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  1. #1
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    Default TTC Pressure

    Hi I guess I am just putting it out there to see how other couple are dealing with the stress of TTC. I am concerned that my partner is just doing going along with having a baby because he knows how important it's to me. I do spend researching and i am scared if I keep going on about it and acting obsessed he will turn around and say he want's to stop trying. I feel like I try really hard to to pressure him or talk to much to him about it. I just feel like now I am just making him upset all the time and sex to him has simply because about me wanting to get pregnant. Does anyone else have feelings like this? It is just how some men deal with TTC?
    Last edited by kayte571; 16-10-2016 at 00:11.

  2. #2
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    I spent a lot of time everyday researching ttc and pregnancy/baby stuff! The majority of men aren't interested in that and also don't want the pressure to 'perform' at the right time.

    My dh didn't mind knowing when I was in my fertile window but didn't want to know anything else. Of course frequency of dtd increased when I was fertile so I tried hard to make sure the rest of the month wasn't too bad in terms of frequency.

    I turned to bubhub and girlfriends to discuss ttc conceive stuff Hope that helps xx

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    I didn't discuss the ins and outs of ttc with DH. I instigated DTD randomly throughout the month, so that he was none the wiser as to when I was fertile. It just took the pressure off him

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    I just leave it to DH to ask what he wants to know. He will often ask after the deed "is today a day that could have gotten you pregnant" and I will answer, but I don't volunteer information. I figure he will ask what he wants to know and that's that.

  5. #5
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    I check-in with DH to see how much he wants to know. But it's mostly down to me telling him when we are dtd to make a baby, or just for fun. He's pretty on board to do it when it's go time, even if neither of us are really in the mood.
    We just make those times a quick "in and out" (no pun intended ).

  6. #6
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    I found DH was up for it whenever so we didn't actually have to discuss when I was most fertile. Try not to make DTD all about conceiving. Instigate DTD at other times throughout the month too, not just your fertile times. I never bothered DH with the timing and all things TTCing because they either act disinterested or feel like they are being used lol.

  7. #7
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    As they other ladies have said, a lot of guys don't want to know. So your best bet is to keep doing your research and to know YOUR body really well, and just instigate DTD at the right times without going into detail.
    Obviously the fact that you have been talking to him about it means that you're the type of person who does like to discuss it, but he clearly does not feel the same way, so your best bet is to take to one of the TTC threads here and spill your guts here instead of with him. Maybe he will ask to know more if there isn't so much pressure for him to know everything xox GOOD LUCK!

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    The problem is he does feel like he is being used lol. When I was on the pill I had a really low sex drive. So now whenever I instigate it he thinks it's is just for baby making

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    I think it's a common reaction to the transition from your 'normal' sex life, to a ttc sex life. My hubby felt 'used' and a bit turned off when I pushed to bd more in my first few fw's, but after several months without success he has taken more of an active role in initiating sex in our fw. He is like "OK, let's get a baby in there this time!' and is far more enthusiastic. He sees it as a challenge. The first month he was genuinely disappointed that his 'boys didn't perform' - I believe his words were "you are meant to be knocked up with triplets already!". Bless him, Men are funny creatures.


 

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