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  1. #21
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    I only have 1 DS and he is 9. I would love to have another child but I am still getting over my last relationship. I don't believe I will ever have another child now. I was given the chance and I threw it away.

  2. #22
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    After 3 I thought I might be done, but that lasted a whole 2 months and a 4th happened. After my 4th I wanted to be done. We had agreed on 4. It's nice and symmetrical. They fit in our car and our house (while busting at the seems) holds everyone. But after a year of swearing I was done, I decided I couldn't keep lying to myself, and I came clean to hubby. It's now been over a year since I came off birth control and I got a positive test last week for #5 I'm hoping that because I had told myself for so long that I was done, this one will feel like my "last chance" and I won't go for any more after it.

    ...maybe

  3. #23
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    Well I always wanted four kids. Always. I had two and then my marriage broke up and I spent a few years flipping between still wanting more/feeling done. I definitely don't want anymore now, and I really think the thing that changed it for me was the girls getting older. The older and more independent they get the less appealing going back to the baby stage seems. We have an awesome little routine happening now. We go for jogs/bike rides in the afternoons and get up and go to the park before school some mornings; all stuff that a new baby would make quite difficult. Plus I have started focusing on some things in my life for "me" (my job and study) and all that would be thrown into turmoil again, so I do feel quite done. Only you can make the decision and know what feels right to you though.

  4. #24
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    We always agreed on 3 and now we have 3 and I totally feel done. I have felt done since the moment the positive showed up on the pee stick with my youngest. He is only 11 months and I hope that feeling never changes, because I wouldn't have a fourth even if it did. Logic would prevail for me and we will always stick with 3.

  5. #25
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    I am pregnant with our second and I kind of feel like I might be done after this. We talked about having three (when DS was 6 months and I was in that honeymoon phase of 'I've got this down!) and I love being pregnant so much I couldn't stand the thought of only doing it one more time. But now I'm pregnant again, I am loving it just as much but I don't feel so sad if this is our last. I love the excitement of getting to know a whole new human, but I also know that three would be huge. I suppose we will review once number two is here but as of right now, I'm leaning towards being done.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post
    We've got 3 and I would adore another daughter to complete our brood. But I don't necessarily want another baby either which doesn't make much sense! So we are not having anymore. I mostly feel good about it but still get jealous when I see fb announcements etc. 4 for us would be doable but I just feel our lives would be mental. Although if I was 100% guaranteed it was going to be a girl oohh that would probably get me across the line for number 4!
    This is me too!

  7. #27
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    Default Does the desire to have more children ever go away?!

    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    This!!! You don't sound done OP. In with @gingermillie, you know when you're done. You don't need to talk yourself out of any additional kids. You just know.

    You get excited when your youngest (or only) child comes out of certain phases, instead of mourning them being the 'last time'

    If I ever down the track got pangs of wanting another, I would look at adoption or foster care. I just think, honestly babies suck and are no fun at all and the birth and breastfeeding and no sleep and nappies etc are not something I ever want to go through again. Nor do I want to juggle 3 kids at any age. 2 parents, 2 hands each = 2 children for me
    100% this. I know I am done. I like looking at other babies, and feel a little wistful when getting rid of the stuff as dd2 gets older, but for the most part I just feel relieved!

    The only way my thoughts on this would change is god forbid something happened to one of them whilst they are still young. It probably wouldn't change anything, just would like to have that avenue available if it did. So that's why we are not doing anything permanent yet. In a few years I'll hopefully convince DH to get the snip (he's completely done too, but doesn't want his "boys" messed with sigh)
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 01-11-2016 at 09:56.

  8. #28
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    The feeling did eventually go away for me.

    When pg with DD I knew she would be our last. I was very unwell (CFS), struggled badly through the pregnancy and then through the first few years of her life. I knew another baby wasn't an option for us, but it didn't stop the longing. I can remember visiting a friend with a newborn when DD was 2. It felt like there was a vice around my heart!

    Fast forward to last year. Again, I visited a gorgeous newborn of much loved friends. I walked away feeling absolutely nothing. Nada. It was actually a weight off my shoulders to know those feelings had passed.

  9. #29
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    I always wanted 3, my DH wanted 2.

    Our babies are IVF babies. From the moment DD2 was born I knew I wanted another baby. DH was adamant he was content with 2. When DD2 was 12 m/o I woke up one day and thought "you know what, I'm really content with 2 kids". It was lovely to be content. When DD2 was 18 m/o I fell pregnant naturally. Big surprise. At first i was freaked out because I was content with 2 kids, and then I became really excited, a 3rd would be amazing. Sadly at a scan at 9.5 weeks we discovered that the baby had no heartbeat (despite the fact that I was experiencing the worst morning sickness out of all 3 pregnancies). For the first 12 months after the miscarriage I discussed/begged DH for another baby (we still had 5 frozen embryos at that stage). Sadly DH was adamant that he was very content having 2 kids and that he really really didnt want a 3rd. Unfortunately in our situation someone had to give in on their wishes, and that someone was me. It took me a good 3 years to get over the miscarriage and to become 'ok' with having only 2 kids.

    We are now 4.5 years down the track from that miscarriage and I can say that the longing for another baby has well and truly gone. That said, I do still love and adore tiny babies, but I dont want one of my own. For me the longing stopped when my girls were well past the baby stage. They became really easy, we could do loads of things together, I started doing things for myself and suddenly I realised that a baby would make it so much harder and more surprisingly I was actually very content with my 2. I couldnt imagine life with a 3rd child now.

    I believe for you, in your situation, you wouldnt regret a 3rd and if you stop at 2, you will be content (well at least I hope you are).

  10. #30
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    We went through years of infertility and IVF and even when my first was just born, I felt sad and jealous when I saw pregnant women.
    We always wanted 2 children, and when I was pregnant with our second I wondered whether I would want more, or a natural conception etc. However, 2.5 years on I am so content with my boys. I am never jealous of people with 3 children etc. I would actually struggle with a third. I am looking forward to the next stage of our lives
    So yes, I think you know when you're done.


 

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