In fact I think it's been repeated numerous times here and all over BH that whatever a woman's choice is, and if it results with a healthy baby and mum, that's all that really matters.
Even if you have a drug free birth, you can still be disappointed or experience PTS afterwards for various reasons..
I personally had a traumatic post-birth experience that I still get emotional about when i talk about it or even think about it, and this is after 5 years since giving birth to my first son and had nothing to do with the birth itself.
Things don't always go to plan.. That's life. But it doesn't hurt to prepare yourself and feel empowered and have a positive attitude going into such a big unknown as childbirth (or parenting for that matter).
And to be called naive or crazy for considering it is quite offensive and definitely not helpful.
I second vicpark's suggestion about having a plan for after baby arrives. This is definitely an area that a lot of people probably don't even think about the first time around, and from my experience, it can be really harmful to mum & baby if it's not managed right.
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30-09-2016 22:11 #51
30-09-2016 22:34 #52
01-10-2016 05:59 #53Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2016
Agree 100% with the post-delivery preferences being so important, this is the one area I feel quite well informed about and have discusssed things with DH to ensure he agrees and is happy. It's amazing how much information is out there that I have not been told by my doctor/midwife. I just make sure to ask them questions every appointment and they are happy to discuss. Had a great chat with my OB about the hospital's standard procedures so that I'm aware. A very good point someone made about mentioning c-section preferences should I find myself in that situation.
I have been listening to 'The Pregnancy Podcast' during my pregnancy and it has given me so much helpful information! They cover off every topic of childbirth that you can think of from an objective point of view and substantiate all information with research and references. I would highly recommend it to anyone looking to get more informed.
01-10-2016 06:15 #54
I do understand because my first birth was complicated and I did ask for an epi after 20 hours of drug free painful labor that was not progressing (later finding out this was due to DS head lying asynclitic and each contraction was pushing him sideways into my hip rather that down).
However I am glad it was me that suggested the epi and it wasn't pushed onto me. I am really glad my midwives actually tried to talk me out of it - because they knew how much I wanted to avoid it. I don't regret the decision to have an epidural because I needed it plain and simple. However the epi did cause my Bub distress which ultimately led me down the emergency c sec path. So I fully understand the desire to avoid an epidural - it's not so much about wanting to be 'tough' but much more about the potential cascade of interventions that often follow.
I also had constant ctg monitoring with both my Labors - you can have an active labor whilst being monitored. It's generally the spinal that prevents activity and limits positioning. Once again this is different from hospital to hospital.
I am not writing this to argue but to offer information as per everyone else.
I also agree that aftercare is extremely important to note in birth preferences, including a section on what you want to happen if you end up in emergency.
Because it doesn't all stop once the baby is out. You can have an amazing birth but have the whole experience marred by a horrible after birth experience.
Anyway I hope you can feel supported in your choices OP. It's clearly a topic everyone is quite passionate about but I really think regardless of opinion it's important you feel supported in Your choices.
Check out birth without fear in Facebook. Some great birth stories on there (ALL types of birth).
01-10-2016 07:56 #55
01-10-2016 08:06 #56Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
01-10-2016 08:47 #57
01-10-2016 08:49 #58
Someone has already mentioned it, but I found the book 'Birth Skills' to be fantastic. I don't remember whether I had my preferences written down with my first, but my partner was well aware of what they were as was my midwife (part of a midwifery group practice). Having them able to advocate for what I wanted helped to put my mind at ease.
I ended up with 2 drug free births, which is what I had hoped for. That was my preference because - essentially - I didn't want to undergo any unnecessary medical procedures. Birth is not a medical procedure. Sometimes birth requires some intervention, sometimes intervention is used due to other factors, and that's all well and good... But not something I wanted.
For me, what helped me to achieve that was a combination of luck and staying at home as long as possible. Both times, my babies were born within 5-10 minutes of arriving in the hospital. Not ideal if something were to go wrong, but I didn't have an opportunity to ask for any pain relief.
01-10-2016 10:26 #59
I just wanted to add.
You will find as your navigate through parenthood, everyone will have an opinion on everything you do. I have bore the brunt of many well-meaning but inappropriate comments. Mainly due to the size of my family, as I had 4 under 4.5. (haha, do you know how babies are made?) and having a special needs child (but he seems so normal). I am also now getting comments at my intent to study next year (oh you'll never juggle full time study and 4 kids) guess people are at a loss with what to say sometimes and whatever comes in their head spills out. I am just as guilty of it. I'm probably guilty of dishing out the exact same comments I now receive.
Most people mean well and are giving, what they think, is really good advice to you. People are often very self centred. Not in a malicious way, just in that they think if they can/can't do something, then you will be the same.They could also be trying to use these comments as a Segway to talk about some of their own unresolved feelings. They might be telling you how much it hurts because they want you to ask why it hurt them so much etc.
Don't feel like you should have to keep everything to yourself. Sharing can be a great social tool, but you do have to be careful what you put out there. Anything you are vulnerable about is best kept close to your chest. People will unknowingly tear you apart in the brutalist of fashions.
01-10-2016 10:50 #60Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
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