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  1. #311
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    Quote Originally Posted by katham View Post
    I had a cry in the car park after my BT. I feel so disappointed that my last shots gone to nothing. Im eating chip now, chocolate next and ive put a bottle of wine into the fridge for tonight...its what i need now
    Chocolate! Yessssss, need some too.
    I'm so sorry to read you had that cry in the car park, sending you a big hug. This sucks so bad, wish it wasn't so.
    Hoping you get a surprise result. Pleassssee fertility Gods!!!!!

    DH has given up alcohol for a year which is huge for him. He's 6 months through it and I've kinda been doing it with him. Wine does sound mighty fine right about now tho xx

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  3. #312
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    @lotsathoughts - I hope you don't mind I had a bit of a read of your history. I am so sorry you're out while I was reading, I honestly thought this was your time given your last positive result, which only ended because it was an abnormal embryo. As I understand, this was a normal one, yes? I'm very sorry.. But your idea of taking some time to allow your body to recover and heal is a good one. You still have a few good embryos and I'm hoping after you heal emotionally, you can go again. Your body these last few months has been fighting so hard, perhaps it's just a bit tired and needs a bit of a break. But please don't let these dissuade you. You do get pregnant, you do have a DD, so it can happen again. There's no reason why it shouldn't! Ppl have talked about immune related issues, have you ruled all that out? I'm hoping the new year brings you a much better result.. It's so frustrating when most of the stars align and then something goes wrong and no one can explain it. So many hugs for you hun. xx

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  5. #313
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    @katham, I really hope the news is good for you before you crack open that bottle of red. My understanding is that progesterone support causes the bleeding, so it could just get the irritation from the progesterone, because your line is nice and strong.. I'm not sure you should be disappointed just yet.. It's just a good feeling I have about you and I really hope I'm not wrong..

  6. #314
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    Quote Originally Posted by fairyfloss7676 View Post
    @lotsathoughts - I hope you don't mind I had a bit of a read of your history. I am so sorry you're out while I was reading, I honestly thought this was your time given your last positive result, which only ended because it was an abnormal embryo. As I understand, this was a normal one, yes? I'm very sorry.. But your idea of taking some time to allow your body to recover and heal is a good one. You still have a few good embryos and I'm hoping after you heal emotionally, you can go again. Your body these last few months has been fighting so hard, perhaps it's just a bit tired and needs a bit of a break. But please don't let these dissuade you. You do get pregnant, you do have a DD, so it can happen again. There's no reason why it shouldn't! Ppl have talked about immune related issues, have you ruled all that out? I'm hoping the new year brings you a much better result.. It's so frustrating when most of the stars align and then something goes wrong and no one can explain it. So many hugs for you hun. xx
    Thanks so much for your thoughtful message, I appreciate you taking the time to respond with such encouraging words. Yes this was a normal embryo and I have 2 more left (although one has a note by it saying "use last" which is because some cells were lost as it stuck to the oil ???). So I'm confident with one of them at least.
    I agree my body has been fighting hard. I thought I was covering all bases...acupuncture, naturopath, phsycologist, eating well, chemical free life, but you can't force it if your body is tired. And my heart is too. I'm definitely not even close to being strong enough to cope with another negative result so I know I'm ready for that break.
    I haven't been tested for immune issues yet. But I think I'll leave those tests until I'm feeling better anyway. I'm sure my exhaustion would impact my immunity so best to recuperate and test maybe in a couple of months.
    My FS thought I'd be ok because even though my last pregnancy came back as abnormal my body supported it. But we do change don't we.
    I think the mc certainly took more from me than I realised. Sometimes you feel ok and become determined, when really you should step back. I guess I'll live and learn from this.
    I hope next year will bring us a good result, but till then I'll actually be able to focus on being a good mother and wife, which has unfortunately been a lower priority when you're just trying to keep your head above water. And most importantly I'll be good to myself. No more rushing to appointments ... such a relief. Xxx

