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  1. #31
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    We chose a SA donor but I do have concerns about our future child not being able to track down the egg donor if they choose...it plays on my mind...we had ended up with 3 pgd tested embies 2 of which I had recently transplanted that didn't take...I'm going back for the last one in December....I also have a question...I have not wanted anyone but our immediate family to know that we are using a donor...I guess if I'm honest it's because I'm embarrassed and feel like I failure...it has made this process even harder as I'm a fairly open person and I've struggled with the loneliness of having a secret...what has everyone else done in regards to telling people or not?...I do intend on telling my child though how they were conceived

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  3. #32
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    Hi @Ruby2015

    i have told people. Initially my decision to tell people was driven by our search for a donor. We tried in Aus first and my logic at the time was you never know who knows someone who knows someone etc. So early on in our journey we told people in the hope that someone may come forward and say, hey I've a got a friend who would like to be a donor. After much discussion we even shared the ad for an egg donor on Facebook, which for me I usually keep very general and do not put a lot of private stuff on. Didn't work out and we ended up overseas. But now people know I am not concerned.

    Regardless of whether you tell people please try not to feel embarrassed or a failure. There are so may women in our situation for various reasons. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.

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  5. #33
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    Hi All

    TBH we thought that we would have to go down the unknown donor route as I didn't think that we had anyone who would willingly offer their eggs.

    After our cycle last year with my own that was unsuccessful we told our family (immediate and close Aunty/Uncle & cousins) how many cycles we had been through and what our next step was. Many were not aware of how many cycles and my beautiful 29 year old cousin who is a Mum of 4 offered her eggs.

    I realised then how appreciative I was that my little one would still have a genetic link (at the end of the day I wouldn't have cared if he or she has no genetic link as I made peace with that but it meant a lot that I would get that opportunity) and as we all look alike as well I was reassured that he or she may get some similar characteristics.

    More importantly I fully knew my cousins medical history and that of her kiddies and even though her oldest is Autistic, it wasn't a concern.

    I know that I will love my child whether I had an unknown or known donor but for me and us having a known donor just makes this journey that more special for us and our baby when they are old enough to understand the gift that we received.

    Jen

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  7. #34
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    Great thread. I'm 32 weeks pregnant with a baby boy from the Known Egg Donor program running between SA and Australia. I also have a biological son 12 and a stepson 7, and I'm 42. I Loved meeting my donor, and known became important to us after first considering doing anon cycles in SA. I decided I just didn't want a mystery and my DH supported me in this. I wanted to give our child options and not close a door I couldn't ever open again. But that's a personal decision and it cost a lot more to do the known SA cycle. Double in fact. Happy to answer any other questions about my choice. Xx mamaKes

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  9. #35
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    @MamaKes hi how are you? Going well i hope xox i was just wondering if you knew how gen72 was going as ive been thinking about her and her bubba and we hadnt heard anything?

  10. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorgeousgeorge View Post
    @MamaKes hi how are you? Going well i hope xox i was just wondering if you knew how gen72 was going as ive been thinking about her and her bubba and we hadnt heard anything?
    Hi gorgeousGeorge ! I'm going great. Yes 32 weeks and still working but looking forward to welcoming our boy in 5 weeks now.
    Hon - Gen72 is wonderful and she has a lovely little bub in Mater NICU doing better and better each day but a long road to go until she can take bub home. She is so brave. She even made to my baby shower last Saturday. She's a trooper! It's her story to tell, of course, about her bub etc but I'll pass her a message that you're thinking of her and ask if she can jump on to update you. Xx

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  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaKes View Post
    Hi gorgeousGeorge ! I'm going great. Yes 32 weeks and still working but looking forward to welcoming our boy in 5 weeks now.
    Hon - Gen72 is wonderful and she has a lovely little bub in Mater NICU doing better and better each day but a long road to go until she can take bub home. She is so brave. She even made to my baby shower last Saturday. She's a trooper! It's her story to tell, of course, about her bub etc but I'll pass her a message that you're thinking of her and ask if she can jump on to update you. Xx
    Hi @MamaKes thanks for letting me know, yes of course i understand about it being gen72's story :-), its ok just let her know she's in my thoughts and no need to update us, im sure she's got lots of other things to worry about. I just kept wondering whether bubs was still in or out. Tell her she and bubba are in my thoughts xox im also really glad to hear you are doing well xox

  13. #38
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    I'm on phone and so much want to make a huge reply to this. Hopefully our Internet will be back on Wednesday.

    Quickly I don't have a preference a baby is a baby.

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  15. #39
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    Hi ladies - Sorry for the delayed update. November and December were really difficult months.

    I lost my mother on 18/12, 2 days before my son's birth. It's been a really horrible shock though she'd been ill, I never Imagined it would happen.

    But then as one soul left this world, another arrived. Neo Kobe Jensen was born at 12.13pm, 7 pound 7, healthy and happy. He's healed a lot of hearts.

    Neo means "precious gift for the parents" in Tswana, a South African language
    Kobe (pronounced coby) means "born on Tuesday" in Twi, his dad's Ghana language
    Jenson means "son of Jen", after my mum Jenny who many called JEN, it also means God is gracious in Hebrew

    Attachment 87514

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  17. #40
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    @MamaKes congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby boy! What a roller coaster though, losing your mum - I'm so sorry that's heart breaking especially right before the birth of little Neo. All the best for a happy year!

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