There's so much stuff these days about the importance of preschool / early education for children's best chances at life... Or rather school. From all I've read I think this is baloney and actually Childcare is really only important for disadvantaged children - what kids need is love and attention and if you have a loving parent that reads and talks to their child, responds to their needs and provides opportunities for socialisation with other kids early learning isn't NECESSARY.
That's not to say I think Childcare is bad or that quality early learning facilities have no benefit. I just don't believe kids are better off in Childcare than being cared for by a loving relative.
But part of me wants to believe that my kids need Childcare because I need a break from them! My 2 older kids did 2 short days a week from about age 2 and my now 7 yo flourished when he attended preschool. My 2 year old will hopefully go 2 days a week from next year. We have no family in the county and I feel really quite isolated at times. I didn't plan on being sahm but we moved here from uk when my eldest was nearly 2 and I couldn't find work in my field and then any job I thought I might be able to do would've involved kids in long days for no real financial gain taking into account travel costs and Childcare.
Anyways I'm thinking of upping ms2's hours at care from 5-10. There is so much to do in the house with 3, she doesn't nap and they aren't all in bed until 9 so I find it really hard to find time for me to research my study options and having a bit more time just playing with other kids might be good for her? But for some reason I am balking at doing this. I feel like I'd be wasting our money and bad about myself that it means I'm not coping when I should be able to.
I guess this long winded post is just curiosity as to other people's attitude to Childcare.
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05-10-2016 09:07 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
How do you feel about Childcare / early learning?
05-10-2016 09:11 #2
It's ok to do something for you. Don't feel bad. You don't need to justify this.
My kids go 3 days a week for 7 hours. If I didn't work I'm not sure it would be any different. I need to get stuff done!
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05-10-2016 09:25 #3
I don't see an issue. each family needs to do what suits them all best, that includes mum.
I've said to my dh a few times, even if I wasn't back at work, ds would be in daycare 1 day a week regardless as you do need a break. nobody can do a job 24/7 without a break. so don't feel bad.
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05-10-2016 09:25 #4
I am someone who gets self-actualisation through my work, and I am also an introvert who badly needs down time, so for me childcare *is* a necessity. I believe happy mum, happy child, and this is the best way for me to maintain that balance.
05-10-2016 09:45 #5
05-10-2016 10:05 #6
My youngest 3 all go to preschool 6 hours/3 days a week. Not for me. I get lonely without them and have filled my time with volunteer work instead haha. I do prefer them being home. But it has done wonders for them, academically and socially. After seeing how well my middle two did there, it was no contest that it's a good place for my youngest.
I sometimes feel guilty about them going but they love it and it has taught them a lot. It's only a small preschool, often there is only my 3 plus one other boy there (though my SIL just moved to town so my two nephews will start going soon) so it's not so much the "other kids" part that's helped, it's the being away from Mum I think. Learning to accept authority from others and having different rules etc
05-10-2016 12:00 #7
For our family, we don't use daycare. DD never went until pre-prep at her School (part time), she just did playgroup with me every Friday morning. She adjusted great. Our DS also won't be going until Pre-prep. But that's just what works for us and others need childcare for whatever reason, financial/career etc. I worked on my PhD at home while DD was young but once she was a toddler I found it more difficult to study from home.
05-10-2016 12:27 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
My DD started daycare about a month ago. I'm going back to work in January and my original plan was to start her at daycare around November to get her used to it but the spot was available so I took it so I didn't miss out. It's been so great. She goes two days a week and I'm not going to lie, having that time to clean the house, prep dinner, do the grocery shopping or even just go clothes shopping or get my hair done without either dragging her along or hitting my parents up to babysit has been amazing. As she gets older she will be able to do all the stuff at daycare that I don't want to do at home (like painting), she gets to play with other kids and toys that she doesn't get to with me. Yes we go on play dates with my friends but I find it's a bit patchy, sometimes we'll have lots of catch ups and other times we might go a couple of weeks without seeing friends so it gets a bit boring! Same reason I go to gymbaroo, regular interaction with other kids and stuff she doesn't get to do at home.
I love daycare! I don't think it's strictly necessary for DD but I've learned it's necessary for me.
05-10-2016 17:35 #9
How do you feel about Childcare / early learning?
I love DC! It's been great for my kids - they love going and playing with their friends, doing all sorts of different activities and learning different things. They're secure, confident and outgoing.
It's also been amazing for me to get back into a job I love, help me to feel like me again and have something for myself. For me, it's too much for spend 24/7 with my kids albeit I adore them.
We have found a DC we love so that's a big part of it too.
Having said all that, that's what suits our family but everyone is completely different!
ETA I had to make a real effort to let go of any mummy guilt/feeling I let myself down as I can't cope with being home all the time. As long as my kids know they're so loved and cared for, I'm happy
Last edited by hazzyj; 05-10-2016 at 17:38.
05-10-2016 18:03 #10
My oldest continued in childcare while I was on mat leave with my youngest. Partly selfish on my part because I wanted time to bond with my youngest without her around and so i could nap and watch Netflix during his naps.
It was also good for her. She has a bunch of friends, I think its been good to learn different discipline styles to mine and DH's and start behaving in group environment.
Eta- back at work and again it's a necessity for us. I feel a bit of guilt that I had DD in full time before DS'S birth and I feel a bit of guilt that I have to up DS'S days next year for financial reasons. That's because I think we miss each other during those days and I personally feel like I barely interact with them on those days
Last edited by smallpotatoes; 05-10-2016 at 18:05.
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