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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2013

    Default Help! Qld edu vs Qld health vs DV

    I have removed my 5yo ds and 4yo dd away from an emotionally abusive father 7mths ago. The situation was getting worse, he was beginning to punch walls, name call, put downs and I believe drug use then a very severe threat which resulted in me taking out a dvo with no contact.

    The kids have seen and heard a LOT of emotional abuse from their father. And seen a lot of creepy attempts at contact and wilful damage.

    Three weeks ago he set fire to my mothers car on fire in the driveway of our duplex. I don't know why but I had called the police to flag the house in the afternoon because my spidey sense was tingling and put the kids to bed in the back room and then was woken up in the middle of the night to the police extinguishing my mums car. Firefighters came and said an accelerant was used and a few more minutes the eves on the duplex would've caught on fire.

    Fortunately the kids slept through all of that but they saw the burnt car the next day and my son said 'dad did it' and walked off. The ex confessed to the police and is awaiting trial. I haven't attempted to give him access to the kids since.

    When I submitted the Dvo to the school 6mths ago their attitude was very cold. They have suggested that DS's being there was endangering staff and students and that they couldn't guarantee my sons safety.

    Also my son has been playing up at school he's having trouble with another kid in his class who the teachers says 'gets up in Ds's face repeatedly' and a 9yo at before school care who is teaching him horrible language and making him a 'flying monkey' of sorts 😁
    He has had 6 suspensions all explained with a 'we don't know what happened but....' And it all seems a convenient way of washing their hands of a problem.

    They suggested a paed visit due to behavioural outbursts.

    The Paed paid absolutely no attention to the fact that the past 6mths has been traumatic and diagnosed him with 'high functioning Aspergers'

    Half the questions I couldn't answer properly. He hasn't had a lot of social exposure because I have been busy dealing with Dvo beaches and staying safe. Life has not been normal and getting him into counselling is hard due to his age.

    All of a sudden the school is getting funding and they are involved with DS again.

    Today this teacher bails me up at pickup in front of all the other parents and says I need to sign Ds's forms for special education. When she saw my face because I was horrified that someone could be so tactless she then said 'I understand that this can be a traumatic journey? You seem to be upset? Aren't you happy with this diagnosis?'

    I said that there was a meeting date set, I would discuss it at that time and that my family crisis was being swept under the rug
    She says 'none of that Is of consequence'
    I was and still am gobsmacked.

    He will be getting a significant amount of access to help now but I believe he's more emotionally traumatised than anything else and no one seems to be taking that seriously? It also feels like there was a certain gratification in getting the funding - it was all about the funding.

    This is the rest of his life and I'm not sure what to do? Any advice would be helpful because I feel very trapped

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    Are you getting counsellIng for yourself Hun? You've been through a very rough time and there's no Shame in seeking support. It's hard to know, without being in the conversations when they happen, if the school are truly being jerks or if sensitivities are heightened on your part (understandable). That being said it's not cool that they talk to you about personal stuff in front of other parents - I would call them out on that and request they call you on the phone or only approach you in person if there were no other parents around.

    Hang in there...


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