I have a 13 year old DD who really wants to get some foils in her hair. Her hair colour is dark blonde however she wants to lighten it up for summer.
I don't know if I'm being a drama queen but I feel uncomfortable with her doing it at such a young age.
On the weekend she got acrylic nails done without my permission. She was out with friends at a shopping centre (which we drive her to and pick her up from) and all her friends where doing it so she decided to go along with it. Thankfully she got a very neutral colour and they are not very long so they don't look too bad.
I guess I'm after feedback because I feel she is growing up so fast.
Another issue is she looks much older then 13, most people think she is 16 and that's without any makeup.
I don't want to push her away from trusting me and I don't want to always say no to everything.
Any thoughts? Ways I could tackle this?
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26-09-2016 09:10 #1
13 year old and hair colour question?
26-09-2016 09:44 #2
It's a hard one.
I've told my girls that they can, when are old enough to have a job and use their own money. DD1 who is now 16 used birthday money to dye her hair at a friends house. I think she would have 14??? It didn't turn out quite how she envisaged. Actually her hair went a maroony almost purple colour and she cringes when she looks back at the photos. Even though the colour was only semi permanent and was supposed to wash out, it didn't and she was stuck with it for ages. Suffice to say she hasn't done it again.
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26-09-2016 09:56 #3Junior Member
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My two DD are 13 and 14 and we have just agreed to get theirs done for their birthdays next month. I'd rather get it done professionally than them do it behind our back with some dodgy home job that turns out horrible! (And that we'd have to pay to get fixed!)
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26-09-2016 09:56 #4
It's a hard. I only have experience with boys but if it where me with a 13yr old DD I'd say no unless she can pay for it herself. There's a lot of upkeep on colouring hair and the nails would need to be done every couple of weeks. My BF has her 16yr old niece living with her she wants her nails done every fortnight and hair done. BF has said no get a job but she's to lazy to do that. Their paying for her private schooling and for her to live with them (mum passed, dad's a loser) so that's sufficient I think
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26-09-2016 10:06 #5Senior Member
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No. Will it lighten up naturally anyway once summer comes?
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26-09-2016 10:12 #6
My DD13 sounds identical to yours..looks much older, same hair color and all...
My DD asked if she could get a few lightening foils in her hair for her 13h bday. ..she feels her hair is a bit dull and mousey. She wants something subtle.. She has used the lightening shampoos before but it's not good for her hair...
I ended up saying she could do it for her 13th bday...which was in August, she hasn't got around to organising it yet and in summer her hair usually lightens anyway.
I sort of think parenting a teenager is all about compromise. Allowing some things, but staying firm on others. For me allowing a few subtle natural foils at the hairdresser was better than her going out and dying her whole head with a supermarket dye!! Or getting a piercing...or a tattoo...or any other scary thing!
26-09-2016 10:21 #7
My eldest is 11 and I can see this conversation happening in the near future. I *think* I will say no at 13 as I'm worried about it damaging her hair. She has dry very curly hair and I think foils would be a disaster.
I coloured and did all sorts of crazy things to my hair from about 14 or 15 so I know it's coming.
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26-09-2016 10:23 #8
26-09-2016 10:31 #9
What about a compromise of an all over semi permanent in just one shade lighter than her natural colour? It wouldn't need as much upkeep as foils (which can be really noticeable as they grow out), and also might be gentler on her hair? I don't think it would really change the colour that much, but maybe just give her a bit more shine etc to make her feel 'summery'?
I'm not a hairdresser so I don't know, but I think most times foils are done with bleach, which personally I wouldn't want my child to start using at 13 (because of how wrecked my hair has been after attempts to go lighter with foils).
Good luck, it's a hard one!
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26-09-2016 10:37 #10Senior Member
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- Sep 2016
What are you afraid of? It's her body/hair so her choice.
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