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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I've spoken to other peoples kids when they were doing something out of line. My eldest was repeatedly bullied by another girl at her old school and the parents (who knew) were doing nothing (or nothing effective) about it. So one day when I was there and I saw this girl I spoke to her directly and told her to leave my daughter alone. I told her I knew what she was doing and so did the school and now it stops.

    It was too late the damage was done and we moved my daughter to a different school. But I'm always glad I did and that I could tell my daughter I spoke for her.

    ETA it wouldn't be my first reaction. In this cAse now the school knows and the bus driver I'd wait to see if it stops.
    I agree with you but the way @Unschooling4 had written it came across as more aggressive to me so felt like it was more 'yell/rant' than talk.

    I think you have done well OP. I hope that it is all sorted now.

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  3. #22
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    Hmm not sure she meant it that way but I guess only she knows.

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Hmm not sure she meant it that way but I guess only she knows.
    I don't think so either as it is totally different to everything else she has said. But that was the initial impression. So hard to convey what you mean sometimes in text.

  5. #24
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    If I'm 'telling someone off' then I'm not having a quiet, calm word in someone's ear, . In an instance like this I would go through the appropriate channels...there could be reasons that need to be addressed for this child stealing food, that can't be dealt with with an adult having a quiet word in their ear.

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  7. #25
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    OP to be honest I wouldn't be sending my 7 year old kid to school alone on a bus. No way in heck I would be sending a 4 year old alone/with a 7 year old sibling. I think it's unfair to expect 4 and 7 year olds to deal with whatever behavior may arise on a public bus (including but not limited to an older child eating their leftovers).

    Hopefully the school can get to the bottom of things - my first thought was that something is going on with the 8 year old (not being fed enough by parents/social issues etc). Good on you for calling the school. I think under no circumstances is it appropriate for you to approach the other child directly. No matter how 'nice' you are the child would no doubt feel intimidated. What a bloody terrible suggestion for you to get on the bus and tell the child off.

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  9. #26
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    I didn't reply to the telling off post, because I took it in an aggressive way too. And while I have spoken to other kids before if they've been out of line or hurting my kids and their parents either weren't around or didn't step in, I don't think it would be he best course of action here. Sure I could have a gentle word to her, but that would mean stopping the bus and making an issue of it in front of her peers. Which if I was her parent I don't think I would appreciate. It's different to me as the kids see each other every day. If I have a word with a kid in a park, they may not see us again for a while. But if she or her siblings got mad because I spoke to her, they could make school and my kids trip on the bus difficult. So that wasn't one of my options and I didn't think it worth the risk of turning something minor to turn into a huge issue!

    Keeping the bags at the front is working for now and we will do it for the rest of the year and hope by next year, my kids will be a bit more assertive in telling her no if it keeps happening. I still haven't heard from the school, but I've found communication isn't their strong suit, so I'm not overly suprised! I'm going to pop into the office next week and see if they've done anything with the info. I talked more to my son about it all and he said all the kids in that family (4 kids) are often asking for food from other kids. I do think there's a bit of sharing and swapping of food that goes on on the bus, but it does sound like they just aren't getting enough to eat during the day/at home rather than the usual kid "oh look what they've got, I like that, I want some" thoughts kids all have.

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  11. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    OP to be honest I wouldn't be sending my 7 year old kid to school alone on a bus. No way in heck I would be sending a 4 year old alone/with a 7 year old sibling. I think it's unfair to expect 4 and 7 year olds to deal with whatever behavior may arise on a public bus (including but not limited to an older child eating their leftovers).
    It's what happens when you live in the country though Vic. It's a school bus, not public. Only has school ages kids, not unknown adults. Big kids up the back, smaller ones down the front. Yes, things can still happen, and the bus driver is mainly there to provide transport, but he does step in if there's something causing crying/screaming etc. Teachers from the school also escort them from the bus in the am and to the bus in the pm so they can't get lost/forgotten on the way.

    I admit I was apprehensive when DS started to take the bus, (he was 6), but he loves it. I drive in on DD's kindy mornings, and she has only been catching the bus home since the middle of last term. But to do all drop off and pickups is 90km a day. Just not feasible especially as I'm also now working part time 45 minutes from home in the opposite direction from the school. In a perfect world we would all take our kids to school. But living rurally it's just not always possible. Just in my DD's class of 20, 8 catch the bus and have been doing it all year. It's normal for country folk - I was a school bus kid too.

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  13. #28
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    I get what you're saying and I have lived in country areas at various stages in my life too. There is still no way in heck I would let my 4 year old on the bus alone/with a sibling. No matter where it was or what working arrangements I had I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it - I would rearrange home/work/school location and arrangements ahead of sending my 4 year old on the bus. I think what your kids have gone through and the fact that the bus driver initially had no idea that was going on would be enough to seal the deal with me on that one.

    I do see how others would make different decisions from me.

  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I get what you're saying and I have lived in country areas at various stages in my life too. There is still no way in heck I would let my 4 year old on the bus alone/with a sibling. No matter where it was or what working arrangements I had I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it - I would rearrange home/work/school location and arrangements ahead of sending my 4 year old on the bus. I think what your kids have gone through and the fact that the bus driver initially had no idea that was going on would be enough to seal the deal with me on that one.

    I do see how others would make different decisions from me.
    My eldest started on the school bus at 4. Our driver is a wonderful man who drive my husband to school. The kinder kids sit at the front and all other kids are watched by a bus monitor. Really, for us, it's no different to car pooling.

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  16. #30
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    I had such an overprotective mother and still caught a school bus from 4 1/2. It was a dedicated school bus, and you had lines to get in at school, and the teachers made sure all kids were escorted on to the right bus. My mum would be waiting at the bus stop to walk home with me. Really, there was nothing that could have happened on the bus that couldn't have happened in the playground during school time. The school was responsible for disciplining kids who misbehaved on the school bus.

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