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  8. #315
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    Quote Originally Posted by lotsathoughts View Post
    Thanks so much for your thoughtful message, I appreciate you taking the time to respond with such encouraging words. Yes this was a normal embryo and I have 2 more left (although one has a note by it saying "use last" which is because some cells were lost as it stuck to the oil ???). So I'm confident with one of them at least.
    I agree my body has been fighting hard. I thought I was covering all bases...acupuncture, naturopath, phsycologist, eating well, chemical free life, but you can't force it if your body is tired. And my heart is too. I'm definitely not even close to being strong enough to cope with another negative result so I know I'm ready for that break.
    I haven't been tested for immune issues yet. But I think I'll leave those tests until I'm feeling better anyway. I'm sure my exhaustion would impact my immunity so best to recuperate and test maybe in a couple of months.
    My FS thought I'd be ok because even though my last pregnancy came back as abnormal my body supported it. But we do change don't we.
    I think the mc certainly took more from me than I realised. Sometimes you feel ok and become determined, when really you should step back. I guess I'll live and learn from this.
    I hope next year will bring us a good result, but till then I'll actually be able to focus on being a good mother and wife, which has unfortunately been a lower priority when you're just trying to keep your head above water. And most importantly I'll be good to myself. No more rushing to appointments ... such a relief. Xxx
    It's very difficult to be a mother when you're preoccupied with trying to fall pregnant. IVF is very taxing on the body and mind. I have only just started, but already I'm putting my life on hold until I get pregnant, but because of my age, that may not happen. I've not even considered donor eggs, because I wanted to give this a good go before having to look at other avenues.
    I can understand you wanting to be present for your DD and DH, but please don't tell yourself that they were a lower priority. You have given so much of yourself to give DD a sibling and DH another joyous life. You are an extraordinary woman! Out of love for your family, you have put your body through the trials and tribulations of IVF for all concerned, so please be kind to yourself, because you have been through the ringer mentally and physically.
    You know, I've read so much about the IVF process and half the time women who have been labelled as "unexplained fertility" end up falling pregnant naturally. Goes to show there are no guarantees with IVF and sometimes, the stims and the final maturation process can damage the eggs, so sometimes it's not us, but the process itself that's faulty. Having said that, you got a good bunch of eggs, which is half the battle in this sport, so you should be very happy your body produced good quality eggs. It's hard, because from what I read it took a long time for your HCG to go back to baseline and then it took a long time for your body to ovulate!!! I think your body just needed to heal from the m/c and wasn't ready to be a landlord for another tenant.. It just wants to have a bit of a holiday given xmas is around the corner! I promise you that in 2-3 months your mind and body will be in synergy once again and ready for another. For the moment, your hormones are out of whack and I dare say that's what might have caused this failure. A lot of ladies say it takes about 3 months to get your body and mind back into the swing of things. Therefore, I suggest you let your hair loose, have a big cry to get all that frustration and sadness out, go to the pool or the beach and enjoy the sun and surf, go and eat some yummy food at a lovely restaurant with DD and DH, go for lots of walks with them, take a ferry and feel the breeze against your skin, watch a movie, watch a lot of TV, sleep early, wake up and let the sun soak into your face and just forget about the whole IVF process and what's happened this year.. Once you forgot, everything falls into place!
    Wishing you and your wonderful family a great Christmas and a spectacular new year! I promise you 2017 will be a much better year for you! I promise. Let's wish 2016 good riddance!! 2016 has been terrible and I am happy it's coming to an end!!
    Lots of love and hugs and I look forward to some positive news in 2017! In the meantime, go and enjoy yourself!! Last weekend I was at the fair and I paid to jump on a jumping castle! Imagine a 41 yo on a jumping castle! I looked like a looney, but I had the best time and giggled the whole time! It made me feel amazing.

    xx

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  10. #316
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    @lotsathoughts oh so sorry to hear! I know all to well about the draining process of stimming and the disappointment at the end of it all.. the things we do for our miracle baby ey. I have my 1st scan in couple of hours after 7 days of stimming to see if anything is happening. Im not very hopeful tho after the last 2 being cancelled.. im so so tired when im stimming so exhausted soon as it hits the arvo. If this one gets cancelled i dunno what im gunna do. 2 in a row cancelled so far so havnt even made 1 egg collection. With a high AMH of 54 all the nurses and doctors cant seem to find why im not responding ohwell gotta try think positive for my scan this arvo!
    I hope your holding in there @lotsathoughts

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  12. #317
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    Quote Originally Posted by fairyfloss7676 View Post
    @katham, I really hope the news is good for you before you crack open that bottle of red. My understanding is that progesterone support causes the bleeding, so it could just get the irritation from the progesterone, because your line is nice and strong.. I'm not sure you should be disappointed just yet.. It's just a good feeling I have about you and I really hope I'm not wrong..
    Thanks @fairyfloss7676 I wont open the bottle until after the news☺ This is definitely my period, its been heavy since yesterday, I had bad cramps last night, my nausea's gone, my tummys flattened out and my sore breasts are gone. Although the poas line is thicker and darker today i think its just left over (a chemical😳). A very small part still holds out hope for the results... but that's the crazy part of me!😁

  13. #318
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    @fairyfloss7676 thank you again, your heartfelt message made me cry, but in a lovely way. Especially the bit about not letting my family down, as I think I've carried that guilt through each cycle. But your spin on it makes me feel like I've been doing it for the greater good of our family, sometimes I forget that.
    You know I've had a niggling feeling the whole way through about my body and the slow pace of its hormones. I've certainly struggled with that and almost felt let down by the process a bit. Nurses have almost made me feel silly for questioning it. I think this has given me renewed strength for being assertive and controlling this journey much more. I know my body best and need to be its advocate when the process makes me a number.
    Totally agree that it wasn't ready to be a landlord again. I see that so clearly now.

    I hope you don't mind but I'm going to show my husband your message. I think he needs to read about letting our hair loose just as much as I do. I know the break will do wonders for us both.

    He said to me the other night that he was over this limbo land. I had chronic fatigue and fought to get better, now fighting for a second baby...we haven't just been parents. Always fighting for something. Life always harder than we would like. We do need to make fun and life a priority. And jumping castles! We definitely need more jumping castles in our life!!

    Thanks again for your inspiration. Surely you must me in a field which helps others. You've got the knack for it xx

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  15. #319
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    I just got my results.....and against all loss of hope and all the symptoms i am currently experiencing my Hcg is 30....which means Im BFP!!! I am still in shock 😨 because i had not expected this result😶 The coordinator thinks my bleeding is related to the pessaries and my cramps is my body preparing itself! Ive not had cramps like this before. Or it could be the loss of one of the embies. I kept questioning her because i didn't believe her! Instead of a BT in 4 days I'm doing one sunday....i think because of the bleeding. So because of the shock (and my bleeding and cramps--still happening) i am just having to hope my Hcg keeps doubling. 😨😨😨 I can't trust this yet because i don't believe it!!! Poas every morning until i feel safe.

    @fairyfloss7676 thanks for your words for @lotsathoughts because they helped me to. I don't always feel that i have the right things to say to others to help them on this journey but you were spot on. Thanks💜

  16. #320
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    @katham congrats!! That's amazing news!! So happy for you!!
    Im so happy such a small step but my body has finally cooperated and i have 14 follies! First time since starting my IVF journey that i will make egg collection!

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