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  1. #1
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    Default Do people get your child's s.ex wrong? Do you care? Do you correct them?

    Hello all

    Just wondering if people get your child's s.ex wrong, and whether this bothers you, and whether you correct them? For example, if you're chatting to a random at the shops, or at the park - and they assume your child is a girl, when he's a boy, or a boy when she's a girl. Does this bother you?

    I get this a bit. My almost 2 yr old DS's hair is a bit long, and despite the fact he wears what would ordinarily be regarded as boy's clothes, randoms often refer to him as a girl. This doesn't bother me, and I usually don't bother correcting them - though I might think more about this as his language comprehension gets better.

    Some people seem to be mortified though if their child is mistaken for the other s.ex.

    I was just reading that BH article, for example, about the woman whose girl was playing with trucks or something like that in the shops, and someone thought she was a boy. The mum was upset about this, and talked about how kids can play with whatever they want (which I am completely on board with of course), but she was very keen to have it known that her child was a girl.

    What do you think?

  2. #2
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    My dd has been mistaken for a boy quite a bit. She's always been a bit of a baldy so I think this works against her in the gender recognition stakes.
    Most times I don't mind and don't bother correcting them. Other times it does bug me. It gets a bit old, the assumption that a child with short hair in jeans must be male. Occasionally I even decide to use it as an opportunity to amuse myself. Stranger: "what a handsome little boy! What's his name?" Me: "thanks! It's *insert ridiculously feminine name here*. Stranger: *incredibly confused look* "that's... Lovely."
    I guess what I'm saying is my reaction to the confusion really depends on my mood!

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    I'm not fussed. My daughter was forever mistaken for a boy when she was younger (not these days, as she likes stereotypically girly clothes etc.), and it never bothered me. I'd usually ignore it and just use the correct pronoun if I were talking about her. Some people would be so apologetic, but I don't see the issue. They're kids. As far as I'm concerned, social cues (clothes, hair, language, toys etc.) are the only way that we can gender young children. Sure, some kids have more 'masculine' or more 'feminine' faces, but I don't think that's got anything to do with whether they're girls or boys.

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    My son had long hair until he was 4. He was always mistaken for a girl. Didn't bother him or me.

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    It happens to DD all the time. I don't really care. I think it's a bit odd when she's wearing all pink and people refer to her as a boy but at the same time I think it's good that people don't necessarily assume that because a child is wearing pink then they are a girl. I've never corrected anyone. I may provide a snarky response in future if someone was being rude but to date people have only ever said things like 'what a cute little boy you have' and 'wow he's gorgeous'.

    There are more important things to be angry about.

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    With DS it bothered me a bit. Not enough to mention to anyone though.

    With DD it does not bother me anymore. She is only 5.5 months anyway and I don't think you can tell the difference at that age anyway!

    DS has longish hair but he looks boyish so at 3.5yo people know he is a boy. Honestly though more people say 'boy' rather than 'girl' when mine were/are babies (so despite wearing pink/tutus dresses she gets called he).

    I don't remember when DS looked more boyish. I always dressed him in bowties/extremely 'old man' boyish clothes so maybe that made him look more boyish?!?!

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    I know a family who's young boys have long hair and are constantly mistaken for girls. The mum just says there's nothing wrong with being mistaken for a girl, I'm a girl and girls are awesome! The boys just laugh it off. I think they do get a bit annoyed sometimes especially when older people refuse to believe they are boys. What's interesting is watching how differently people treat them when they think they are girls, much softer, higher tone of voice etc.

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    Hasn't bothered me although it has only rarely happened - which I find interesting because DS wears a lot of very unisex clothes in bright colours. I have friends who get really annoyed by it!

    The kid I nannied for was 11 and always mistaken for a girl because of his long hair. Never bothered him much!

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    One of my girls was a baldy and she often got mistake for a boy. Her staple wardrobe was dark colours too so we got it a fair bit. Never bothered me and I'd always just smile and not make a big deal of it.

    The only time it annoyed me was once in the shops and someone said "oh he has such a cheeky smile" and my other daughter commented that she's actually a girl, and she said "ohh.... not sure why you dress her like that"... uh ok?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Candiceo View Post
    I think they do get a bit annoyed sometimes especially when older people refuse to believe they are boys.
    Because the stranger on the street knows more about your kids and family than you do lol. Gotta love stubborn strangers on the street.

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