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    Default WDYT... class party inviting the whole class except a couple of kids?

    I never thought I would be 'that' mother, lol. But WDYT of a class party where the entire class is invited except for 3 quiet little girls (not bullies or nasty kids by any stretch). It seems a bit mean-spirited to me... my child hasn't realised she is excluded, so I'm telling myself it doesn't really matter... but still feeling a bit miffed!

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    Poor little DD. I'd be upset for her. Eventually she will find out and maybe just say her invite must of been lost so that she doesn't get to upset about it and if other mums say anything just sneakily say your DD wasn't invited for some reason. My DS just had this happen to him over the weekend. His best mate didn't invite him to his party and DS was Devo about it. Only 3 kids went and they where the bullies of grade 3/4. I have no idea why it happened. My besties eldest gets excluded aswell not because the kids don't like
    Him but because his mum is the bread winner in the family and works full time to send their kids to private school at 15k a year

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    I would definitely be miffed. If the majority are invited then the whole lot should be otherwise keep it intimate with just the close friends. Sorry this has happened to you. Very sad!!

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    Is it a deliberate exclusion? A friend of mine recently had a kids party and invited all the girls from the class based on their child telling them the names...and accidentally excluded one because they forgot. It definitely wasn't deliberate, though.
    If it's a deliberate exclusion it's mean spirited...but I would try not to jump to conclusions if I didn't know for sure

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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    Is it a deliberate exclusion? A friend of mine recently had a kids party and invited all the girls from the class based on their child telling them the names...and accidentally excluded one because they forgot. It definitely wasn't deliberate, though.
    If it's a deliberate exclusion it's mean spirited...but I would try not to jump to conclusions if I didn't know for sure
    No, I spoke to the mum (over email) about a end of year school event I am in charge of organising for the class, which is when she mentioned that the whole class would be going to her sons bday on that day except for a couple of kids. She is definitely aware.

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    Oh that's just mean and nasty. It's not on the child who doesn't know better, the mum is a nasty piece of work .

    I would plan something super fun with your child that day and say oh even if you had been invited you couldn't go because we went hot air ballooning with the dinosaurs .
    Many won't be able to go to the birthday so she may not realise how deliberately she's been excluded

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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    No, I spoke to the mum (over email) about a end of year school event I am in charge of organising for the class, which is when she mentioned that the whole class would be going to her sons bday on that day except for a couple of kids. She is definitely aware.
    Did she say why? I'm really against whole class parties because my kids aren't friends with everyone in their class, and then if one or two are excluded it's so much more awful than only a handful of kids being invited.
    I'm sorry your daughter is being excluded.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    Did she say why? I'm really against whole class parties because my kids aren't friends with everyone in their class, and then if one or two are excluded it's so much more awful than only a handful of kids being invited.
    I'm sorry your daughter is being excluded.
    She just said he invited his kindy friends from last year & other kids outside of school, & she said he wanted to invite the whole class but she had to tell him it was too many kids, so he invited them all except a couple 🤔 Im guessing it's possibly maybe a booked in party like a play centre wih limited numbers? I totally understand just inviting a small group, or inviting half the class, or just all the girls/ boys... it just seems so thoughtless to exclude a couple of kids in the class. Im glad Im not the only one who would feel a bit sad for my kid. I love the idea of taking her somewhere fun on that day I'll do that for sure.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    No, I spoke to the mum (over email) about a end of year school event I am in charge of organising for the class, which is when she mentioned that the whole class would be going to her sons bday on that day except for a couple of kids. She is definitely aware.
    I find this part so weird.

    DS had his first ever birthday party this year. I asked him who his best friends were and he mentioned four little boys, so I invited four little boys.

    Then last week he was invited to another little boy's birthday party, who DS hadn't mentioned. I felt a bit bad, but thought hey, I'll invite the kid next year. When we arrived I was absolutely mortified to find that my DS was the only person invited from the entire childcare.

    I felt, and still feel, so awful about that, and I must confess I told a white lie and said we'd only had a family birthday when I was asked. So that's why I find it weird to draw attention to a party that your child hasn't been invited to, because I just felt so horrible.

    Then on the other hand, my friend's son had a birthday party. He wanted to invite all of the boys in his class bar one. His parents stepped in and said that wasn't on, and it was a couple of close friends or all of the boys, so he went for all of the boys. Apparently this kid totally ran amok, was violent and rude and scared the other children. They vowed from that experience to respect their children's choices when it comes to parties.

    But it doesn't sound like your DD would have that kind of impact on a party :-)

    Hey look, I know you're a teacher yourself, and you probably see this type of thing a bit, but it is totally different when it's your own kid. I always cringe in assembly when kids in our teeny tiny school talk about who came to their birthday parties and the same two or three kids are always excluded. It's heartbreaking.

    So yes, I would be upset too, but I guess the silver lining is it will help your daughter build resilience in the long run. I love the idea of a special, exciting day, but I think it's worth making sure she's ok in the days following the party when she inevitably hears other children talk about it.

    Parenting is so heartbreaking at times 😔

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    I think it's awful. I would be heartbroken if it happened to my child (whether they were aware or not).

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