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  1. #11
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    I probably would have bitten the mother's head off and then regretted doing so.

    Just last week i was in the supermarket with my 5 y/o dd. There was a massive ladder on wheels left in the lolly aisle, right in front of the chocolate I wanted to buy. Anyway, DD climbed onto the first step of the ladder and I said 'hope down from there sweet, its not safe'. DD hopped straight off the ladder. A supermarket worker was in the aisle and said, overly nasty, "yes, you need to hop down. that's not a toy and you shouldnt be on it". I turned around and absolutely snapped at her "I just asked her to hop down. She hopped down as she was asked. She doesnt need you to tell her off when she has already done as I asked". As i was walking off I added "and perhaps you might consider not leaving your ladders in the middle of an aisle right on school pick up time".

    I felt awful afterwards because the woman who spoke to DD probably thought she was just backing me up but i took it as her being nasty. I do think I was wrong taking it that way.

    So yeah, I probably would have snapped a response to the other Mum and then felt terrible about it afterwards.

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  3. #12
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    Default What would you have done?

    I don't think there was anything wrong with anything you or the other mother did/said.

    To the other mother it appeared that a 3-4 year old kicked her 1 year old. I can understand why she wanted to defend her.
    Last edited by babyno1onboard; 01-11-2016 at 14:11.

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  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    I would've been quite frank with her and told her to leave the raising of my child to me. I'm sure that'd leave me wide open for a counter attack bug whatever. it's pretty rude and mean to shout at someone else's kid (unless it's a dire emergency, which this wasn't).
    The OP didn't say anything about shouting.

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  7. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    The OP didn't say anything about shouting.
    The op mentioned yelling, hence the use of the word "shout"

  8. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1CrazyMoose View Post
    The op mentioned yelling, hence the use of the word "shout"
    Almost yelling. Not actual yelling.

  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    Almost yelling. Not actual yelling.
    I'm not entirely sure what your point is? It's not really altering the situation of discussion.

  10. #17
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    I'm not sure what you would have done OP, but I think her reaction was both OTT and unnecessary if she could see that you were right there with your DS.

    I probably would have said something like "hey, there's no need for that, I've got this, thanks".

    I've been in similar situations before and I've never had another parent intervene like that (I'm quick to jump in and correct DS myself, which it sounds like you did also).

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  12. #18
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    Ok... I'm a tad embarrassed by my reaction... I am having a bad day. I am literally covered in babies from dawn till dusk (and beyond) and my son is going through this phase...

    I was kneeling down literally about to reprimand him when she started with her raised voice. I was shocked at first and then when she said the word "naughty" the bear appeared out of nowhere. I put my hand out in a "stop" motion and said "I will reprimand my son". I emphasised the word "I". I apologised to the little girl (even though he didn't make contact) walked him away and reprimanded him in private. Usually I would get him to apologise to the child and myself apologise to the mother and go through the "it's a phase, he's big for his age blah blah"

    I'm a bit sensitive about the word naughty, I don't think 2 year olds are naughty, I think they are gremlin boundary pushing dictators who know how to throw a tantrum... But we teach them right from wrong, they don't know yet... I feel like it's similar to calling a child stupid... They might end up believing it.

    Anyway, I pretty much reprimanded a mother for reprimanding my son while I was trying to reprimand him. I feel bad. She looked shocked. I do hope it's a little lesson in etiquette for her though as I suspect her daughter is completely perfect and she has no clue what it's like.. Yet.

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  14. #19
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    Default What would you have done?

    Quote Originally Posted by 1CrazyMoose View Post
    Tough one. I can understand from both sides really. I understand it's normal learning behaviour of a two year old, however no mother likes their child being the little girl in this situation. Perhaps she has had a tough day and her patience and tolerance wasn't at its best, yelling wasn't called for but being frustrated perhaps was fair. We all have our own ideas of discipline and some are more lenient then others. I understand the height issue, my eldest child was the same, it's hard but many outsiders do expect them to be mature as they believe they are older. So perhaps she felt you weren't disciplining him well enough. As I said tough one, I understand your side perfectly, I also understand her frustration for her child. We all go to the library expecting a quiet, relaxed, calm environment so her ideas would have been different had she been perhaps elsewhere, therefore she may have been more understanding. A suggestion maybe in future just say something simple like, apologies he is two and learning such and such. They may be tolerable.
    I agree with this.

    As a parent of two very small and shy girls I DO get frustrated when I see them pushed around, knocked over or hurt by older, bigger or more boisterous kids, usually boys. Sure they are just kids, but I hate seeing my kids get hurt. At one stage dd1 was too scared to go to playgrounds where there were older or bigger kids playing because of this. So libraries were a bit of a "safe space".

    Usually I would see if the parent is intervening or paying attention (which can be sadly lacking), and then do whatever intervention based on that.

    There was no yelling on either side, from what I gathered from the op, I don't think the other mother did anything wrong, apart from maybe being a little overprotective.

    I don't think any parent did anything wrong here.

    It must be tough be the parent on the other side too, with a 2 year old that looks older than he is.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 01-11-2016 at 14:31.

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  16. #20
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    On our first trip to a new playgroup (ds was barely 2), one of the older kids decided he was an easy target and made the 2 hours hell for him. Everything ds went to play with would be snatched, he'd push in front of him to go down the slide, etc. his mother was very attentive and telling him off every time but it was hard as a mum to sit there and let it happen! I would've loved to have given that kid a piece of my mind but in those situations I had to let her handle it - and she was doing everything right! Her son was just especially defiant. I think at one point I gave him an evil look and he backed off a bit. Obviously it sucks to see your kids get picked on but it's the parents responsibility to reprimand. It sounds like this mum overreacted especially as it doesn't even seem like your son did anything overly naughty!


 

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