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  1. #1
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    Default To tell the boss or not?

    Hi there, I am excited to announce that I am starting my second ICCSI cycle this Sunday! Our first cycle resulted in my now, almost 3 year old daughter. The thing is, last time I was studying, not working, thus my schedule was a little more flexible and I had no boss to question me. I landed my dream job and I've got one term left before completing my first year of teaching! We thought we'd be clever and fit IVF mostly into the September/October 2 week break, but my body had other plans. This means that I will have my second scan, egg collection and embryo transfer all in the first three weeks of term 4. Do I let my boss know why I need to take the time off? Or shall I be a little more vague? I don't want it to effect his decision on weather to keep me on next year or not. If the cycle is successful, I should still be able to work for the first 2 terms next year. I know he isn't allowed to discriminate, but .... Thoughts?

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    Keep it to yourself and be vague. Tell him it's medical. Many clinics are open super early so you can have scans and blood tests before work.

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Wise Enough For This Useful Post:

    Blossom74  (23-09-2016),NessieJ  (22-09-2016),Tinkers  (23-09-2016)

  4. #3
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    I wouldn't say anything. Try and manage it through early appointments before work and some limited absences for whatever other reason you can make up. I told my boss about my ivf at a stressful, emotional point and wish I'd kept it to myself.

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  6. #4
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    Thanks, Unfortunately I have to travel over an hour to get to my appointments and times are quite inflexible. At best I'll be able to make it back for last session of the day. Be upfront about the times I need off, but perhaps not the exact reason?

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    Quote Originally Posted by NessieJ View Post
    Thanks, Unfortunately I have to travel over an hour to get to my appointments and times are quite inflexible. At best I'll be able to make it back for last session of the day. Be upfront about the times I need off, but perhaps not the exact reason?
    Well you will need the times off unless you can rearrange/willing to wait for a non-teaching period. So it's up to you but if your employment is tenuous then I wouldn't say anything. They aren't 'allowed' to discriminate but they might consider a potential absence on your behalf when working out staffing. Hopefully this cycle works but if it takes a while then you will be available and wanting to work for longer so give yourself the best chance of maintaining your job.

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    Be vague and call in sick for egg collection. Try and get the 7am appts it'll just mean you'll have a really long day with driving from where you teach to your clinic and back again. Scans don't take that long same for bloods if you get in early you'd be back by recess time.

    Or you could say your DD is sick and no one to look after her.

    Or wait until summer holidays start then no kne can ask questions at all

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  12. #7
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    I tried to be extremely vague while telling my boss, but ended up telling him we were doing IVF. He really had my back and helped me out when I needed to go for appointments, even telling me to take more time off if required! From some things he mentioned, I think he must have done IVF as well. Sometimes it pays off to be up-front.

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    I have a nightmare boss. I'm not saying a word although it does add to the pressure when they crack it if u take any time off. She even makes us call her to tell her we will be away and when u do she asks "what's wrong" as though she is your friend but really she is just questioning you and making u feel uncomfortable. I'm just keeping it to myself. Will take sick leave possibly all week from egg collection to when they transfer it back just to be out of the stress zone during this time. It's really unfair. Some people do have real issues & they just add to the stress. So unnecessary.

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    My bosses know I'm doing IVF and are supportive of that. They also know that I intend to keep working after we (hopefully) have a baby, so for them it's not too much of a big deal.

    For you though...Play it safe. Getting a permanent FT position in teaching is (from what I've heard) not an easy thing to do. And it's all well and good to say "He/she can't discriminate" but you'd be surprised how easy it would be for him/her to hire someone else next year because "they were the better candidate with regards to experience." They never actually come out and say "We're not offering the position to you because you might get pregnant!"

    If I was in your position, I'd keep my plans firmly locked away. Call in sick where you need to, get a certificate saying you are "Unfit for work due to illness or medical treatment" and leave it at that. Once you achieve a successful pregnancy and reach a place where you're feeling confident about it (12 weeks?) then tell them. It might not be upfront but if you're going to be having a baby you have to put yourself and your family's well-being first.

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    I told my (usually not very nice) boss and he was surprisingly very supportive. I only told him because I thought I'd have to take a lot of time off. I ended up taking only a couple of days so you might not even need to say anything. I have a permanent position though. If you're temp at the moment I'd keep it to myself. I know bosses shouldn't discriminate. However, knowing that you'll likely be pregnant next year would probably factor into their decision when hiring next year. I agree with PP, tell them it's medical but don't mention the ivf.

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