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  1. #1
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    Default 3 year old has no empathy. Quite the opposite.

    So I know at 3 they are still learning empathy but DH is almost the opposite of empathy. You say why did you do that and he says ' i want to hurt him/her', he shows no remorse at all. If you say what happened with a totally deadpan face he'll look at you and say I pushed /bite him. Ask him why? He'll say I want to. I've not noticed particularly mean stuff to animals. We have a puppy and he was mean at first but he was more rough then mean and he's learnt not too. But still has his moments. There was one incident with a small moth. He was trying to squash it. I said not to and he said he wanted to kill it. I said it will hurt the moth and the moths family would miss it etc l. He said ' I don't care '. I don't like the moth. That freaked me out a bit but nothing like that has happened since. He is the youngest of three and very articulate for his age but I'm starting to worry. He has always been rough like this - since quite young but I'm thinking he needs to get an assessment or something! In everything else he's fine, advanced for his age in lots of areas actually. Anyway one else been though this???? I'm not sure how long to wait.
    Also, the childcare has said they would expect his level of empathy to be higher then what it is right now. It's at the level of a much younger child.
    Last edited by CleverClogs; 14-09-2016 at 20:47.

  2. #2
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    Empathy is not a skill that is acquired until middle to later primary -the early years framework has it in there and I would have to take it off any planning docs I put it on as a learning intention for p-2 as it was unrealistic...day care is perhaps having trouble phrasing it well???

    In saying all this, I've had some similar concerns with my 2.5 year old lately. He's intentionally kicked the dog several times (only the small one and he often tries to cuddle her?) and he laughs if he hurts me and I say we don't hurt people... Hopefully we find there are lots like us...???

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    CleverClogs  (14-09-2016)

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    No advice but my 2yo thinks it's hilarious to hurt people. He is my 4th kid and the others are much less violent than he is. He just seems really mean a lot of the time. I get worried sometimes but I just keep muddling away and trying to change his behaviour patterns.

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    My DS has less empathy than his sisters did at 3.5.

    His answer to why did you hurt/push/hit is always 'cause i want to'

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    Hugs OP.

    Those things would also concern me. But that would also depend on how often the behaviour occurs as well. I would see a GP and get a referral to a psych. It could be nothing but I always believe the sooner someone gets help (if needed) the better it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    Hugs OP.

    Those things would also concern me. But that would also depend on how often the behaviour occurs as well. I would see a GP and get a referral to a psych. It could be nothing but I always believe the sooner someone gets help (if needed) the better it is.
    Agree with this.

    If you're ever concerned about your child's behaviour, it doesn't hurt to get them assessed by a professional.


 

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