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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsDL View Post
    On our first trip to a new playgroup (ds was barely 2), one of the older kids decided he was an easy target and made the 2 hours hell for him. Everything ds went to play with would be snatched, he'd push in front of him to go down the slide, etc. his mother was very attentive and telling him off every time but it was hard as a mum to sit there and let it happen! I would've loved to have given that kid a piece of my mind but in those situations I had to let her handle it - and she was doing everything right! Her son was just especially defiant. I think at one point I gave him an evil look and he backed off a bit. Obviously it sucks to see your kids get picked on but it's the parents responsibility to reprimand. It sounds like this mum overreacted especially as it doesn't even seem like your son did anything overly naughty!
    I probably wouldn't of done/said anything too as I hate confrontation, but I believe that parent was not reprimanding that child appropriately if he continued with those behaviours without consequence. She should of removed him from the park, I would be horrified if my child behaved in that manner. Otherwise what is that teaching them? That it's ok to be a turd and defying the parent has no consequences?

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  3. #22
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    Default What would you have done?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsDL View Post
    On our first trip to a new playgroup (ds was barely 2), one of the older kids decided he was an easy target and made the 2 hours hell for him. Everything ds went to play with would be snatched, he'd push in front of him to go down the slide, etc. his mother was very attentive and telling him off every time but it was hard as a mum to sit there and let it happen! I would've loved to have given that kid a piece of my mind but in those situations I had to let her handle it - and she was doing everything right! Her son was just especially defiant. I think at one point I gave him an evil look and he backed off a bit. Obviously it sucks to see your kids get picked on but it's the parents responsibility to reprimand. It sounds like this mum overreacted especially as it doesn't even seem like your son did anything overly naughty!
    Was it my son? Kidding.

    I totally get it from your perspective, DS was very timid and shy going into playgroup/ initially and got that several times where this kid constantly targeted him and basically bullied him. It was awful, just awful.

    My DS has changed though (I think cause he was fed up with being pushed around), has become very assertive and has tunnel vision with toys. He never targets one particular child but if he refuses to listen or apologise, I remove him altogether. I'd be horrified if he targeted another child.

    It's a tough gig

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  5. #23
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    Tbh I'm *that* mum at the playground. My DD is quite tall for her age and has quite a decent vocabulary. She's not quite 3 yet but is going through the "everything is hers" stage. I explain to her repeatedly that it isn't, that she needs to share, etc.
    But her Dad and I also explain to her (also repeatedly), that just like we are her voice, other kids mummies and daddies are theirs.
    So I have pulled other kids up on it, and had other parents pull my DD up on it if I didn't notice quickly enough.
    As long as they state it calmly and briefly, like I do with her or their kids (I.E. "that's not nice, they can play with it too" would be fine for me). Shouting at my kid they're being naughty would not be okay and they would be told that pretty quickly, no matter what the kids had done.

    So the first time wouldn't have worried me. I would have apologised to the mum and explained that DD was going through a phase, then followed it up with a chat with DD about sharing.

    The second one would have been very uncalled for but I can see why the Mum would have reacted that way if she thought her bub had been kicked by what looks like a much older kid.

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  7. #24
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    I must be peculiar but I actually like other parents to call my kids out on bad behaviour. If my 2 or 3 year old was doing something to another child and they were going through a phase of being a bit rough then often having an adult they don't know say something to them is more effective than when I say something.

    I agree with Jennaisme. I am my child's voice and other parents are entitled to speak for their kids too.

    As for the naughty comment it wouldn't have phased me. One comment in my child's life isn't going to mean they always think they're naughty.

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  9. #25
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    I'd also like to add that the 1 year old was completely oblivious. I'm fairly certain she even gave me "wtf are you apologising for?" look.

    Thank you for your responses X

  10. #26
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    Maybe she jumped the gun too quick, but I would be tempted to say something as well if another child was on to their third round of targeting my child.

    I tend to give my children a chance to correct their behaviour, but that's it, so I would have removed him after he went to push the little girl off the chair.

  11. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I must be peculiar but I actually like other parents to call my kids out on bad behaviour. If my 2 or 3 year old was doing something to another child and they were going through a phase of being a bit rough then often having an adult they don't know say something to them is more effective than when I say something.

    I agree with Jennaisme. I am my child's voice and other parents are entitled to speak for their kids too.

    As for the naughty comment it wouldn't have phased me. One comment in my child's life isn't going to mean they always think they're naughty.
    I don't mind it either, but if I'm already doing it then just leave me to do it.

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  13. #28
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    Default What would you have done?

    Quote Originally Posted by Olive Oil View Post
    I'd also like to add that the 1 year old was completely oblivious. I'm fairly certain she even gave me "wtf are you apologising for?" look.

    Thank you for your responses X
    Yeah I doubt a 1 year old would notice either. I'm not denying there haven't been times I felt really judged by other parents jumping in, particularly when I'm already involved. I've felt the pin pricks of tears when I'm tired, trying to do it anyway and someone just jumps down my throat or my child's throat.

    Now my kids are older I'm relieved I'm out of that world. It's always harder for my oldest kid too as I've found my subsequent kids just got it better how to behave appropriately in public.

    Some days all you need is an understanding smile from another parent not their judgement (even if they don't mean it and it just feels that way) xx

  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I must be peculiar but I actually like other parents to call my kids out on bad behaviour. If my 2 or 3 year old was doing something to another child and they were going through a phase of being a bit rough then often having an adult they don't know say something to them is more effective than when I say something.

    I agree with Jennaisme. I am my child's voice and other parents are entitled to speak for their kids too.

    As for the naughty comment it wouldn't have phased me. One comment in my child's life isn't going to mean they always think they're naughty.
    Didn't mean to thank.

    It absolutely wouldn't phase me if other parents called my son out on things IF I didn't catch it and it's done in an appropriate manner. I agree that another adult pulling them in line makes them take it more seriously sometimes.

    I had it under control, the little girl was unscathed and I was teaching my son right from wrong.

    This woman raised her voice at my son as I was talking to him... Not an appropriate manner in my opinion.

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    Maybe she jumped the gun too quick, but I would be tempted to say something as well if another child was on to their third round of targeting my child.

    I tend to give my children a chance to correct their behaviour, but that's it, so I would have removed him after he went to push the little girl off the chair.
    One chance? At 2 years old?

    Is there a cracking whip emoticon?

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