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  1. #1
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    Default Just the 3 of you for Xmas?

    Hi.

    I've always found Xmas hard as it's always been either just me and my mum growing up or in later years I've hung out with friends and then my DH has joined that.

    This year we have a 16mth old little girl and I can't help feeling sad that she's got a pretty crappy Xmas just with her parents. Our friends are either getting hammered ( childless ) or with their own families.

    We're thinking of just going to the beach for the day but it's making me feel sad for my daughter. I don't want her to have anxieties about crappy Xmas days too. 😞

    My DH only has 3 family members and we usually see them Xmas eve for dinner as per cultural norm.

    Are there many others in this boat? How do you cope and feel your kids get the best experience of the day?

    Any ideas of fun outings to do?

    TIA!

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    At 16 months I wouldn't worry too much. She doesn't know what Christmas is.

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    I haven't ever had much family either and now I'm a single mum with 2 kids so it's a pretty quiet xmas for us too. I still create our own traditions and make a big deal of xmas. It's only a bit sad if we make it that way. Family is family, no matter how big or small and you can make her special day as special as anyone else's. If the day feels long, add in some fun xmas activity to do with her, like craft or something. Or do the cooking together. Think of what your own traditions can be.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    At 16 months I wouldn't worry too much. She doesn't know what Christmas is.
    Thanks but she will next year and our situations likely to be the same.

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    I can empathise. After my mum died and before either me or my sister partnered, Christmas was spent just the three of us at home. We tried a few different things including going away somewhere together or going out for fancy Xmas lunch.
    It was always fine but didn't feel as joyful as Christmas had.
    Whilst your 16 m/o isn't really Xmas aware, you're right, she will later on.
    Maybe think of it as an opportunity to start your own traditions. Including things that could be done if and when more people are part of your Christmas.
    Maybe it is about making Xmas beach day! Or finding a new restaurant that you can go to every year for Xmas lunch
    I think if you make your Christmas special in your own unique way that's what your daughter will remember. Find the things that are meaningful to you and make that your special Christmas.

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    I agree with PP about starting your own family traditions for Christmas. Make a big deal about it and enjoy it. Do some Christmas baking, watch Christmas movies/ cartoons etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Thanks but she will next year and our situations likely to be the same.
    Sorry I didn't mean to sound harsh but she doesn't know any different so she won't think it's miserable. I have an 8, 6, nearly 4 year old. My husband is from overseas. Every year it's just us at home. Christmas Day is still the most exciting day for my kids.

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    Are there no friends of yours at all that want to spend it with you guys? I find Christmas with family very stressful at times so last year a group of my friends got together and decided that this year is going to be a friends Christmas. No family, just friends, their kids (if they have them), and enjoy good food, drinks and laughs. We've done this a few times over the years and it's always the best ones. Perhaps ask some friends what they have planned?

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    All kids really want, more than presents and relatives, is love and attention from their parents. If you made Christmas Day a day where you weren't trying to get any jobs done and just played and played with them all day, that would be awesome for them. Imagine having 100% of your parents attention all day?
    They could pick what you have for Christmas dinner. You can play with the new toys with them.

    We moved our Christmas because I'm a shift worker and often have to work that day. My sister often takes her son into the city as it's free transport and basically empty. They can see the Christmas windows with no crowd.

    It really is about what you make it. One time my 2yo go gastro just before her birthday party and although she was better clearly no one wanted to be around us. Party cancelled. We went to the beach and had the most amazing day.

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    Our Christmases were always just immediate family ... they were always great fun! My Mum made a big deal in the lead up with advent calendars, decorating, and Christmas movies and activities, so we were always really excited about it by the time the actual day rolled around. I never actually knew that other people celebrated with friends or extended family until I became an adult.

    I don't think your DD will even consider that she might be missing out on something unless you tell her that she is. I'd just find a way to make the day more special than any regular day. My Mum used to play board games with us all afternoon, until the sun started going down and then we'd all go into the backyard and have a water fight. It was also the one day of the year we were allowed to have sweets and fizzy drinks, so it felt super special. I think kids just love anything where their parents are 100% focused on them

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