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  1. #1
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    Default Does the desire to have more children ever go away?!

    We've got 2 gorgeous sons. 6 and 3. We always agreed two children would be great. Recently that strong desire to have another baby is taking over me! The sensible side of my brain is saying that I wouldn't cope with three children, the boys would have to share a room, we'd have to get a bigger car, imagine the washing and noise! etc etc. but it's all I can think about! If I'm honest maybe a part of me is secretly longing for a daughter to make the family complete (there, I said it!) but the feelings are as strong as when we tried to have our first and second baby, do they just disappear and the sensible side of your brain takes over? You obviously can't just keep having more babies! Anyone going it has been through this?

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    Default Does the desire to have more children ever go away?!

    I wish I could tell you that that urge goes away, I tried to get over the want for another for 4 years, it didn't work. I've spoken to a lot of people about getting over the want for more, some say you just know when you're done.
    Last edited by BabyG4; 02-01-2017 at 15:25.

  3. #3
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    I have 3 & tried hard to fight the desire for a 4th, for very similar reasons to yourself - that one extra child means extra expense, new car, more people to fit in our home, etc. I decided that in the long run, in the scheme of my entire life, my reasons for not having another child weren't THAT important, and I would always, always be wondering about that 4th child. So now I'm pregnant with the 4th and I knew from minute that I found out I was pregnant that I am done. This will absolutely be my last child, and I am so glad to now have this feeling of being 'done' that I certainly didn't have after 3. You have to decide if the feeling of being 'done' is more important than the reasons for not having another child.

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    KitiK  (30-10-2016)

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    I think it does change when you are 'done'. After my first I definitely felt like my family wasn't finished and there was someone missing. This feeling got stronger the longer our secondary infertility lasted. DH was fine with our one but I desperately wanted to continue our journey for a second. A few weeks after my second was born I felt content like we were done. I get pangs of sadness thinking of not being pregnant again or having a newborn around but it's fleeting and deep down we are content as a family of four.
    I think what you are feeling means you are not done, how does DH feel?

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    Mine is more trickier because I have pcos and infertility. I have a nearly 6 year old and been ttc since he was born. I would love to have another 3-4. I've worked and studied and am doing part time study but deep down would love nothing more than to have a big family.

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    My third and last baby is 7 and I still yearn for another. I've been single since before she was born so I think that's it for me and it hurts my heart every day.

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    Default Does the desire to have more children ever go away?!

    @cheeeeesecake I said the exact same thing when I was pregnant with my 4th. No more, I'm 100000% done, didn't want anymore and even had my tubes tied. The day she was born I cried and knew I made the mistake with my tubes. Really hope you don't have the same feeling as I did afterwards!
    Last edited by BabyG4; 02-01-2017 at 15:25.

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    cheeeeesecake  (31-10-2016)

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    Yeah I get the feeling I might never feel "done" so am going to space out babies until nature does it for me with menopause.... and had better feel done by then, or I'll just go slowly mad!

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    BabyG4  (31-10-2016)

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    I've had 4 and I know I'm done. I wasn't done after 3 but our 4th was a surprise. It's been a huge adjustment to be honest we've had to really stretch ourselves financially. I know people who've gone on to have a 5th and while I love babies I'm VERY happy we stopped.

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    Default Does the desire to have more children ever go away?!

    After my second I didn't feel done. But he was 4 years of ivf and being 39 when he was born I let it go. Then a surprise natural pregnancy resulted in DS3 at 43 and I am soooo done! I do truly believe you know when you are done.


 

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