Do you like to be left alone? Or do you like to have someone dote on you a little and really look after you?
DP and I hardly ever get sick, so it's taken over 3 years of being with him to learn that we are a little different in how we respond to illness in others. DP believes that people get well sooner if they are left alone, mostly, and he likewise tends to leave me be if I am not well (which has literally only been a couple of times in 3 years).
I, on the other hand, am like a nurse when anyone is sick and am constantly checking on them and checking that they're ok. I think it's because my mum was like this and I also like to be looked after if I'm sick. So...the couple of times I've been sick I have felt a bit miffed when DP leaves me well alone. Lol.
Right now he's a bit sick with what looks like the beginnings of a cold or something, and I asked him if he prefers to be left alone when he's sick. He said "Yeah...I guess. Probably." He is so seldom sick, as am I, so I'm not too worried, but I have communicated to him that I expect a little more attention if I'm unwell
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23-09-2016 21:54 #1
How do you like to be treated when you are sick?
23-09-2016 22:06 #2
Lol this sounds like my DP and myself. We've had arguments over this. He likes to be left alone when sick, yet l naturally ask him if he's ok, make sure he's ok. When l'm sick, getting empathy is a hassle. He's like l can't fix it...l don't want you to fix me, just hug me lol.
23-09-2016 22:16 #3
23-09-2016 22:24 #4
The fact that I have had a head cold for two weeks, but about 3 days ago hubby said "I think I'm coming down with something, I hope you don't catch it" probably says a lot. I don't want to be doted on, but a bit of a chance to relax would be nice.
I'm pretty run down at the moment. To the point I now have oral thrush (I get it when I am run down beyond my body being able to keep it in check) but I'm still busy busy haha.
I have tried to put it into his terms such as "I've hit the wall" as that's how he describes it but he still doesn't get it. I say "I've hit the wall and I'm really struggling" and he goes "that's no good. I'm tired and going to bed, goodnight".
So somewhere between that, and being doted on would be good haha
23-09-2016 22:55 #5
Yup, I'm l like you I want my mum hahah. He likes to be left alone and I want someone to check on me every now and then and treat me a little by special.
I had an mc last year and then a difficult preg with preeclampsia and hospital bed rest and I just wanted sympathy and cuddles. He's like you'll be right etc. my mum came to sympathise and be my nurse lol he's just not caring
23-09-2016 22:55 #6
I should add; he is actually a pretty loving and caring guy. He just doesn't think sometimes. Add that to the fact that he is basically the guy that all the "man-flu" memes are about and yeh. He doesn't cope with being unwell at all and is practically dying all the time. Whereas I'm a bit more of a "martyr" personality and push through until I physically cannot anymore.
23-09-2016 23:37 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
Sounds exactly like me and DH. He likes to keep to himself, I have to force him to go the doctor if it's serious or drags on because he thinks if he just battles on and ignores it it'll go away. I like to be taken care of a little, not babied but you know someone making you a cup of tea or asking if you're ok and getting a few cuddles doesn't go astray. DH and I have been together 11 years and we still argue over it, I don't see us coming go any common ground anytime soon.
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23-09-2016 23:54 #8
I like to be left alone but sometimes I need someone to just care and help in any way whether that be organise dinner for kiddo, tell me stay home from work and have a rest or even a hug. The only one who cares is kiddo and he misses me when I am sick as I have been extremely sick so I don't kiss or cuddle him because I catch things from work and if I can avoid him getting sick, I would much prefer that.
24-09-2016 04:12 #9
Definitely left alone.
I would feel nurtured if I could dissapear behind my bedroom door for 24 hours, all housework, meals, and children taken care of without one.single.question.
24-09-2016 04:32 #10
Depends. Usually when I'm sick it's because I have a migraine and I cannot stand being touched when I have one. DH will take the day off work sometimes to "look after me" if it's during the week, but he doesn't come check on me or see how I'm going or anything it's more when I get up hours later after its passed where he'll give me cuddles and let me snuggle in on the couch. Otherwise he can be practically helpful. If I have a migraine or a vomiting bug he'll clean the ensuite toilet for me so I have a nice shiny clean toilet to vomit into. If only the smell of toilet cleaner didn't make it worse haha. I don't want to be mollycoddled but having someone coming in to check on me, see if I need something say once an hour or so when I'm stuck in bed, that would make me happy. If it's just a cold then I'm happy just to wallow in the couch and have him do all the housework/cook dinner. I use the whole nurse/infection control aspect. Works a treat!
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