etc with my girls.
    Now my eldest is at school i found the transition so easy and great that i can help out in class and be there for drop offs and pick ups. Ive got my whole life to work after kids so im not worried about taking a fraction of it off to be at home more with the kids.

  8. #27
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    @nicolier I don't mean to pick on you, so anyone, please feel free to answer too

    When you say you've got your whole life to work after kids, do you mean after kids are adults with jobs? Or earlier than that?
    What type of job/career will you target at that point?

    I'm genuinely curious

  9. #28
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    I worked part time after I had my first, but she had some serious health issues at the time, and I found it really difficult to be the type of employee I would like to be, whilst dealing with her health issues at the time. She was having frequent hospitalisations and I was needing to be with her in hospital instead of being at work. I realised through that time that I didn't want to have to be torn between a job and the needs of my children. Now that I have almost 4 children under 6, financially it is not viable for me to work - the cost of child care is way more than I earn. I volunteer in various roles in my community, and I take my kids to my volunteer activities wherever I go. I would like to think that I am making a worthwhile contribution to my community in what I do And with (nearly 4) kids under 6, I work damn hard, too.

    I also found it a bit of a no-brainer because I work in Early Childhood Education. It feels a bit silly to be paying someone else to look after my kids, while I look after someone else's kids, and then have no money for it at the end of the week because of the cost of the care of my kids... why not just look after my own kids, and spend my time and effort on them, instead of on someone else's kids. I am lucky that I have been able to keep up to date with my field with a small amount of study, and my volunteer community activities mostly revolve around the field of Early Childhood, so I feel I am able to keep up-to-date that way. In fact, volunteering in my community has given me an entire new set of skills and experience I wouldn't have been able to achieve otherwise.

    That being said... I hate how I feel like I have to justify my role as a SAHM with the extra 'stuff' I do. If I didn't do any volunteer work at all, and dedicated my days to just being with my kids, doing school drop offs, cooking, cleaning, playing, teaching, nurturing, loving - that's ok. That's enough. Sometimes I think we feel like the 'extra stuff' is our job - when ultimately, our children are our job. I love having outside volunteer roles, but if my only job was to care for my kids, my job is a highly important one, and totally valid in it's own right I plan to return to work when my youngest is at preschool, and I know I will be fine getting back into paid employment. I have absolutely zero concerns about it.

  10. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    @nicolier I don't mean to pick on you, so anyone, please feel free to answer too

    When you say you've got your whole life to work after kids, do you mean after kids are adults with jobs? Or earlier than that?
    What type of job/career will you target at that point?

    I'm genuinely curious
    Depends really, maybe late primary school/high school when they are more independent and can get to and from school and dont need me around as much. I guess when it feels right that i can work more without taking time away from them.

    Im nearly 30 so by the time my kids are in high school I'll still have what 30+years that i can still be in the work force before i retire so i guess i can do anything. Keep doing I.T stuff like I'm doing now, or study something completely different.

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  12. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    I'm always a bit torn at finding the balance. Before we had kids we always planned for me to only go back to work part time after kids.

    Im currently home full time on Mat leave and i love being home. I generally don't find it boring or isolating, I love planning out our weeks and we have plenty of social time. I'm a bit of a geek in that I love doing kids craft and going to the library.

    I also really like my job, it's interesting and challenging and I like the human interaction but I won't work more than 2 days a week when I return for quite a while yet. The reason for that is that I'd just miss my kids too much. I very nearly didn't have children and it was a long road to have them so I'm happy to sacrifice other things like career progression, more money etc. for time with them. I'd be very full filled being a sahm for a few years while they are little but I would be a bit nervous of staying out of the workforce for too long so I find part time work is a good balance.
    Sounds like you have found the perfect balance!!!


 

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