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  1. #1
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    Default Arrrhggh! What would you do? Job issue

    Just wondering what you would do in this situation. I have been struggling for ages to make a decision and it's been too hard.

    I recently got a full time job - a great one that pays pretty well which I am very grateful for. It's a permanent position.

    Previous to this I was on 2 years mat leave and prior to this was working 2 days one week/3 the other week.
    When not working I was convinced I really didn't want to work but... then this job came up and it was too good to be true.

    The issue I'm having is I have a 2 yo who is in childcare pretty much full time and a 5yo in reception going to oshc 3 days a week. She seems tired, is struggling a bit and I feel like I hardly see my 2yo.

    We don't really need the money but the job is great for my career. It's good to come back to it after being unhappy at work for a while and then completely out of it.

    DH is offering to go part time or resign so we can have an easier life but that worries me as then I am pretty much the wage earner. (I earn more than him) I hate the idea of so much pressure just on me...

    What would you do? I miss my kids and wish I didn't have the stress of work but enjoy the extra $$ and getting another chance at my career.

    So much guilt whichever way I turn it seems. Either no time or less $$.
    TIA

  2. #2
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    Personally I'd cut back or stop working or look for another part time job but I'm extremely biast because I'm a SAHM and I love spending time with the kids . I don't miss working at all. Things are tight but workable and DH is more than happy to work full time to support our family. I love being around for all the mile stones and enjoying them while they are young. Different for everyone though. Good luck in your decision.

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  4. #3
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    My first move would be to try and reduce my hours. Even 9 day fortnights would be an improvement and then see if DH could also do a 9 day FN. That would mean the 2 year old is doing 4 days pw.

    Alternatively, what's the job market like? If you left now would it be easy enough to get one later on?

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  6. #4
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    Thanks my DH is willing to work full time too but I earn more than him so makes sense that I work and he stays with the kids...
    Sounds selfish but I would rather be home with them myself.

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    Unfortunately my job is quite unusual so I can't imagine getting another job like this one. I think a lot of people would be envious of my job so it's not as simple as just giving it up for now
    I am thinking of asking to reduce my hours even though I asked at the interview stage and they declined. I might try again...
    Yes maybe 2 part timers is a good option - maybe 4 days a week each..
    must now get the courage to ask my boss... thanks.

  8. #6
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    I have a friend who went back to work full time after having her second child. Her DH left his job to look after the kids. It works really well for them. She is the better wage earner and her career had stagnated after spending years working part time after her first child was born. Both parents and the kids are very happy.

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  10. #7
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    You know there's nothing wrong with kids going to CC 5 days a week as long as you're spending quality time with them outside of that time, they will survive.

    What sort of work do you do? Could you say finish at 3 every day to pick him up and then when he's in bed do 2 hours worth of work?

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  12. #8
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    Currently we have a nanny one day a week which helps. My 2yo seems happy generally so I don't think she minds so much but my 5yo seems to miss me quite a lot and generally needs me more.
    It is definitely a possibility that DH stays home while I work - he is tired of his job and would love a break.
    Maybe I should just suck it up and be the main earner for a while...
    My job is kind of flexible but to be honest with 2 young kids the idea of doing 2 hours of work at night is unbearable. I can hardly keep my eyes open after they are finally asleep.

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    Default Arrrhggh! What would you do? Job issue

    And @Asquared - I agree. They do survive with 5 days of childcare. In fact I love our cc so don't feel guilty about that but my school aged child seems exhausted and seems to need extra help that we find we don't have the time to do every night at the moment.

    Being a parent is so hard sometimes!
    Funny thing is when I was home full time I got really tired of the lack of intellectual stimulation. Now that seems kinda lovely. Can't win!

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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    You know there's nothing wrong with kids going to CC 5 days a week as long as you're spending quality time with them outside of that time, they will survive.

    What sort of work do you do? Could you say finish at 3 every day to pick him up and then when he's in bed do 2 hours worth of work?
    I agree with this.

    I work full time in a fairly senior position and DH is FIFO. Some days are really tough, but for us it is worth it.

    I start late one day a week to take DD to gymnastics. When DH is home he spends quite a lot of time with DD and we try to a lot of family things when he is home.

    It is certainly doable.

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