Advice please - am I being unreasonable?

[delirium]

A few things stood out in your OP. The first is that I'm confused why your mother would expect her son-in-law's sisters to invite her to their kids parties? If they were holding a party for your son or an Anniversary party for you and your DH then I would understand being upset at not being invited. But she really isn't related to them. Am I missing something?The other thing that boldly stood out to me (and I may be way off the mark) is that your mum deliberately wanted to hold the party so she could control who was invited i.e. not inviting your SIL's. It just came across she wanted to give them the big FU and this was her chance bc it would be at her place. The fact she followed up the offer of having it at her place straight away with saying no one bar DH's parents were getting an invite kind of made it quite obvious when reading it.But like I said, I may be way off

[Meld85]

A few things stood out in your OP. The first is that I'm confused why your mother would expect her son-in-law's sisters to invite her to their kids parties? If they were holding a party for your son or an Anniversary party for you and your DH then I would understand being upset at not being invited. But she really isn't related to them. Am I missing something?The other thing that boldly stood out to me (and I may be way off the mark) is that your mum deliberately wanted to hold the party so she could control who was invited i.e. not inviting your SIL's. It just came across she wanted to give them the big FU and this was her chance bc it would be at her place. The fact she followed up the offer of having it at her place straight away with saying no one bar DH's parents were getting an invite kind of made it quite obvious when reading it.But like I said, I may be way off

No you are not missing anything - on occasion they have invited my mum to parties but in other occasions they have kept it small and not.

I don't think she is being deliberately nasty, I think including the extra family members adds extra chaos and work which is a bit difficult especially on a work night. Which I completely respect but what I found to be unreasonable was when I declined her offer, stating my reasons I was accused of not supporting her and only doing what my inlaws want me to.

Anyway to wrap up this story, my mum Calle some this evening and said she really wanted to hold the dinner at her house and if it means DH's family comes as a package then she is fine with this. I reiterated I was fine to do it at my house or the local club but she was adamant she wanted it at her house, so I guess that is what we are doing lol.

[Mama Mirabelle]

I reiterated I was fine to do it at my house or the local club but she was adamant she wanted it at her house, so I guess that is what we are doing lol.

OP I'm glad it all worked out for you. Though something about this sentence doesn't sit right with me. I know it's none of my business but it sort of seems like you were strong armed into letting your mum host this dinner which was your idea in the first place. If that's cool with you then feel free to ignore me completely. I just feel a little sad for you..

[BH-KatiesMum]

it can certainly be hard keeping everyone happy

I am glad that your Mum has come around. Her choices were have it at her house and invite who you want, or for her not to get to have it ... you have it at your house.

These things can be tricky to negotiate