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  1. #1
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    Default Unplanned pregnancy &a unsupportive partner

    Hi there, I am really new to this so please bear with me..

    I am 21 years old and recently found out that I am around 8 weeks pregnant. I have been with my partner for around 6 months and have been on the pill that whole time but it appears to have been ineffective..

    He is completely against keeping the baby. He has said he is not ready and that there will be no future for our relationship if we have a baby at this point.

    I myself, feel that I am capable of going ahead with the pregnancy. I work full time and will be eligible for maternity leave, I have a very supportive group of family and friends and have taken all challenges and consequences into consideration.

    His family on the other hand, also say he isn't ready and that if I have the baby I won't be giving him a choice and that it is unfair.

    Has anyone else been in this situation? Is there any chance that he is likely to come around and warm to the idea of being a father? Or will I end up being a single mother and bringing an innocent child into an already separated, disfunctional family? I'm so confused and so stressed and worried that I'm going to make the wrong decision.

  2. #2
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    Hugs. My son who is 9 was very similar circumstances. I have raised him by myself. We had a lot of hurdles but we got there. My last parter, we didn't keep the baby because I couldn't do it by myself again. My son has never had his father around so for me to do that to another child and not be 100% sure of the support I would get from the father and even my family, I wasn't sure how I would cope, the affect it would have on my son and overall our life.

    My family support has been all over the place since my son was born. Sometimes my parents would help out, other times no. Now they help out as I work night shift so they share caring for my son between them but my mum does most of it.

    Ultimately the decision is yours. It takes 2 to tango.

    Good luck with your decision. Don't make it without considering everything.

  3. #3
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    @Hc129 I'm an advocate of choice for both sides, a lot of the time the male partners choice is not considered & they are forced into a situation that one or both people didn't plan for.
    It sounds like you have considered who would & wouldn't be involved & are aware that your relationship is unlikely to continue.
    If you do believe you have the support network & capability to raise the child as a single parent, then go for it. However, it may be necessary to consider legal advice regarding the baby's father. If he & his family do not want to be in the child's life ever, you should find out if they can sign away their legal right to the child, preventing future heartache for your family. Their involvement is definitely something you need to work out before the baby is born.
    You may need to find out how to explain it to your child when they are old enough also.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by mawright91 View Post
    @Hc129 If he & his family do not want to be in the child's life ever, you should find out if they can sign away their legal right to the child, preventing future heartache for your family. Their involvement is definitely something you need to work out before the baby is born.
    .
    I would caution the OP against trying to make things definitive and final before bub is even born. Maybe when the dad grows up a bit he will have a change of heart. In which case it may be in the child's best interest to encourage a relationship. If you've already formally cut the dad out if the picture, it makes any type of positive change harder to handle.

    (This is a best case scenario - the dude could remain a douche, who knows).

  5. #5
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    How old is the baby's father?

  6. #6
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    Old post, I'm sure the OP has made a decision by now

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    VicPark  (01-01-2017)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hc129 View Post
    Hi there, I am really new to this so please bear with me..

    I am 21 years old and recently found out that I am around 8 weeks pregnant. I have been with my partner for around 6 months and have been on the pill that whole time but it appears to have been ineffective..

    He is completely against keeping the baby. He has said he is not ready and that there will be no future for our relationship if we have a baby at this point.

    I myself, feel that I am capable of going ahead with the pregnancy. I work full time and will be eligible for maternity leave, I have a very supportive group of family and friends and have taken all challenges and consequences into consideration.

    His family on the other hand, also say he isn't ready and that if I have the baby I won't be giving him a choice and that it is unfair.

    Has anyone else been in this situation? Is there any chance that he is likely to come around and warm to the idea of being a father? Or will I end up being a single mother and bringing an innocent child into an already separated, disfunctional family? I'm so confused and so stressed and worried that I'm going to make the wrong decision.
    Did everything work out ok?

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Loh4 For This Useful Post:

    VicPark  (01-01-2017)


 

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